Post by anne12 on Jun 4, 2018 14:04:49 GMT
Throughout time, a guy had a lot of experience in dating, but always with the same disappointing result: "Ahh, I'm not ready!" - "No, we can not move together before my children are big!".
Think how often love goes whe wrong way and does not get a chance, because many people do not know, how to deal with it.
Finally this man met a new woman. He contacted a therapist to get some help with his lovelife.
The matter was that he had repeatedly encountered resistance from her. He had translated it to, that she was not interested.
With a therapist, he had been unwilling to take her reactions personally!
Instead, he was open to the therapists interpretations and suggestions, which was somewhat more positive than his own. E.g:
When she left all the initiative to him, yes, it could be to test his masculinity. If she could really count on him! Women have to test the man - it usually happens completely unconsciously - and NEVER to be taken personally.
.
When she did not answer his dinner invitations over sms, it did not have to be a no. Perhaps there were only practical obstacles, or she was insecure or afraid of the trouble of love. He learned that it is MUCH better to call and speak personally with her.
AND that he does not have to ask, but suggest things short and concretely: for example: "It's gonna be super awesome if we can go out and eat on Saturday at restaurant xx!"
That way, he retains his power and will not feel rejected, even if the other says no.
.
Behind her rejection was actually a big wish, that he really showed her, that he wanted her.
Whether you are male or female, you can learn 2 very important things from this guy:
Do not take that person's reactions or lack of responses personally! What the other does, say or feel, or do not like to do, say or feel - yes, it's all about the other person and not about you. So do not take it personally or feel rejected!
If you have built solid barricades around your heart, you can either go and wait for someone like this guy did, to free you - or you can do as this guy did and work to break your own barricades down and build something better up inside in you, so that love can reach you!
Think how often love goes whe wrong way and does not get a chance, because many people do not know, how to deal with it.
Finally this man met a new woman. He contacted a therapist to get some help with his lovelife.
The matter was that he had repeatedly encountered resistance from her. He had translated it to, that she was not interested.
With a therapist, he had been unwilling to take her reactions personally!
Instead, he was open to the therapists interpretations and suggestions, which was somewhat more positive than his own. E.g:
When she left all the initiative to him, yes, it could be to test his masculinity. If she could really count on him! Women have to test the man - it usually happens completely unconsciously - and NEVER to be taken personally.
.
When she did not answer his dinner invitations over sms, it did not have to be a no. Perhaps there were only practical obstacles, or she was insecure or afraid of the trouble of love. He learned that it is MUCH better to call and speak personally with her.
AND that he does not have to ask, but suggest things short and concretely: for example: "It's gonna be super awesome if we can go out and eat on Saturday at restaurant xx!"
That way, he retains his power and will not feel rejected, even if the other says no.
.
Behind her rejection was actually a big wish, that he really showed her, that he wanted her.
Whether you are male or female, you can learn 2 very important things from this guy:
Do not take that person's reactions or lack of responses personally! What the other does, say or feel, or do not like to do, say or feel - yes, it's all about the other person and not about you. So do not take it personally or feel rejected!
If you have built solid barricades around your heart, you can either go and wait for someone like this guy did, to free you - or you can do as this guy did and work to break your own barricades down and build something better up inside in you, so that love can reach you!
