Hey there. I’m sorry this happened. It sucks. The general consensus in these parts Is strongly against time spent on the victim side of things. I think that’s fair. You played a part, and had you had a healthier handle on your insecurities, the relationship would have either ended or met your needs (which sounds highly unlikely in this case). In order to have a better handle on things in the future, this surely needs to be addressed.
What I do feel that ignores is that someone hurt you deeply. And so callously. That’s certainly not a joy to experience. And it can call so much of your world into question. I half expect the DA to say - you’re welcome- after you become a better person from this experience. That would require them to consider you though. Anyhow, you need to develop empathy for the person who lacked empathy for you. Best of luck, and I’d forget they exist (in terms of ever having contact again).
Anyhow, the high value behavior would be not to use a victim mentality. Take it as an opportunity to grow. That also means being the bigger person. He’s not your problem anymore, and from the sounds of it, you dodged a bullet.
I think that when people's attachment issues are triggered they can lose their empathy (and lets' face it, some people have very little to begin with) and completely not consider or understand the effect they might be having on others. The person might actually not even realize their ghosting is hurting anyone. It might not be that they don't care that you are feeling bad, but that they don't even think you are feeling bad. Sometimes they don't even realize they ghosted. I have actually had someone ghost me for a month, and the unghosting was only a result of us running into each other, and he thought he just took several days to reply to me. He was certain until I pulled out my phone.
Someone I know once said that anyone who ghosts you is doing you a favor.