Post by lilyanna73 on Dec 26, 2019 20:56:27 GMT
Premise: This is a factual account of what happened during our on/off relationship as including all of the emotional parts would have made it much longer... I just want to figure out what I am dealing with here?
Me: 40 (Securely attached but can be triggered to AA under stress) - Was in treatment for 4 years for PTSD. Always been single. Never been in a long term relationship. Quite career focused.
Him: 37 (Not sure? That's why I am asking!) - Has had depression and anxiety in the past. Goes through periods of depression and anxiety. Has had quite a lot of stress. Continues to avoid life by continuing to obtain more master degrees. Over achiever. Owns his own business. Was engaged once but broke it off. Said once he still misses his ex-fiance. Felt abandoned by parents when they moved abroad for 10 years whilst he was at university. Never had any therapy. Father not emotionally available but mother overly affectionate. Spent a lot of time on his own as a child. Never had many friends. Preferred his own company.
He has quite a lot of my things in his house which he has not touched as I saw that when I was there on 21/12. He hasn't asked me to take them back or anything. I still have a key to his place and he still has a key to mine. We are both on each other car insurance.
We have a trip to Budapest booked for February for 6 days and the non-transferable tickets for the music festival in June.
I am sticking to an extended NC and waiting for him to reach out but I want to try to figure out what I am dealing with first!!
Me: 40 (Securely attached but can be triggered to AA under stress) - Was in treatment for 4 years for PTSD. Always been single. Never been in a long term relationship. Quite career focused.
Him: 37 (Not sure? That's why I am asking!) - Has had depression and anxiety in the past. Goes through periods of depression and anxiety. Has had quite a lot of stress. Continues to avoid life by continuing to obtain more master degrees. Over achiever. Owns his own business. Was engaged once but broke it off. Said once he still misses his ex-fiance. Felt abandoned by parents when they moved abroad for 10 years whilst he was at university. Never had any therapy. Father not emotionally available but mother overly affectionate. Spent a lot of time on his own as a child. Never had many friends. Preferred his own company.
April 2017 | 28/04 - First meeting in a bar/club (hooked up that night - thought it was a fling). 3.5 hours distance. He pursued me. I wasn't that interested. He texted frequently and called. |
| May 2017 | 06/05 - 2nd meet up on his initiation and we stayed at his hotel. Frequent texting after and arranged to meet the following weekend at my apt. 13/05 - Drove from a course in another city over 3 hours way to see me and stayed at my place all weekend Plenty of communication (texting & calling) after that he asked about being on a holiday together (end of August 2017). Coordinated to meet up 1st weekend in June. |
| June 2017 | 02/06 - first visit to his place that nearly didn’t happen as he had a STI scare and didn’t want to spread it. He got really negative saying we had to be platonic. The test wasn’t positive so we had a great weekend. Communication still frequent and planned to visit my birthday weekend. 16/06 - Spent birthday weekend with me and bought me a pair of custom made earrings we saw together. Made plans for going to a car festival for 1 July. |
| July 2017 | 01/07 - Picked me up a little drunk from to go to the hotel the night where we stayed the night before car festival. Had a great time there and communication after still good and talked about booking another weekend at end July. 14/07 - Came up to visit me and spent all weekend with me. 28/07 - Went away together for a long weekend I asked if he would come to a friends’ wedding in August but he first voiced that things were now going too fast for him. I was a little pressuring about it and communication did drop a bit as his need for space was first voiced. |
| August 2017 | 04/08 - went to the wedding solo but was in comms with him on text and he was being distant. 13/08 - came to visit me at my place and told me he thought we needed to slow things down and he wasn’t ready. I said I understood. I also got sick that weekend and he took care of me. 18/08 - had a pregnancy scare but was negative. 20/08 - He asked me to go to another festival with him on 26/08 26/08 - went to the festival and got back together over that weekend. Came to see me off to the airport when I left for my tour of Egypt and Jordan at beginning of September . |
| September 2017 | 16/09 - He came to London in the middle of the night as I was disappointed he didn’t meet on my return from my trip. Had a good rest of the weekend and booked to go away together at end October. Still great communication. Made plans for a trip to Morocco at end January. 2018 |
| October 2017 | 06/10 - Went to visit him for the weekend and arranged future dates for October and November. Always premised that he could tell when he didn’t want me too etc. 19/10 - Went to visit him again for long weekend and met his best friend and girlfriend. We all go on really well. 27/10 - Went to Portugal together for 4 days |
