rae
New Member
Posts: 17
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Post by rae on Jul 21, 2019 3:07:34 GMT
I have been following this forum for a few months now (ever since a DA ended our relationship). I have learned so much and have been exploring my own attachment style. I was wondering if anyone out there only exhibits AP behaviour when having been broken up with or during a fight when your partner is avoiding you. When in a relationship, I am secure (even a little avoidant at times). However as soon as I feel abandoned/rejected (either by being broken up with or being ignored/avoided when a fight arises), I exhibit ALOT of AP behaviour I.e. calling/texting when I should be giving space, ruminating endlessly and idealizing the relationship and refusing to move on. It has been 5 months of no contact and I’m still thinking about him incessantly and cannot imagine myself with anyone else.
Does anyone else experience AP behaviour only when rejected but act very secure during the relationship?
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Post by hannah99 on Jul 21, 2019 14:49:43 GMT
My relationships with my friends and family are secure. With partners I'm mostly secure unless I think I'm being rejected in some way...not replying to messages, canceling plans, etc.. when I'm going through a break up I am really really ap. Like classic signs and symptoms and very intense. I can maintain healthy relationships though.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Jul 21, 2019 15:57:09 GMT
I don't think this is necessarily an AP thing. A lot of secures can identify with this.
It's very common to feel anxious especially when the DA shuts down. As it can take a long time for them to come out of that state.
Very difficult thing to grasp.
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Post by ocarina on Jul 21, 2019 18:58:32 GMT
As an avoidant I sometimes get hung up on past relationships as a form of avoidance of ever having to move on.
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