So, I'm curious if anyone is in the dating stage, not yet in a relationship, and the other person is avoidant. He gives me some affectionate gestures but sometimes pull back like grabs to hold my hand but lets it go, or wants to touch my hair but stop. Is it okay for me to do that to him instead? Like touch him more? I've never touched him, so far it's always been him doing the touching e.g grabbing my shoulder, give me a half baked hug etc.
I am just so DONE with waiting to meet a secure, I've NEVER met a secure who is single, I really like this avoidant and we're both in therapy and a support group. Also, can I use the words suggested in "Attached" book my Levine like saying, "I want to be closer to you, I'd like you to spend more time with me" or that will just really drive him away more?
I'm 36.5 years old. At this point, I don't even look for emotional intimacy, but just to be able to be with this guy in a committed r'ship? Or maybe I should ACT secure to him? How does that look like? Talk about my feelings? Initiate the touch?