| November 2017 | 03/11 - Went to visit him for the weekend which was great Communication still good and I mentioned talked about potential job opportunities closer to him since things were going well. 17/11 - Came to visit me for the weekend and again had a great weekend. 24/11 - Went to his for the weekend when he told me he felt less attracted to me and wasn’t sure about our relationship. He said he thought he should be in love with me by now so he broke up with me. Spent the rest of the weekend trying to rationalise it with him given we had only been back on for a few months being LDR and had only spent a few weekends together. He had just started doing a masters degree on top of running a business full time on his own and a 10+ hour commute each week. |
| December 2017 | Did a bit of NC but it was a limited as he kept texting me, sent me a Xmas card and we agreed to go to Morocco together. as friends Throughout Xmas he carried on texting me. I later found out he was having a rebound with an old flame. |
| January 2018 | 01/01 - rang him tipsy but he didn’t pick him. Spoke to him later that day. He told me he was in Birmingham for NY but I found out later that he lied and he was with the rebound. Went back into NC until 16/01 then did limited no contact before trip to Morocco. 26/01 - went to Morocco for a week. Had a really great time. Found out about the rebound but realised it wasn’t at all serious but just a substitute. Made arrangements for him to stay at mine in February. |
| February 2018 | 08/02 - stayed with me in spare room a couple of nights whilst on a course in my city. Took me out for dinner both nights. Told me he was going 10/02 - told me he was going home after his course but I found out he was going to the rebound as I came across his car somewhere else in my city when I was out with friends there. 11/02 - calls me apologising profusely for lying and told me he would never do it again. Communication continued on a friendly basis texting knowing rebound might still be in the picture. 27/02 - Calls me for the 1st time since the apology the night before he flies to Brazil for 2 weeks. 28/02 - I give him a travel challenge to do whilst he is in Brazil . |
| March 2018 | Communicate the whole month of March through texting whilst in Brazil and on his return. Pretty balanced in terms of initiation. Definitely rapport built. Mentioned I would be going on a yoga retreat on Easter weekend. Invites me to stay with him but explain it is residential. He asks me for lunch on Easter Sunday. |
| April 2018 | 01/04 - Cooks me Easter Sunday dinner despite being up to his eyeballs in coursework for his masters. He told me that he feels our connection and likes me a lot but with the demands of his masters, business expansion, selling us home and moving,replacing staff due to retirement etc he cannot offer time and space for a relationship. Spoke about getting tickets to a concert in August. A little less contact in April but he wanted to help me with some dental issues so offered to book me in as a patient. Started getting interviews locally so offered for me to stay at his place whilst I was in the area. 27/04 - stayed with him all weekend hanging out before interviews on 30/04. We cuddled to keep warm but nothing more. The next morning we went to his dental surgery where he basically examined my teeth and fixed a couple of fillings. He took me out for cocktails and dinner then dancing! We were a little drunk and we even kissed me on the dance floor a few times. |
| May 2018 | Good contact until 13/05 when he called me to say that he didn’t want me deciding to move jobs because of him. I told him that I wasn’t and my world didn’t revolve around him. Last contact was 18/05 and he did respond so I went no contact for 45 days to get over him and have space to make a decision that would impact the rest of my life without him being in the picture. |
| June 2018 | No contact until he reaches out on social media around day 39 donating money to my charity fundraising page. 30/06 - He posts on IG for 1st time in 3.5 years. |
| July 2018 | 01/07 - Starts liking my FB posts 03/07 - I reach out and asks if he can call me 05/07 - we speak before I get on the plane to Tanzania 14/07 - I reached out for medical advice as I got really sick on Kilimanjaro and had to be taken off mountain quicker. 20/07 - Announced my move to a new city on social media. He likes the post but then goes quiet for a week 27/07 - He calls me and we talk about trip and my move. He offers to help and asks me if I am still on for going to the concert on 04/08. I said yes as I am househunting in new city so I will be around. |
| August 2018 | 04/08 - We go to the concert and have a good time. I sleep in the spare room at his place. Less communication in August until bank holiday weekend 25/08 - house-hunting in the new city for which he offers to come and see the houses with me even though a friend of mine is joining me. We end the day having afternoon tea by the lake. |
