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Post by anne12 on Jul 28, 2021 5:39:42 GMT
What do you deserve?
Women are often bad at getting what they deserve, because they often only ask for what they think they deserve
- they wait for the man, the boss, the other to discover what they need or - they try to demand it, typically in a way that comes to seem demanding or critical. Because they do not quite think they can get, what they deserve.
Men, can also be bad at getting what they need.
- Because they also only ask for what they think that they deserve - They only demand what they need, when they have reached the breaking point. In resistance just like women.
Men unconsciously calculate what they have earned by taking all the good they have and subtracting all the bad that (they think) they have done, which they have not yet forgiven. So they also end up deserving much less, than what they need (sex, support, sleep ect.) That's why men go around and are a worse version of themselves than the one they really are.
For both men and women, it's about separating their needs from their past (not just from their childhood but also from yesterday or just from 5 minutes ago).
What we deserve is never enough to be the best version of ourselves. Instead, make sure you get what you need, instead of just getting what you think you deserve.
What do you need? Ask yourself regularly throughout the day: "If everything were possible and unlimited including recognition, closeness, tenderness, sex, money and time - then what would I need ?"
Think of it like this tonight: Get a good night's sleep - not because you deserve it, but because you will then be able to be a better person tomorrow: more patient, more concentrated, better thinking, or whatever a good night's sleep now does for you!
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Post by anne12 on Oct 21, 2021 8:52:09 GMT
Yesterday I had a client on the couch for body therapy. We talked about selfishness (like a shadow) and about self-love as an expression of selfishness. For her, it was important to be able to feel calm inside, and I really think that is a longing most people have. But unrest is as much a part of life as calm is. One actually presupposes the other, for the psyche is not created to be static. When calm comes, creativity and inner drive arise. And with new ideas, initiatives and dreams comes unrest, because development always means that we have to go out on uncertain ground. That's the way it is - exactly as it should be.
Another part of the talk was about how to live in the present. Why one can not both take responsibility for the whole world AND be in the present at one and the same time. It requires an active choice and opt-out.
But it made me think that self-care / self-love is often abused because we do not do it sincerely and in the present. An example: Sometimes I think that now I am going to be “selfish”. Then I lubricate the legs into cream. It's something I really love. But hey… wait a minute. It is not the act itself lubricating legs into cream that is selfish’. It's all that’s outside that determines whether it's actually selfish. Do you sit and stare at the TV for a while and really just put bodyoil on yourself in OR have you “staged” your environment with calmness, candles, TV off and focus on your legs? Do you use your senses to smell, feel and see. Do you notice what it does to you? Both on the outside and the inside.
Self-love is a gift you give yourself, which is about giving yourself to yourself and your senses. And then it doesn’t matter if the action is to lubricate oneself, go for a walk, yoga, hot baths, eat cake or whatever. And yes, cake is also self-love, if you eat it in peace, in a nice environment and with a focus on the taste experience, the consistency and the bodily feeling.
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Post by anne12 on Oct 24, 2021 0:37:18 GMT
Acupressure for greater self-love
Some acupressure points on the heart meridian that you can use as your self-love practice There are three points:
Heart 7: Helps regulate the psyche - reduces anxiety, stress, depression and panic
Heart 4: Also has a calming effect - good against sleep problems, restlessness, worries and anxiety
Heart 8: Good for calming and against depression and anxiety
There are no rules for how long you should massage as long as it feels nice to you. But 2-5 minutes at each point tends to suit most people. It should not feel uncomfortable. You can press as hard as you want, but it should not feel uncomfortable - it's the body's way of saying no thank you
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Post by anne12 on Oct 25, 2021 12:37:28 GMT
Your self worth shows in your bodyposture
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Post by anne12 on Nov 13, 2021 6:47:14 GMT
Want to be fully seen, appreciated and acknowledged practice:
- imagine yourself in a natural state of being (somewhere comftable, plane clothing ect.)
