soho
Junior Member
Posts: 54 
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Post by soho on Dec 31, 2017 10:05:16 GMT
As I said earlier, I saw this as a recommended book for DA's to basically improve communication and become more integrated. For anyone who has read it, can you comment on that? Would it be helpful for all types? If DA would be running away from themselves and the relationship with their fathers than this book could be helpful. The focus of the book is not about communication but more about stopping to please others and starting to break free. The latter includes facing your "issues". |
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soho
Junior Member
Posts: 54
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Post by soho on Dec 31, 2017 10:08:12 GMT
I've read No More Mr. Nice Guy several times and bought all of Dr. Glover's older podcasts (a couple hundred of them). Waw. That's a lot. Thanks for the additional insights. All interesting references are welcome. Btw: What about AP women? Same story but without the masculinety? |
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Post by tnr9 on Dec 31, 2017 12:29:00 GMT
I've read No More Mr. Nice Guy several times and bought all of Dr. Glover's older podcasts (a couple hundred of them). Waw. That's a lot. Thanks for the additional insights. All interesting references are welcome. Btw: What about AP women? Same story but without the masculinety? Years ago, my therapist recommended a book called "Leaving the enchanted forest" and although it is written about Relationship addiction, I think the same premise exists....the other person cannot be your whole life. It is really well written and you can find it on Amazon www.amazon.com/dp/B003V1WTEA/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8&btkr=1I think our AP can morph or even be expressed as relationship addiction....where our focus is on the other person or the relationship versus being on having a secure attachment that is expressed through hobbies, friendships, self care etc. |
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Post by 1wthlyf on Jan 1, 2018 15:05:57 GMT
I've read No More Mr. Nice Guy several times and bought all of Dr. Glover's older podcasts (a couple hundred of them). Waw. That's a lot. Thanks for the additional insights. All interesting references are welcome. Btw: What about AP women? Same story but without the masculinety? No, not the same for AP women. The gist of the 'Nice Guy' aspect is that the last few generations of men have been, essentially, raised by women. This is not a bad thing with consideration of the needed nurturing, but it contributed to men to fully embracing, or knowing exactly how to embrace their masculine aspects fully. Ergo, the Nice Guy is born. And, so as to be a Nice Guy he suppresses a lot of anger and rage about his childhood. |
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Deleted
Deleted Member
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Post by Deleted on Jan 6, 2018 14:48:33 GMT
I don't know about others but I'm personally looking for a Nice Guy! I'm so sick of NPDs and Avoidants in my life, I'm wondering why on earth I'm attracting mostly these sorts. Ok, i did my fair share of rejection of men whom I find unattractive, boring, watch a lot of TV, can't think outside of the box, horrible taste in appearance, etc., but not because they are NICE.
So these relatively nice but unattractive men think that they are rejected because of their "nice" traits, but it can't be further from the truth.
I seek someone who is intelligent, independent, attractive but also NICE, i.e. kind, caring, optimistic, attentive when I need his attention, happy to share good times together.
It isn't about being an Alpha Male but being someone who is interesting, knowledgeable, who reads, who cultivates his mind, who travels to expand his horizons, etc., all ATTRACTIVE qualities. So Attractive + Nice + Secure = Ultimate Male.
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Post by tnr9 on Jan 6, 2018 16:42:35 GMT
I agree with curious...I don't think that being nice is the issue...I think it is the underlying motive....if I sense that someone is looking to me to "complete them"... I will put up walls and become more distant (which is interesting because I know I do that as well..which is why I tend to be attracted to more unavailable types). There is nothing sexier than a confident nice man.  |
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