| September 2018 | Increase in communication as sorted out living arrangements through a friend of his. He was off to Italy on a bike trip so he asked for advice on places to go. |
| October 2018 | 01/10 - He came to help me out moving furniture into my new place and we ended up hanging out all weekend including going out for dinner and drinks with my landlord's parents. We crashed in my new room but only had cuddles. Next day he asked me to go to breakfast and asked if I was ok to drive to his place as he needed help with moving an old sofa. After we did that he said I'll cook you a roast dinner. Whilst he was cooking he said I shouldn't drive home last night and stay to watch a movie with him. We hung out, watched a movie and went to bed. Same bed but no cuddles. He made me breakfast despite being a bit late for work. He still wants me to borrow his car until I buy one and should be free to help me move the rest of my stuff in. 13/10 - He came to help me move into my new place yesterday which included him, getting cash for driver's tip for me, switching on things and teaching me how to use the boiler etc. We went for a late lunch until broadband guy got here and he basically liaised with him for me. Then he went through the house sorting out all the lights that needed new bulbs. He then took me to the supermarket to buy basic supplies and put my TV back together. He decided he was going to stay with me rather than drive an hour home so he took me for dinner at his favourite Indian. We got back and watched a bit of tv then went to bed. We shared a bed but nothing happened but we were both exhausted. In the morning he tried to sort out the router position whilst I cooked breakfast then he left. He said he was going to see if he can put me on his car insurance so I can borrow his car and he got us tickets for a gig in November. 25/10 - He fixes my tooth and we go for dinner afterwards and checks in on me the next day. 27/10 - I ask if he wants to go to a gig on 18/11 which he accepts. Communication is at good levels during the month. Every few days or so. |
| November 2018 | 3/11- He calls me to ask me out for dinner and ends up spending all weekend with me. All platonic. 10/11 - We had arranged to go to a gig. He made us dinner before going to the concert. We had a fun night. He drank so I drove. We slept in the same bed again but nothing happened. There was some flirting in the evening. This morning he took me for brunch as said he had to work in the afternoon. When we got back to his place so I could set off. He basically started saying that he felt like there was something unsaid as we have been spending a lot of time together. He doesn't want to give me the wrong idea as he is not wanting to get into anything with anyone as he is so wrapped up his business expansion and finishing his masters. I said that I have my hands full with the new job so wasn't looking to progress anything. He said he really loves spending time with me but felt like he needed to say this so either of us doesn't get hurt. I said that we were on the same page and then I left. We have tickets for another gig next week and at first I said maybe we shouldn't go but he said he still wanted to. He gave me a big hug and said let me know when you get home. I still have his car. 18/11 - We go to another gig which is fun but nothing happens. He always pays when we go out. Communication levels a bit lower than normal but it’s a busy month for both. 21/11 - I reached out to ask for advice on computers. 29/11 - He reaches out to fit me in to sort out dental fillings. |
| December 2018 | 01/12 - He sorts my fillings out and we go for lunch. He mentions that he needs the car back. 06/12 - I ask him if he is coming to pick his car up on 09/12 and if he is does he want to come to the cinema. 09/12 - We go to the cinema then for food after and he takes his car back. 12/12 - I broke a tooth so text him to fix it and he books me in to see him on 15/12 15/12 - He fixes my tooth and we have lunch after. 22/12 - He texts and calls me to find out when I am leaving for Xmas as he would have come to see me off at the airport. 23/12 and 24/12 - Texts me a few times 25/12 - Wishes me Merry Xmas first thing in the morning - Texts a few times during the day then we ended up speaking for an hour or so. 26/12-31/12 - regular communication via text whilst I’m with family. 31/12 - Reaches out in the evening asking what I am doing. He calls me and tells me he isn’t well and having a major anxiety attack and wants to come to see me. I end up offering to go and see him. We spend NYE together (still platonic). |
| January 2019 | 01/01 - spend the day together and offers to help me buy my first car at weekend.. 05/01 - visit him to go and look at cars. We take one out on a test drive. 06/01 - Help him get hold of an old sofa for the empty house he is living in. Gives me lots of advice about which car to buy. Communication increases again to speaking/texting nearly every day. 14/01 - Loans me money on interim basis to buy a new care 18/01 - Takes me to pick up my new car a dealership and we go for dinner after and I stay over. 19/01 - Asks me to stop by the practice to see the buildings works progress and we go for lunch. He asks me to go to Switzerland with him in June for my 40th birthday. 25/01 - new car had problems so was back at the dealership. I texted him to let him know I had repaid him and was around. He calls and we go for dinner and I stay over. We book flights and car hire for Switzerland in June 2019. |
