Post by Deleted on Feb 12, 2019 4:40:09 GMT
I am wondering if you can help a fellow insecure out, by sharing your favorite resources for FA style.
Anxious resources will be appreciated also.
I have information on DA that I find helpful to me, and a therapist.
However, I cannot tell with an "inside eye" what resources are truly helpful for the other styles.
I ask because my ex is interested. I have asked for 30 days more no contact so that I can take care of my emotions and processes and get what insight I can into myself in that relationship. Where I missed.
I had a conversation with him when he asked for friendship after the break, we spoke last night. I asked him what is most important to him in a relationship. He said, Loyalty. I said, that is the most important to me also. We failed to supply that to each other, in spite of our best intentions. Each of us should ask ourselves, what is it inside of us individually, that prevents us from BEING as loyal as we would like?
He said, that's a good question. He didn't know an answer, so I suggested the answer, Fear. He is not accustomed to naming his fear, he is in a job that entails tactical equipment and weaponry. His fear is not on the tip of his tongue; but when I pointed it out he saw it.
In our dynamic, all insecure attachment, fear prevents loyalty. To ourselves, to others. Both ways.
He is unaware of attachment style, I am aware and well along my path. I offered the information for him to help him understand himself and his conflicts, and he wants to take the test. I shared the DPHeller test, and let him know if he wants further resources for his result, I would try to pass some along.
So if you don't mind sharing some links helpful to your style, I'm sure it would be well received. He's really hurting and I cannot help because I cannot be objective and I have to heal. But I wish all insecure people could discover it, and because he is looking for answers, I want to share.
Thank you in advance. I am going to stay in my lane and keep working hard at my DA stuff, and appreciate your input if you have some to pass along indirectly to him, through me. He is hurting. I am too, breakups are hard and involve layers and phases. I want to keep growing, so much.
Ugh, I wish we all had an easier road, I do.
Anxious resources will be appreciated also.
I have information on DA that I find helpful to me, and a therapist.
However, I cannot tell with an "inside eye" what resources are truly helpful for the other styles.
I ask because my ex is interested. I have asked for 30 days more no contact so that I can take care of my emotions and processes and get what insight I can into myself in that relationship. Where I missed.
I had a conversation with him when he asked for friendship after the break, we spoke last night. I asked him what is most important to him in a relationship. He said, Loyalty. I said, that is the most important to me also. We failed to supply that to each other, in spite of our best intentions. Each of us should ask ourselves, what is it inside of us individually, that prevents us from BEING as loyal as we would like?
He said, that's a good question. He didn't know an answer, so I suggested the answer, Fear. He is not accustomed to naming his fear, he is in a job that entails tactical equipment and weaponry. His fear is not on the tip of his tongue; but when I pointed it out he saw it.
In our dynamic, all insecure attachment, fear prevents loyalty. To ourselves, to others. Both ways.
He is unaware of attachment style, I am aware and well along my path. I offered the information for him to help him understand himself and his conflicts, and he wants to take the test. I shared the DPHeller test, and let him know if he wants further resources for his result, I would try to pass some along.
So if you don't mind sharing some links helpful to your style, I'm sure it would be well received. He's really hurting and I cannot help because I cannot be objective and I have to heal. But I wish all insecure people could discover it, and because he is looking for answers, I want to share.
Thank you in advance. I am going to stay in my lane and keep working hard at my DA stuff, and appreciate your input if you have some to pass along indirectly to him, through me. He is hurting. I am too, breakups are hard and involve layers and phases. I want to keep growing, so much.
Ugh, I wish we all had an easier road, I do.
Love her channel! I’d recommend to anyone trying to learn about attachment to explore her channel.