please help me with perspective , secures and AP's :)

as you may have read, i am embarking on what feels like a really good mutually efforted and very enjoyable relationship, with a secure/ap leaning man.

very soon into this involvement i have become very ill with a peritonisllar abcess which is serious, even life threatening- and after seeking treatment a couple times at urgent care i was finally admitted to the ER for the largest abcess they have seen- i was in excruciating pain and very sick.  i posted through that on narcotics lol.  but i think what i said was on point.

this man has been wonderful to me, sensitive and caring and also respectful of what i have shared about my own journey through dismissive attachment.  i am thankful! i am happy.

i am a little bit triggered . it will seem like no big deal, perhaps.  but it has signaled a protection mechanism in me , reminding me i think inappropriately of some very hard interactions from very unhealthy previous partners.

i would appreciate some talking down.  or just honest advice.

i have been incapacitated, and he took me into his home to care for me as i recover from the abcess, continuing infection, and resultant lack of sleep and narcotic use.  i feel terrible and while i don't have pain from abcess, i have incisional pain, headache, and am still suffering drenching night sweats that are multiiple times a night and miserable.

ive been mostly happy, but i am feeling down and worn out.  i feel like a burden.  my period started last night and my back aches.  i feel vulnerable and incapable. he's been taking care of my kids providing food, and rides to school.  i know it's a lot die early on in a relationship but it happened this way and i simply don't know what i would have done without him.  i don't.  i'm strong but not that strong incessantly.

heres my stupid problem.  i was in my phone this morning trying to distract myself and communicate in this forum, and also with some clients. 
he was busy taking care of my awful pile of soaked sheets and getting the kids to school.  he was fine with it, and not acting stressed.

then he said " i'm having a hard time understanding the phone thing."  referring to my use of phone first thing and actually quite a bit since i've been sick.but mostly when he is doing other things.

we had had a conversation a day or so ago about mutually wanting to unplug a little in general, as phones take up so much space in a room, figuratively.  but i felt a need to justify my involvement with my phone and as you know, that's hard for a dismissive who is used to being completely autonomous and indeed, spending much more time alone to do my own thing than i have been of late.

he wasn't rude at all, but i bristled. internally. i just explained that i didn't feel good, had some communicating i want to do, and that i would need him to be patient for that as i have felt knocked down and wanted to read and do what i felt i needed to do at the moment.

he replied with a sense of humor and snuggled me but i just feel triggered, like- what if he becomes resentful and controlling? what if he is jealous and thinks i am texting some other guy? well i know what i would do, i would try to communicate. but internally my wall went up a little.

i'm sure that i'm just feeling awful in a lot of ways, and i'm not my best self. i can't tell if this is a bad thing or what. i'm overblowing it.

he hasn't been overbearing, he's been a soldier for helping me. i think this is my issue, and i'm trying not to deactivate. we don't have a long term relationship where we know all these ins and outs with each other, we are learning, and in an intense and unusual scenario with me having had this horrible ordeal.

i just feel totally out of my element and out of control of my life and responsibilities, i feel dependent. and this tiny comment made me feel a little trapped.

i'm just trying to keep myself from spinning out and i feel a little silly for sharing it but i'm just trying to do my best to keep growing. i do get confused about what's normal. help me.