- now think of someone you find incredibly attractive walking into the room
- take note of how you think this person feels about you
- and how you feel imagining this person looking at you
- fully acknowledge and allow these feelings to come up and be seen
- then do the visualization again but evolving how you are seen and feel each time
In the morning and in the evening, play out this scenario but slightly enhance how your person sees
Keep evolving the vizualization until the person sees you and is immediately magmetised to you
And you feel worthy for that affection
Layla Martin
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Post by anne12 on Nov 18, 2021 5:50:35 GMT
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Post by anne12 on Dec 12, 2021 13:12:34 GMT
Self-Love Exercises
The practice I recommend for building self-love is 5 minutes at dawn and dusk.
That means for 5 minutes when you wake up and 5 minutes when you go to bed, EVERY DAY, you shower yourself with love. The kind of love you’d shower on a beloved newborn baby girl. Seen how sweet humans get with babies? How they fawn over them and adore them? Get that way with yourself. Cuddle yourself, repeat things like “You are so beautiful” over and over again, give yourself little kisses and let them melt you. It might feel stupid at first, but what’s really stupid is wandering around trying to get other people to fill that love-hole for you. It is important to have loving people in your life, but if you rely on them completely, it becomes draining. Healing this takes the same amount of love that you didn’t receive when you were little. The unconditional kind. You have to love yourself that much. You are the only one who can give it to yourself. This doesn’t have to be a ripped-off Hallmark moment that makes you feel lame– make it fresh and fun and alive. Don’t be afraid to laugh at yourself in the process– laughter is great for relationships.
A Wild Woman rebuilds the bridges of love with each part of her body, relentlessly, as an awakened mother unconditionally loves her own child.
Exercise: Love at Dawn and Dusk For 5 minutes right when you wake up, and right when you go to sleep, pour total love and affection onto yourself. This can be: Physical: hugging, stroking and/or massaging yourself lovingly Emotional: feeling a huge surge of love well up inside of you and sending it all over your body Mental: Speak to yourself, you can use affirmations: I love myself, I am totally worthy of love, I am crazy beautiful, etc... Spiritual: Feel how loved and accepted you are by creation because you exist! Note: Love at Dawn and Dusk can bring up some of the scary feelings of really not loving yourself, and sometimes you’re going to feel like you’re faking it. That’s okay…❤️
Layla Martin
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Post by anne12 on Jan 10, 2022 22:51:18 GMT
The 3 focus points for more self-love
1. Self-acceptance = use the paradoxical method of change (just say inside yourself "you (feeling) are allowed to be here right now!" and if resistence also say to this "You are also allowed to be here right now")
2. Gratitude - what you focus on grows: Over the course of the day, feel gratitude just for the little things. Make "Gratitude Diary" . Write 3-5 things each night you are grateful for
3. Make yourself HAPPY - every day! It's not because you MUST be happy, but life is just nicer when we feel joy. Other people also find us more attractive. BUT the main reason to make you happy is that you perceive yourself based on how you treat yourself! When you make yourself happy, you will like yourself more .
