Post by anne12 on Feb 6, 2024 5:00:28 GMT
Why did you “Fall in love” with her ?
Why you will never Fall in love with the wrong person
jebkinnisonforum.com/post/29255/
Why do we Fall in love - different perspectives
Different perspectives on why we fall in love:
Imago
Past life
Biological reasons - (Ensure the survival of the species - a man who can provide support and money - a women who can give birth to healthy children)
You did something together that made your nerveussystem feel danger/ in high arousel - the experiment with the suspesion brigde - www.youtube.com/watch?app=desktop&v=P0aMEkGlcQE - Arthur Aron
You need a revolution in your life - Fransesco Albaroni
We seek a symbiotic relationship, just as the one you had with your mother when you were nurcing, to get your tank filled up from what you did not get enough of in the symbiotic phase with your mother - typical for people with some ap attatchmentstyle (unconsious)
The karma theory - we will live more lives than one, as we have some karma, we need get completed from previous lives
Status
Imago
You fall in love with your inner gold - (Inner Gold by Robert A. Johnson). This theory reminds of the imago theory, but is more positive - it focuses on your inner gold and your potentiels.
We got the same level of education
We come from the same background
We have a twin soul
You project your inner unconscious anima / animus onto the other person - this means that you do not see the other person, as the other really is jebkinnisonforum.com/post/40438/ - jebkinnisonforum.com/post/40434/
jebkinnisonforum.com/post/40434/
Crushing love (lasts a few days to up to one year) - dopamine and norepinephrine are released, romantic love lasts 4-5 years, friendly love - maybe the rest of your life
We complement eachother
We come from the same background and got the same level of education ect
Pheromones
You are as a woman attracted to different types of men depending where you as a woman are in your menstratual cycle
You are attracted to different types of men weather you as a woman are on the pill or not
It only takes a fifth of a second to activate the 12 brain areas that make you fall in love.
The old brain is designed so that we quickly read each other, when we meet a stranger. We know during the moments most about the other person, at least at the unconscious level. At this primitive level: friend or enemy.
Primitive or not, this part of us is terribly good at selecting other people who matches our often unconscious patterns.
Then this old brain is at stake. It is programmed to select and make you fall in love with just the kind of men / women who can restore your childhood psychical environment for good and bad.
The person can remind you of your mother and father. Not on the persons appearance and at first not on the persons behavior. Only later in the relationship the negative similarities emerge.
But the old brain registrates this quickly. The more in love/the more crush/the more sexual attraction - the greater the challenges will be later in the relationship.
Imago's explanation of love: The ultra-short version is:
We fall in love with one who can restore our childhoods mental environment on the good and bad. Where the negative gives the sparks and sexual attraction.
This is because the love template is in the old part of the brain. This part of the brain is extremely primitive in relation to neocortex, where reason and conscious thoughts emerge! The old part of the brain does not operate with chronological time, but sees everything as being right now.
Therefore, if you meet a person who reminds you of someone you know or have known, then it will confuse the person with this one. You will then feel safe or unsafe, comfortable or uncomfortable, etc.
At the same time, this person whom you fall in love with has sides that you have repressed and lack to accept and / or develop yourself. That is, compensatory sides that makes the other different from yourself. If you are outgoing, you may fall in love with someone who is quieter and introverted. It gives you a feeling of being whole.
Later in the relationship, these sides of the other person you fall in love with can be exactly the sides that bothers you the most.
Put another way: The more a person potentially is able to give you the same kind of feelings that you experienced in childhood, the more in love you become!
Unfortunately, especially the negative emotions give attraction. I could also say it like this: "The more in love/t he bigger crush/the more sexual attraction - the more difficult problems later in the relationship".
As a woman you project your inner animus onto your partner. As a man you project your inner anima onto your partner.
Why you will never Fall in love with the wrong person
jebkinnisonforum.com/post/29255/
Why do we Fall in love - different perspectives
Different perspectives on why we fall in love:
Imago
Past life
Biological reasons - (Ensure the survival of the species - a man who can provide support and money - a women who can give birth to healthy children)
You did something together that made your nerveussystem feel danger/ in high arousel - the experiment with the suspesion brigde - www.youtube.com/watch?app=desktop&v=P0aMEkGlcQE - Arthur Aron
You need a revolution in your life - Fransesco Albaroni
We seek a symbiotic relationship, just as the one you had with your mother when you were nurcing, to get your tank filled up from what you did not get enough of in the symbiotic phase with your mother - typical for people with some ap attatchmentstyle (unconsious)
The karma theory - we will live more lives than one, as we have some karma, we need get completed from previous lives
Status
Imago
You fall in love with your inner gold - (Inner Gold by Robert A. Johnson). This theory reminds of the imago theory, but is more positive - it focuses on your inner gold and your potentiels.
We got the same level of education
We come from the same background
We have a twin soul
You project your inner unconscious anima / animus onto the other person - this means that you do not see the other person, as the other really is jebkinnisonforum.com/post/40438/ - jebkinnisonforum.com/post/40434/
jebkinnisonforum.com/post/40434/
Crushing love (lasts a few days to up to one year) - dopamine and norepinephrine are released, romantic love lasts 4-5 years, friendly love - maybe the rest of your life
We complement eachother
We come from the same background and got the same level of education ect
Pheromones
You are as a woman attracted to different types of men depending where you as a woman are in your menstratual cycle
You are attracted to different types of men weather you as a woman are on the pill or not
It only takes a fifth of a second to activate the 12 brain areas that make you fall in love.
The old brain is designed so that we quickly read each other, when we meet a stranger. We know during the moments most about the other person, at least at the unconscious level. At this primitive level: friend or enemy.
Primitive or not, this part of us is terribly good at selecting other people who matches our often unconscious patterns.
Then this old brain is at stake. It is programmed to select and make you fall in love with just the kind of men / women who can restore your childhood psychical environment for good and bad.
The person can remind you of your mother and father. Not on the persons appearance and at first not on the persons behavior. Only later in the relationship the negative similarities emerge.
But the old brain registrates this quickly. The more in love/the more crush/the more sexual attraction - the greater the challenges will be later in the relationship.
Imago's explanation of love: The ultra-short version is:
We fall in love with one who can restore our childhoods mental environment on the good and bad. Where the negative gives the sparks and sexual attraction.
This is because the love template is in the old part of the brain. This part of the brain is extremely primitive in relation to neocortex, where reason and conscious thoughts emerge! The old part of the brain does not operate with chronological time, but sees everything as being right now.
Therefore, if you meet a person who reminds you of someone you know or have known, then it will confuse the person with this one. You will then feel safe or unsafe, comfortable or uncomfortable, etc.
At the same time, this person whom you fall in love with has sides that you have repressed and lack to accept and / or develop yourself. That is, compensatory sides that makes the other different from yourself. If you are outgoing, you may fall in love with someone who is quieter and introverted. It gives you a feeling of being whole.
Later in the relationship, these sides of the other person you fall in love with can be exactly the sides that bothers you the most.
Put another way: The more a person potentially is able to give you the same kind of feelings that you experienced in childhood, the more in love you become!
Unfortunately, especially the negative emotions give attraction. I could also say it like this: "The more in love/t he bigger crush/the more sexual attraction - the more difficult problems later in the relationship".
As a woman you project your inner animus onto your partner. As a man you project your inner anima onto your partner.
..... 
