Vulnerable Narcissists- Anxious and afraid of abandonment
Aug 30, 2019 3:04:48 GMT
averyleigh and serenity like this
Post by Deleted on Aug 30, 2019 3:04:48 GMT
An article describing the difference between a grandiose and a vulnerable narcissist. Grandiose will be more avoidant, Vulnerable more anxious.
My therapist has explained that as an avoidant woman, I would potentially be a target for vulnerable narcissists of the more anxiously attached variety. Indeed, that has been the case. Not all relationships, but I have encountered vulnerable narcissistic men. It's horrible.
I may collect a few articles here on the topic, for awareness and as a resource to other DA who may have encountered this problem.
I was able to extricate myself and abandon the narc. Thank goodness.
Reading about narcissistic abuse and its effects on a partner has been pretty hard for me to relate to in some regards, it seems that a lot of the material addressing this issue is written with the AvoidantNarc/AnxiousVictim perspective.
It's been quite different for me although also difficult- I didn't get triggered by the narcissistic behavior in the anxious pattern of feeling abandoned, doubting my self worth, wondering what I did wrong, trying to placate, trying to fix heal and help. Rather, I became furious and disgusted by the childish, self centered tantrums and outrageous accusations. I felt that the vulnerable narcissist was weak, pathetic and offensive and way out of line. I refused to participate with their madness and so further provoked them, as a reaction is what they were after.
It was a disaster and once I was able to extricate my life from his (shared resources) I'm thankful that I was able to shut him down with the threat of legal consequences should be continue his attempts to punish and control me. What a nightmare.
Anyway, here is the link with a general description. I might add some more resources.
www.google.com/amp/s/theconversation.com/amp/narcissism-and-the-various-ways-it-can-lead-to-domestically-abusive-relationships-116909
My therapist has explained that as an avoidant woman, I would potentially be a target for vulnerable narcissists of the more anxiously attached variety. Indeed, that has been the case. Not all relationships, but I have encountered vulnerable narcissistic men. It's horrible.
I may collect a few articles here on the topic, for awareness and as a resource to other DA who may have encountered this problem.
I was able to extricate myself and abandon the narc. Thank goodness.
Reading about narcissistic abuse and its effects on a partner has been pretty hard for me to relate to in some regards, it seems that a lot of the material addressing this issue is written with the AvoidantNarc/AnxiousVictim perspective.
It's been quite different for me although also difficult- I didn't get triggered by the narcissistic behavior in the anxious pattern of feeling abandoned, doubting my self worth, wondering what I did wrong, trying to placate, trying to fix heal and help. Rather, I became furious and disgusted by the childish, self centered tantrums and outrageous accusations. I felt that the vulnerable narcissist was weak, pathetic and offensive and way out of line. I refused to participate with their madness and so further provoked them, as a reaction is what they were after.
It was a disaster and once I was able to extricate my life from his (shared resources) I'm thankful that I was able to shut him down with the threat of legal consequences should be continue his attempts to punish and control me. What a nightmare.
Anyway, here is the link with a general description. I might add some more resources.
www.google.com/amp/s/theconversation.com/amp/narcissism-and-the-various-ways-it-can-lead-to-domestically-abusive-relationships-116909