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Post by anne12 on Jan 11, 2022 11:47:49 GMT
Comfort, care and love. Do you feel the power of it? And do you give yourself enough of it? A little exercise for more energy and … for life. Hero’s Journey is about using the wisdom available to us in movies, music, books and art. A wisdom that is passed on from person to person. Which helps us go through crises, conflicts and grief. Which reminds us how we can experience the magic of love in its full depth. It is a wisdom that lies right in front of you. This week, it was as if there was a theme that has recurred in my dialogues with course participants, clients, friends, and collaborators. The theme was fear, illness and exhaustion in different variants. That unexpected events had turned the course and the turmoil that ensues in the mind afterwards. When we are there - trapped in illness, sadness and fatigue or suddenly standing in some event that has shaken us to the foundation, then there is a cure. A cure that we as adults take far too rarely. Care. Love. Comfort. The power of this is enormous. Maybe you need to feel that power? To receive it. If you feel like it, you could, for example, lie down on a soft sofa. Take a warm blanket over you and listen to this song. Read the text. And just fill yourself with love and self-care. If you feel discouragement, sadness or self-blame, then just comfort yourself. As you would comfort a small child. No verdict. No future thoughts. Just comfort. Keep going until you are full. Perhaps you will be amazed at how joy and energy come right after. youtu.be/j7rIvi2eKbEConsider the stars "Consider the stars in the sky; Look up and wonder, can you count their number? Consider the stars in the sky; Umbrella to hide in, a dance floor of heaven. Do not be afraid Do not be afraid Consider the stars in the sky; When it is darkest they shine out the brightest Consider the stars in the sky In every anguish, Oh, child take courage Do not be afraid Do not be afraid He who made all of this, and who holds all of this, Holds you in his hands Do not be afraid Do not be afraid Consider the stars in the sky; Diamond in a ring. Over the Child King. Consider the stars in the sky; Grace He had promised, coming to find us Do not be afraid Do not be afraid He who made all of this, says "You're worth more than this, " And holds you in his hands" Songwriters: Fionan De Barra / Keith Getty / Kristyn Getty A heroes journey teascher ❤️
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Post by anne12 on Feb 5, 2022 10:40:26 GMT
The body perishes, but the soul persists. True beauty and love are seen in our eyes. The path to the soul and to love goes through your eyes.
Self-love exercise❤️ Look at yourself in the mirror and say… I love you. I love you. I love you. Then notice that you are taking a deep breath. A sign that your heart has opened to love. An open heart sees the beauty in yourself. See the beauty in others. An open heart does not see wrinkles or decay. The ego does Remember. You do not get younger, for every day. But you will be more wise! And remember you are not your body.
You are love❤️❤️❤️
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Post by anne12 on Feb 23, 2022 5:38:31 GMT
How does low selfworth occur?
When I dive in and look at the background of the low selfworth that is expressed in my clients, it often extends all the way back to childhood experiences. I see it both expressed bodily and / or as mental patterns. Typically, low selfworth grows out of a perception of feeling less worth in relation to some close relationships. An example might be a child who is repeatedly rejected when he or she needs support or comfort. Mom or dad has something to fix which is more important. They have to pick up cigarettes at the tank, talk on the phone or something else. Ie. a pattern in which the close relationship constantly has a need that is more important than the child's needs. I also see it with screens today. Children can not distinguish and they will try to sense themselves in the adult. If they are constantly met by absence or distance because the screen takes the attention, then the child will find that it is more important than the child's needs
Basically, that type of mental absence can create fertile ground for a feeling that there is something else that is fundamentally more important than me. When a child feels an absence in his close relationships because something else is more important, then the child will also experience that there is something else that is more important for the close relationship than the child's needs. This means that an awareness can be created in the child that it is worth less. The low selfworth grows out of an absence of care.
What can prevent low selfworth. Studies of children show that many forms of absence or deficiencies in relation to the child's needs can lead to low selfworth. It may be in children who have not been seen or where the parents' needs constantly come before the children's. On the other hand, you also see that sometimes it takes very little to tip the balance the other way. It may be an adult in the child's life who shows the child recognition, looks through the low selfworth, and says; "you are good enough". If just one adult meets the child with presence and recognition, it may be the small but crucial difference that makes the child move on and have a meaningful life. A pervasive failure of care can sometimes be saved in the encounter with a single human being. As an adult, the child in question will still have to struggle with his or her loss, but they are able to move on and have a good life in spite - a life that is connected.
