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Post by faithopelove on Jan 31, 2019 3:03:05 GMT
I cracked out the popcorn when this provocative post came up. My view is that if each gender wants to be regarded equally, this old fashioned rubbish needs to go out the window. This is 2019, not 1949. If a woman presented to me as delicate, or a princess, I would move right along, and I have in the past. Competency and power is extremely enticing to me. I need something to respect. The vestiges of the past are still there in that I have to initiate. I have to follow up. I have to make plans. Otherwise, a woman will just go along to the next suitor. That’s the consistent reality. If I could give my 18 year old self some advice, it would be to have a developed sense of self, to treat everyone with equal respect and if they don’t like you, rejection is God’s protection. I’m not a religious man, but I just couldn’t deal with the rejection so I put myself in situations that really didn’t suit me, and couldn’t get out. Cracked out the popcorn Lol Ironically I sit here eating it now! |
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Post by happyidiot on Jan 31, 2019 4:30:25 GMT
I think either you are mistaken and making an assumption based on a tiny sample size, or you are putting imaginary hyperbolic words into the mouths of the subscribers of the type of "let the man take the lead" dating tips/blogs/books that have a mostly AP heterosexual female audience who are really just trying to learn how to stop chasing and smothering avoidant men (and probably some secure men) and learn how to attract men who are actually interested in them. The idea is that these readers are used to choosing the wrong men, chasing hard after men and pushing them away, doing everything for them etc, and so to hopefully have them end up somewhere more balanced they have to be told extreme advice like always let the man be the one to initiate everything since they probably aren't going to be actually capable of doing that and might end up somewhere satisfactory at least.
Some may be trying to teach these women to have more self-worth, but none of them are saying, “Women should be worshipped and are inherently more valuable just because of their different genitalia" - those sound like the words of a bitter resentful man assuming what women think, not a woman.
An additional thought: equality does not mean sameness. A standard heterosexual masculine-energy man is different from a standard feminine-energy heterosexual woman, due to both nature and nurture. Of course there are many people who don't fit into those boxes and that's cool. But men and women being of equal value doesn't mean women have to act like men.
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Post by 8675309 on Jan 31, 2019 12:21:53 GMT
Im in the boat of 50/50. We should mutually chase each other, we mutually buy each other dinner, etc. While I like a man to take more of the lead in beginning stages he doesn't always need to lead, again its 50/50. Men should not have to lead all the time, its not how good healthy relationships work. You both have a say and you should both do for each other, you have each others back.
This is how its been in my relationships with secures, it just naturally flows, mutually 50/50... no doubts, who is feminine, who is masculine, etc it just goes.
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