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Post by Deleted on Jun 15, 2018 0:07:31 GMT
I like to read dating tips and information in the form of short articles, in order to check my habits against what is standard or recommended.
So, i thought this would be a good place to post links to good dating articles, for reference as i go along.
Feel free to share things you've come across that you find useful.
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Post by Deleted on Jun 15, 2018 0:08:51 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jun 15, 2018 0:12:42 GMT
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Post by tnr9 on Jun 15, 2018 0:14:12 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jun 15, 2018 0:27:03 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jun 15, 2018 0:28:49 GMT
that's a great one on communication! |
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Post by tnr9 on Jun 15, 2018 0:31:04 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jun 15, 2018 0:40:02 GMT
It's not an article, but goldilocks and i were talking today and she helped me by sharing an idea about creating a sort of time line for certain things, like a sexual progression, or whatever- according to my value system. there was the idea of creating some boundaries and identifying a personal value attached to it. i am going to explore that and talk to her some more about it because i like this idea a lot. i want to have a conscious process, with my values and aspirations at the front of my awareness. an example she and i talked about in another conversation, as applied to personal finances, looks like this: I am setting aside $1000 for rent, because my shelter provides safety for me. I am setting aside $500 for groceries so i can nourish my body and love myself with good nutrition, and i can also enjoy the fellowship of those dear to me by sharing meals. applying this concept to dating boundaries is really a beautiful idea! |
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Post by goldilocks on Jun 16, 2018 11:08:59 GMT
Actually, I prefer to have sex as an expression of positive emotion (Love, desire, joy, playfulness) rather than to pursue or avoid an outcome. I do agree that, within an existing long term relationship, it is better to have sex to pursue closeness than to avoid dissatistaction. Still, if I was married I'd rather say "Hey hubby, what do you think of trying this technique on the weekend? Lets free up saturday night and order some food!" than "You know, it would benefit us to get closer by having sex. Lets free up saturday night and order some food!" |
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Post by Deleted on Jun 16, 2018 11:24:25 GMT
i only have sex because sex is delicious.
i don't really get the bartering with it unless it's a bad relationship , in which case, yuck, no sex. 😂
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Post by goldilocks on Jun 16, 2018 13:49:08 GMT
It's not an article, but goldilocks and i were talking today and she helped me by sharing an idea about creating a sort of time line for certain things, like a sexual progression, or whatever- according to my value system. there was the idea of creating some boundaries and identifying a personal value attached to it. i am going to explore that and talk to her some more about it because i like this idea a lot. i want to have a conscious process, with my values and aspirations at the front of my awareness. an example she and i talked about in another conversation, as applied to personal finances, looks like this: I am setting aside $1000 for rent, because my shelter provides safety for me. I am setting aside $500 for groceries so i can nourish my body and love myself with good nutrition, and i can also enjoy the fellowship of those dear to me by sharing meals. applying this concept to dating boundaries is really a beautiful idea! Yes! When it comes to starting to have sex, I really think some things I value need to already be there. First of all, safety and trust. I'm not into casual sex for myself, but would not judge others for indulging in it. Even if the guy is a booty call or holiday romance, we should all value our own safety and only be with someone we would trust enough to invite at home and leave them alone in our house while we do groceries. For people that want a romantic relationship, it is good to be aware of the bonding hormones released in sex. Sex can only bond you to what you have actually seen in the other person. In the first weeks, you might be infatuated with someone, but most of that is based on superficial and imagined qualities. Once you have seen the outline of character and admire that, the bonding hormones would enhance the admiration and be a building block in solid feelings of being in love. Infatuation is, in my opinion, a delusional interpretation of feelings of desire. Desire is beautiful and motivates us to date long enough to discover the character. It is like the appetizer to the main course which is admiration. Affection comes with the years and is the dessert. Love is the whole dinner. |
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Post by Deleted on Jun 16, 2018 14:35:06 GMT
It's not an article, but goldilocks and i were talking today and she helped me by sharing an idea about creating a sort of time line for certain things, like a sexual progression, or whatever- according to my value system. there was the idea of creating some boundaries and identifying a personal value attached to it. i am going to explore that and talk to her some more about it because i like this idea a lot. i want to have a conscious process, with my values and aspirations at the front of my awareness. an example she and i talked about in another conversation, as applied to personal finances, looks like this: I am setting aside $1000 for rent, because my shelter provides safety for me. I am setting aside $500 for groceries so i can nourish my body and love myself with good nutrition, and i can also enjoy the fellowship of those dear to me by sharing meals. applying this concept to dating boundaries is really a beautiful idea! Yes! When it comes to starting to have sex, I really think some things I value need to already be there. First of all, safety and trust. I'm not into casual sex for myself, but would not judge others for indulging in it. Even if the guy is a booty call or holiday romance, we should all value our own safety and only be with someone we would trust enough to invite at home and leave them alone in our house while we do groceries. For people that want a romantic relationship, it is good to be aware of the bonding hormones released in sex. Sex can only bond you to what you have actually seen in the other person. In the first weeks, you might be infatuated with someone, but most of that is based on superficial and imagined qualities. Once you have seen the outline of character and admire that, the bonding hormones would enhance the admiration and be a building block in solid feelings of being in love. Infatuation is, in my opinion, a delusional interpretation of feelings of desire. Desire is beautiful and motivates us to date long enough to discover the character. It is like the appetizer to the main course which is admiration. Affection comes with the years and is the dessert. Love is the whole dinner. yes yes yes, although i am affectionate naturally, and that will be there already before i engage in sex. i have lost any appetite for casual sex, having experienced both emotional and sexual intimacy that i adored in my last relationship. cozy committed sex is where it's at for me, i know how to find it now, i believe ❤️ |
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