Low selfworth has a physical expression Low selfworth has some physical structures and mental complexes on which we can recognize them. It can settle in your throat like a lump or a constriction that prevents you from saying it out loud whats on your mind It can also be a feeling of not being able to remember your childhood or not being in touch with yourself and your body. A basic feeling of low selfworth can trigger strong reactions when others overstep the boundaries you have set. An experience that no one hears you no matter how loud you shout can turn into desperation. In some it is expressed as anger, in others as anxiety. It can also lead to collapse or a giving up behavior. "Why should I do anything about it, there is still no one who hears or sees me". It can also develop into grief if the low selfworth has arisen because one has lost touch with a close relationship. This can be both in relation to physical absence (eg death) and mental absence (care failure). Then it can settle, like a feeling of having a heavy stone in the stomach or something unresolved tightening around the solar plexus.
How to process low selfworth When we as body therapists have to release these traumas, it is about getting back to the point, the feeling or sensation that was stored when the pattern of low selfworth was established. Sometimes it can be a concrete event or a trauma that creates the feeling of low selfworth. Other times a consistent absence throughout adolescence. When we have to help clients, and especially children who have experienced losing contact with a loved one, we need to understand on an emotional level
It can be difficult to meet your client in a feeling such as grief, because we as a therapist have to go in and feel our own grief. Everyone knows about grief, and about losing. Not only in relation to others but also in relation to ourselves. We can also lose something in ourselves or compromise with ourselves. It is painful and therefore we avoid that feeling. However, it is important that we know about the grief in ourselves, in order to be able to help a client who is in grief. When we as therapists meet our clients in the grief that has helped to create low selfworth, we also have the opportunity to help and release
An inner child expert, a body therapist
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Post by anne12 on Apr 27, 2022 6:10:57 GMT
A tip here and now, to practice positive self talk, is that you:
# 1 - Find 3-5 sentences that start like this “I am .... “ Because everything you put after the 2 words will create your experience. It can look like this ....
I am willing to talk with care to and about myself I am a loving and warm woman/man who wants the best for myself and others I am ready to act selfloving I am a woman/man who is willing to love myself more, in action and words.
NOTE. Avoid the word "not" in your sentences . Your subconscious doesn't hear/doesn’t understand the word NOT!!! So sentences like
I'm not wrong I'm not weak I'm not selfish etc.
will have the opposite effect.
# 2 - Say them to yourself at least 5 times a day, preferably more, and preferably in front of a mirror. The more often you do it the better it works.
I myself said my sentences many times a day, in all sorts of places. In the bath when I went for a walk, drove a car, etc. This is a simple exercise in whether to program your mindset.
It works, but only if you participate ...
A selfworth love coach
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Post by anne12 on Jul 23, 2022 8:36:32 GMT
jebkinnisonforum.com/thread/3490/fullbody-gratitude-exerciseGratitude What are you grateful for? Making a gratitude diary can be good, writing 5 things down that you are gratefull for each day and celebrate But this only helps you on one level - the cognitive level A full body gratitude exercise is recommended. as it works on a deeper level 1) Think of something you are grateful for - something you admire about yourself 2) Feel it in your body (sensations) 3) Take it into your heart ❤️, put a hand on your heart and really feel it in your heart 4) Let it spread from your heart into your whole body - breath into your heart, and breath out and let it expand into the rest of your body 5) You can be gratefull for the tiniest things - that you have a place to live, that you are able to breathe, that you live a safe part of the world, that the weather is beauty full, that you are able to move ect. 6) This exercise helps you to feel more love for yourself and for other people 7) Do this exercise every day for a longer period of time After you have practiced this exercise over a longer period of time, your system/your body will do it automatically by itself An attatchment, SE, love coach
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Post by anne12 on Nov 21, 2022 18:29:43 GMT
jebkinnisonforum.com/post/49350/Layla Martin - be aware of who you are influenced by as a woman on social media - choose someone who is embodied Layla gives some suggestions on who to follow - www.instagram.com/reel/ClM0Sbnu_j9/?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=instagram.com/mynameisjessamyn?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y= instagram.com/celestebarber?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y= instagram.com/mamagena?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y= instagram.com/itsmekellieb?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y= instagram.com/tessholliday?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y= instagram.com/lizzobeeating?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=
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