Any advice on how to approach attachment styles to romantic partner who has done no work on themselves, ever? I have been in therapy for most of my life and I also have ramped up the dealing with attachment styles in my therapy. Any advice on how to approach it with a Fearful Avoidant?
When we are together we are as close to being secure as I have known in the past being in a secure relationship - we are open, affectionate, have great sex, share. It's when we are apart that I feel like we really disconnect. I leave him alone mostly and let him reach out to me, but I would like our patterns to eventually change to a more secure pattern, and of course, I know he would need a lot of time to digest all this information. Any tips would be appreciated, thanks!
This is my current stance: does he want to change or improve things? If he does not, then I'd leave him alone - either take it as it is or leave him. If I stay, I would share with him also my own experiences, insights, and learnings about myself from therapy and ask him what he thinks, and see how he reacts to it. Any sign of resistance and rejection of these discussions will be a huge red flag for me. I would also just ask him if he feels disconnected when we are apart, and have a discussion around that first, before talking about attachment styles.