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Post by Deleted on Jan 31, 2018 13:14:00 GMT
This thread is for avoidants to explore what qualities they look for in a romantic partner. This is useful to investigate, as it keeps our values and priorities in front of us as we navigate the end or beginning of a relationship. Some of us have no desire currently to enter into a relationship, but still, examining what we look for in a partner can call things forward for us to look at and either validate them or throw them out, according to whether or not those things serve our further growth and happiness. I will return to the thread after some reflection. Thanks in advance to all avoidants who share here and all who support us by letting us feel this out amongst ourselves for everyone’s benefit.  |
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Post by Deleted on Jan 31, 2018 13:19:06 GMT
Mary, the other thread in the FA forum (I don’t understand ) addressed the difference between needing space or needing to not soothe and reassure a partner, i would like to go into that a little bit and am reminding myself here.
Its about autonomy, emotional stability, self confidence, trust, openness to the relationship itself and growth, and other things.
If those things are lacking i cannot participate. This is because i have become healthy over time with a lot of work. I would like to describe all that in a bit on this thread.
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Post by yasmin on Jan 31, 2018 20:28:57 GMT
For me the big dealbreakers are allowing me space, not grilling me, allowing me privacy, not trying to move too quickly to commitment in a "life sense". And they must be self reliant in a practical sense. I don't mind giving emotional support but can't stand someone needing me for basic adult functions.
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Post by yasmin on Jan 31, 2018 20:32:22 GMT
I just realised I replied to the wrong thread! I am much better and knowing what turns me off than I am at quantifying what I want. I need to work on that question .
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Post by tgat guest on Jan 31, 2018 22:08:59 GMT
If you can make any sence of it you can meet your new partner under the secure section please move this post it is off topic thank you |
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Post by Deleted on Jan 31, 2018 22:17:53 GMT
thank you so much anne!
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Post by goldilocks on Feb 10, 2018 18:22:44 GMT
With a partner, I'd like to:
Share fun activities.
Have shared goals and values.
Enjoy intellectual discussion.
Discover and please each other sexually.
Let the relationship be is vehicle for mutual personal growth.
Show kindsness to each other.
Seek to understand and admire each other.
Respect each other's freedom.
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Post by Deleted on Feb 11, 2018 14:37:45 GMT
one of the most important qualities for me is a partner who is interested in his own personal and spiritual growth and considers that a priority.
Living life as a human doing human things (including hot sex) is all an arena to explore and understand and express who we are as SPIRITUAL beings, from my perspective.
A spiritual perspective is the only way to navigate this life of uncertainly and suffering in a peaceful and positive way, as i see it. It’s true for me, and doesn’t have to be true for you, but i need that to be true for my partner in order to be able to put both feet in.
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