Tonight I was given the opportunity to again observe my feelings and I realize that I turned every single encounter B had with another girl into a competition...it is still my default reaction...contact equals interest. I spent so much time befriending every single girl he would talk with or like posts of on Facebook. I feel there is a really good opportunity here for me to delve into this...and I was typing..there were tears, my jaw clenched...so this is deep and painful. I am not sure if it was competing with my brothers for my mom’s attention or competing with my stepsister for my dad’s attention. I feel like if I can get to the root of this competition aspect...then maybe I can be a bit more free.