| February 2019 | Not much communication for first two weeks. Couple of NRs. 12/02 - Reach out for medical advice as in pain so provides advice 14/02 - Doc exam discovers possible mass and referred for ultrasound 15/02 - Have urgent blood tests. Keep him posted 16/02 - Ultrasound reveals ovarian cyst so blood test redone for ovarian cancer. He calls me and I break down upset as might affect chances for having kids. He comes to spend the evening and the next day with me at my place. Increase in communication again over medical stuff, work stuff and more car trouble. Speaking at least every other day more calls than texts. |
| March 2019 | 08/03 - in his town to get car looked at again and he invites me over to his place. I end up staying the weekend working in his flat whilst he goes to the practice. On Sat evening he tells me he has sympathy for my concerns about fertility but he doesn’t see a future with me and he doesn’t think he feels that way about me. He still agrees to come to a charity black tie dinner with me on 14/03. 14/03 - He comes to the black tie dinner. We have a good night and dance. He goes home after and doesn’t stay. 20/03 - 24/03 - fairly regular communication then goes underground again. 31/03 - He calls but I ignore. |
| April 2019 | 02/04 - I acknowledge missed call. 05/04 - He calls multiple times and we eventually catch up as I call back. 07/04 - I complete my RSA Level 1 and text him photo. 10/04 - He texts me about a work thing of mine he sees on BBC News. 11/04 - He asks to meet me for dinner on his way back from his masters days and I ask him if he wants to come to a gig on 14/04 14/04 - He comes to see the concert and we go for food beforehand. I ask if he is around later in the week as my friend is visiting the city where he works and now lives and would be good for him to come to dinner. He says maybe as he has a big implant case that day. 17/04 - He doesn’t make the dinner so I backed off. 20/04 - He texts me nearly every day whilst I am in Prague saying he wishes he was there. I don’t respond much. 25/04 - He tries to call me to catch up after Prague and talk about some work stuff he needs my help with. 28/04 - He calls but I’m not available. |
| May 2019 | 05/05 - I volunteer at the Ciderthon & send a pic. 06/05 - I help him out with some staff contracts. 07/05 - He tries to call about 3 times but I’m not available. 11/05 - I text a pic of lake as doing RYA Level 2 and he texts and asks to meet for food and we go for a walk. He asks me to stay over. 12/05 - I text him to bring me the towel I left at his house which he brings Calls me late that evening but I miss it. 13/05 - Share a link to a podcast recording I was a guest on. 18/05 - I’m booked in to have my crown fitted by him and I’m booked into a B&B locally going with a friend to day spa the next day. He looks shattered and he is camping out so I offer him a night at the B&B. We go out for dinner and we have a few drinks and sleep together for the first time in 18 months. More increase in communication through texts and calls nearly every other day or every few days. |
| June 2019 | Similar levels of communication to May 2019 01/06 - I suspect I’m pregnant but can’t say anything as his final dissertation is due on 16/06. 02/06 - Calls to meet me in the afternoon, 07/05 - He helps me figure out what BBQ to buy for my birthday BBQ party. 08/06 - I text to say how heavy BBQ is so he offers to come and visit me and helps me put it together. Lots of communication in the lead up to my birthday and our trip to Switzerland. Tells me he can’t wait. 15/06 - He comes to my birthday party and helps out even though he is supposed to be home finishing writing his dissertation. 16/06 - We fly out to Geneva and stay one night there. He is still finishing his dissertation and submits it 30 mins before deadline. 18/06 - It’s my birthday and he brings me a birthday present of earrings from the same jeweller he bought my first pair of birthday earrings in 2017. In the evening I tell him I think I am pregnant which he seems ok with at first. 19/06 - We leave Montreux to go to Bern so he can do his course. I keep busy during the day but he is reeling from the pregnancy news. I try not to get into a fight with him but he starts pulling back. We make up but he is still distant. 23/06 - We get back to my place having enjoyed the rest of the time and he offers to cook me dinner at mine. He gets hammered and I have to drive him home after we have slept together. 30/06 - He comes for a Sunday roast with a work colleague and her husband as he met them before. Communication is good despite him not jumping for joy over the pregnancy saying it is too soon in our recently renewed relationship. |
