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Post by laneysmith1234 on Nov 24, 2023 1:09:09 GMT
We were talking/romantically seeing each other for a month and a half. He was hot and cold but I had no idea he had this attachment style. He was in constant communication with me, good morning and good night texts, constant how is your day going texts. When the conversation ended he would find a way to restart it. He called me baby and sent me hearts. I always supported him when he opened up to me, telling him I believe in him and he can do anything he puts his mind to. We sat by the water and he was pretty affectionate with me, we were really connecting. We spent a weekend together everything was honestly perfect. I would catch him giving me longing looks while I wasn’t paying attention and when I’d notice I would smile at him. He would hold my face and kiss me all over. Before we got together for the weekend he asked me to promise not to argue with him because he’d had bad experiences in the past. I didn’t really understand but I said yes of course. I asked him a question and didn’t really like the answer. I sat up and got dressed and said kindly “I’m going for a walk I’ll be right back.” He sat up really fast and said “okay.” When I got back after 15 minutes he was gone. He hasn’t opened any of my snap messages for 10 days now since this happened. I’m so confused because I know he really cared about me and I’m concerned that now he shut off his feelings toward me completely and will now never get back to me or trust me. I reached out a couple times but he didn’t open my messages, so I’ve just been giving him space for like 6 days now. If he wanted to never speak to me again would he have blocked me? Will he come back eventually  |
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Post by anne12 on Nov 24, 2023 6:32:16 GMT
“I asked him a question and didn’t really like the answer”
What question did you ask ?
And what did he answer to your question ?
I sat up and got dressed and said kindly “I’m going for a walk I’ll be right back.” He sat up really fast and said “okay.”
Where did you go and why ?
There is something in the way you decribe that he is Holding your face in his hands that makes me think that he could have aspergers ?
Sounds like you had a very intense and close weekend which sometimes can overwhelm a persons nerveussystem
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Post by alexandra on Nov 24, 2023 8:11:41 GMT
He may come back, but you can't have a relationship with someone who will run away and stonewall you at the first sign of conflict or disagreement. It's simply impossible because it means you can never trust him, never resolve conflict together, will always be walking on eggshells... you deserve better than that.
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Post by mrob on Nov 24, 2023 9:54:50 GMT
With all due respect, the other party did as you did. I have had times where I knew if I went back, I would be accepting bad behaviour, especially early on.
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Post by cherrycola on Nov 24, 2023 18:46:59 GMT
Both your reactions seem extreme. If someone is hot and cold within the first month of dating that should be a giant red flag to nope out. That is supposed to be the time when FAs thrive on the new relationship energy. I'm with anne12 here. What was said that caused such a strong reaction that you felt the need to leave? Also, being asked not to argue with him? Do you really honestly want this guy to come back? What experiences in your life have made you believe that a great relationship is built on an avoidance of conflict and lack of communication? From my experience these types of people always come back, and they conveniently want to edit out the part where they disappeared. They then love bomb you, reel you back in and then disappear again. Over and over. They need to be able to control the pace and tone of everything. |
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