Post by lovebunny on Mar 2, 2019 13:26:38 GMT
I find the feeling of waiting up for someone almost unbearably uncomfortable.
I wonder if it isn't a trigger, my ex husband was a chef who worked late, then would often go out after for drinks and drugs to "unwind." How I hated laying in bed, waiting to hear his key in the door, sometimes blowing up his phone until 3 am. Ugh. A couple of times, in the middle of the night, I got in a cab, went to his favorite after-hours bar, and dragged him home. Our fights after such nights were brutal.
My current romantic partner is female FA. She's nothing like my ex husband, but waiting up for anyone creates anxiety for me. Last night was such an evening. She's 12 years younger than me, and much more social. So she was meeting a friend for what she said would be just one drink, she asked me to wait to have dinner so we could eat together. Then one drink turned into two, she texted me to go ahead and eat. I was starting to get a little anxious, but I had wine, food, and a show I wanted to watch, so ok. Then, two drinks became three. I started to get frustrated. I'd been invited to a party I could've gone to, but I was more interested in waiting for her to come over and maybe watch a movie with me, because of course, I want to be with her, not other people. By the time I realized she wasn't coming over until after 10pm, I was sleepy and lonely and no longer interested in socializing with her or anyone else.
I texted her that she should just go to her own apartment, I'd catch her tomorrow. I just didn't want to deal with the feeling of "waiting up," and didn't want to reward her with my warm body for being insensitive (which I kind of thought she was being a little.) She got pissy about that, she loves going to sleep together, but I gave her a firm no. I went to bed early, had horrible dreams, then texted her a nice note this morning telling her I missed her, have a great day, to which she responded in kind.
That feeling of sitting at home waiting to hear her car pull in.....it makes my skin crawl. I feel powerless. I'd rather just have her not come over at all then have to wait, and wait, and wait. Anybody have tips for dealing?