| July 2019 | In the first two weeks communication levels drop a bit because he is taking time to think about things. I maintain that he doesn’t need to do this if he doesn’t want to. 07/07 - we meet up to talk and he tells me he doesn’t think we should do this. Implies I should think about a termination but I state that’s not going to happen as I don’t know if this is my last chance. Communication increases after this as he decides to get on board. Asks me to go and meet his parents at end July. 19/07 - make plans for his birthday weekend which involves me taking him out for a nice dinner and he comes to see me sing in my summer choir concert. 23/07 - I help him navigate a redundancy process with a staff member before we go to meet his parents. 25/07 - We go to Norfolk to meet his family and have a great weekend despite me being concerned there might be an issue with the pregnancy scan. 29/07 - We drive back and at the scan find out about the missed miscarriage. We drive to the sea to get some air. He stays with me that night. 30/07 - He goes to work but checks in on me and comes back to Bristol in the evening to look after me. 31/07 - We talk to book in my surgical management procedure on 5/08. I ask if I can go down to be with him that night then back to my place the next day as he is working away the next day and he confirms immediately. I am emotional wreck given it have just miscarried my first pregnancy and it was twins. |
| August 2019 | 01/08 - I go back to my place but we arrange for him to get us tickets for a concert in Sept 2019. 03/08 - I go to spend the rest of Saturday with him at his place then he comes up to stay with me on Sunday and Monday when I go into hospital 05/08 - He stays with me all day and night then back to work the next day. I’m signed off work for 2 weeks. 06/08 - I stay in Bristol but I am a wreck...and spend my phone call with him in tears so he tells me to come down the next day. 07/08 - 9/08 - I stay with him on his suggestion as I'm really upset and struggle to be alone. He tries to keep me distracted. 10/08 - 11/08 - Friends of ours come to visit so we spend one night at my place then back to his house on Sunday. The boys go out on a nice cycle ride together whilst girls have a chat. 12/08 - 16/08 - I am still staying with him recover as depression is bad but I go home on 16/08 for one night and half a day. 17/08 - We went to a music festival together to see an artist we liked. 19/08 - Help him finalise settlement agreement on my last day before going back to work 20/08 - I struggle through work and in the evening he calls me but I’m in tears for 30 mins or so.I tell him I’m back to the doctors tomorrow as I need more time. He says I should have gone to him that night if I was in such a bad way. 21/08 - Text him to say doc signed me off for 2 more weeks. He gives me a project of getting the builders in to quote for building works to keep me distracted. 21/08-29/08 - We have a nice bank holiday weekend except for some emotional conversation on my part which rocked the boat. I was starting to feel anxious and insecure. 29/08 - I go back to my house. 30/08 - My parents arrive for a long weekend visit. Not much texting as didn’t want to pressure him to meet them. 31/08 - He texts to say he got a distinction in his masters. |
| September 2019 | 01/09 - I take my parents to his city as it's a historical town. I texted him to see if he wants to join us for lunch on Sunday. He also asks if they would like to visit the practice. They visit and he comes to meet them for lunch. 04/09 - I go back to the doctors with Mum and she puts me on antidepressants. 06/09 - We go to the gig with one of his associates and her fiance. We all get on well and have a good time. I stay over in at his place but having tooth pain. 07/09 - He fixes my tooth and after that I go home on Sunday evening as have work on Monday. 10/09 - I go back to him on a question he raised about his building contract but he is busy. 11/09 - I text him to bring something for our trip to a classic car festival the following Sunday. 12/09 - We drive to and stay at a friends house as he is going to a dental expo and then on 13/09 we are all going to the classic car festival. 13/09 - We have a great time there and stay at an Airbnb overnight. 14/09 - On the way back we stopped off for a picnic at a country house and just relax. It's really nice. Communication picks up a bit as I am mostly staying at my place during the week and seeing each other at weekends which is initiated 50/50 most of the time. 24/09 - 28/09 - He comes to stay with me as he is attending a conference in my city. He goes out every night except the first and last one when he takes me out. The 2nd and 3rd nights he came back late and I was panicking he was cheating on me. 28/09 - We go to his on Saturday afternoon and I stay over. 29/09 - He tells me he has stuff to do on his own so I leave him be and go back to my place. He tries calling for the next few days but I don’t make myself available. |
