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Post by attach3d on Jul 7, 2020 17:33:06 GMT
I've read that F-As have a really hard time with forgiveness, and are possibly the least forgiving of the attachment styles. How true is this?
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Post by mixedsyles on Jul 8, 2020 6:38:31 GMT
For me it depends!
The people I have a hard timing forgiving or never forgiving are the one who meant the most for me and I may had high expectations about them.
But there are people I’m quick to forgive because I knew from the start they weren’t that good. I kind of knew in some way that they would hurt me and I didn’t trust them so much from the get go.
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Post by annieb on Jul 8, 2020 14:42:17 GMT
For me it depends! The people I have a hard timing forgiving or never forgiving are the one who meant the most for me and I may had high expectations about them. But there are people I’m quick to forgive because I knew from the start they weren’t that good. I kind of knew in some way that they would hurt me and I didn’t trust them so much from the get go. Agree with this. I’m the same way. Now I recognize that I’m throwing my trust into some of these people (usually a potential SO), that they didn’t deserve. I’m always in a push pull dynamic within myself. Age has really helped with the forgiveness part. As more and more things happen in my life with greater frequency and intensity, I’m less and less affected by others and forgive easier. I forgive very easily if I’m in a good place emotionally and as close to as “secure” as I can get. |
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Post by alexandra on Jul 14, 2020 21:55:39 GMT
I'd consider this another way. Is it tough to forgive because it's really that you can't forgive yourself? For "failing" perhaps, for getting hurt, for not mind reading or predicting the future, for allowing them in and not protecting yourself harder as if their behavior was in your control, for not having your own back to deal with whatever they did more securely within yourself instead of getting stuck on it, etc etc etc?
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Post by dhali on Jul 15, 2020 7:11:39 GMT
What you’re really upset with, always, is yourself. It’s not attachment oriented. If you got burned, you’re upset because of your own judgement. And you have to consider you got it wrong. Pride fights this.
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