Share your small successes thread

Juniper, I hope you have a fun dinner with your friend! Go you with trying new social things.

i became aware of some negative feelings during an exchange with someone close to me, and my response was to use humor to disparage myself. :/

That's not the small success obviously.

It hurt me to do that, and i compounded the original hurt i felt that i was trying to minimize.
The small success was, i recognized what i did and wasn't comfortable with it. and i recognized it as an indication that i need to address something.

i addressed the insult i made to myself, by telling the person that i was uncomfortable with how i spoke about myself and that i wouldn't be doing that again. This person knows i am working on myself so didn't let that be awkward.

I didn't address the original ouch because that is internal to me and didn't originate with the other person.

I recognize what the original problem was and it also is rooted in something that i allowed and participated in that wasn't good for me. I have a new awareness of something i need to adjust in order to have a right relationship with myself, so i do not continue the internal conflict i have been creating with the disparity of how i feel inside vs. how i was behaving outwardly.

I'm not sure exactly how i will address the change i need to make in this particular dynamic, but the fact that i see it and am not willing to avoid it to my detriment, is a success.

I was not aware of how i was hurting myself with my own behavior and attitude toward myself, but now, I am. it's good.

it was with a trustworthy person so that's good.
it was an incredibly vulnerable moment because i was acutely aware of everything but it worked out goods
darn feels.

Small success - but perhaps the avoidants on here will empathise.... I am hardly ever attracted to anyone - and will tend to avoid advances from men (I am heterosexual female)> I also have a real tendency to isolate myself, particularly when under stress.

Life at the moment is so busy, full of children, work, Easter holidays, building project ad infinitum. The single father of some of my kids friends came to pick the up and obviously felt like talking - my usual response would be to politely move him on asap but instead we had a beer, sat and talked without me being distracted, he invited me out later next week and I said yes. He's a nice guy - maybe not the right guy for me, but he's present, kind, interested and interesting. I found myself coming up with a million reasons to say no, but in the spirit of making changes, I said yes - we had a good couple of hours and it's fun to connect.

I can't believe that for most people this would even be worth recognising as an achievement but for me, it means a tiny positive step.

Goldilocks and Ocarina, thanks for sharing!

I'll post another one. I keep using my phone as a form of escapism from those around me, so I deleted a bunch of the apps including Facebook and Messenger so that my phone would be boring. Let's see how long I keep them off I'm also going to stop keeping my phone in my pocket and put it up on a dresser when I'm home.