| October | 02/10 - He texted me to invite me to a charity dinner and I eventually call him back in the evening. 03/10 - I check in to see if he got a delivery for the costume he needed for charity abseil. He asks me to go down to his place the following day. 04/10 - We go out for dinner and we have a nice evening before he does his abseil on 5/10 5/10 - 6/10 We go to the abseil and hang out with his employees and associates after. We enjoy the rest of the weekend talking walks and the next day we sleep together (on his initiation) which meant a lot to me given that he said he didn’t want to sleep together unless he knew we were going somewhere. I also agree to take him to the airport on Sunday evening for his business trip to Italy. Less communication but a busy week for both. 12/10 - I go down to his place to hang out with him as I’m taking him to the airport on Sunday evening. 13/10 - Take him to the airport and I go back to my place. I feel quite insecure whilst he is out there as it felt like he pulled back since 6/10. 13/10 - 16/10 - Texts me a little whilst over there and tells me he has a long wait at the airport. I tell him he has time to shop. He asks if I have anything in mind and I ask if he might find a ring match earrings he bought me. I picked him up close to midnight and we went back to his place where he presented me with the ring. 16/10 - He had asked me to attend the opening party of the literature festival so I went back down to his place 17/10 - I reach out to see if I can see him a day earlier than planned but he says no as he wants to be on his own. I respect his wishes but express I am upset. 19/10 - He asked me to go to the literature festival he was sponsoring so I go to his place. We went to one with his associate and her fiance and then to another on our own. 20/10 - He apologises for being distant but he has a lot on and needs time to regroup. I pull back and don’t communicate. 25/10 - We text to make plans for going to his associates wedding on 26/10. 26/10 - We have a great time at the wedding. Everyone was super complimentary about us as a couple. He introduced me as his better half to everyone. 27/10 - We get tickets together for a music festival in June. I am a bit upset about some test results I had about my fertility which is clearly decreasing. We had a heart to heart but I might have gone too deep as I wanted to make a decision about our future. 28/10 - He was off with me the next day. I cancelled my leave to do work back at my place which was urgent. He wasn’t working all week and then asked me to go down on Wednesday. 30/10 - He texted me pics on Weds morning of his associates son in fancy dress. I text about asking his advice on buying a new laptop. We spoke and he asked me if I was going down later. I said I can do. I turn up and he seems surprised to see then he says he isn’t sure about us and wants space to think about things. He tells me a couple of days is what he needs. . |
| November 2019 | 03/11 - I call him a bit tipsy as he hasn’t called or contacted me. We speak for hours but it wasn’t a good idea. He asks for more time. I share an article about being an avoidant. 04/11 - He stops by my place on his way back from seeing friend. He reiterates his need for time and space. I said I will respect that. He did say he recognised some of his behaviours in the article I sent him 15/11 - He texts me to see if I am going to a carnival that evening in his town. I am a bit surprised so I don’t know how to react as it seems like our prior conversation never happened. 17/11 - I call him to ask him to go for a walk with me. He says he can’t but then I call him to bail me out of the woods in the dark he takes me out for dinner. He reiterates the same spiel again and thinks I am battering him with psychology. He asks for more time and I respect it fully. 27/11 - He texts me to ask if I’m ok as he saw my car accident post on FB. He also emails to thank me for introduction to a website design agency. |
| December 2019 | 2/12 - He transfers money to my bank account that he owes although I never told him how much it was. 16/12 - I reach out saying that I ignored him as I wanted to respect his space but he responds in a bizarre way like he hasn't really registered what I wrote but he replied immediately. I don't follow up. 18/12 - He reaches out to ask for suggestions for a lawyer. 20/12 - I’m getting my car serviced and ask him if he is around and wants to have coffee. We go for lunch and catch up. I dropped off Xmas card with spare ticket. That night whilst I am out for Xmas drinks I call him a bit tipsy and reflective telling him about my feelings . 21/12 - I text to see if he is coming and he responds he can’t so I stop by to see him but he is cold and detached. Tells him he has missed me a bit but he is enjoying being on his own right now. He wants more time and space. He thought I understood and we were being friendly. He said he would text over Xmas. 22/12 - I shared with him a short video about the challenges of anxious-avoidant relationships from the School of Life asking if he would be kind enough to watch it 26/12 - He hasn't reached out at all and I didn't text him Merry Xmas on Xmas day as I would only do that if he did it but he hasn't |
We have a trip to Budapest booked for February for 6 days and the non-transferable tickets for the music festival in June.
I am sticking to an extended NC and waiting for him to reach out but I want to try to figure out what I am dealing with first!!
