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Post by tnr9 on Jul 13, 2018 3:48:39 GMT
I have discovered that for me, there is actually a freedom in owning my process....in being able to say that I am choosing to remain stuck. It is a very odd thing...I did not think staying stuck was "ok" but I am learning that being able to say I am stuck and accept that I am stuck is far better and truer then saying that I have moved on but acting as if I am still stuck. I think part of self care is being able to own my truth whether anyone else likes it or agrees with it. And since I have stated to myself that I am ok with me being stuck, I can focus on other things instead of asking myself why am I stuck or why haven't I moved on. I can focus instead on identifying my feelings and thoughts...for instance, right now I am having a moment of peace that is not tied to anyone else. It is a feeling of serenity with who I am. I am really grateful for this moment.❤️
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Post by mistakes on Jul 13, 2018 11:27:54 GMT
It’s a good feeling to be more free in a sense, although it comes from ebrassing that we are stuck!
It’s interesting that I was going through some similar feelings these two days, thinking of how to share in this forum. Let’s celebrate~^^
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Post by tnr9 on Jul 13, 2018 12:34:22 GMT
It really does seem some habits/patterns are so ingrained in me and refuse to budge, so I am having to adjust to them....for one thing..the looking for patterns in a finite and fixed amount of data. The specifics do not matter...it is the fact that I can be so certain in my assessment of the situation that it is invariably a result/reaction to me and then I react emotionally to that picture that I created. It is like I crave some ability to "know" when that "knowing" does not serve me.
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Post by leavethelighton on Jul 17, 2018 23:32:18 GMT
I agree that recognizing one is stuck or at a kind of impasse can actually be a necessary step.
I have had the experience of finally accepting that some things that I was struggling to change about my way of thinking or feeling or being might never change-- and only then was it actually able to make the next significant change. Strange eh?
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Post by leavethelighton on Jul 17, 2018 23:35:00 GMT
It really does seem some habits/patterns are so ingrained in me and refuse to budge, so I am having to adjust to them....for one thing..the looking for patterns in a finite and fixed amount of data. The specifics do not matter...it is the fact that I can be so certain in my assessment of the situation that it is invariably a result/reaction to me and then I react emotionally to that picture that I created. It is like I crave some ability to "know" when that "knowing" does not serve me.
Tnr9, do you think some of this is because we want an explanation for things and so if one is not available, it can be difficult to really accept that we just can't know? We want to KNOW, you know? Yeah, I can relate.
It does help to think about several alternative interpretations, so as to keep reminding one's self, that one really just doesn't/can't know.
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andy
Full Member
Posts: 131
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Post by andy on Aug 11, 2018 21:40:48 GMT
That sounds really good to just give gentle recognition to your current stuckness and not judge it or add another layer of bad feelings onto it. As my friend said today, feelings like to be accepted. Hard to move on from a present reality that's not ideal when you're busy denying it, hating it, or wishing it out of existence. Good wishes to you!
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Post by tnr9 on Aug 12, 2018 2:56:37 GMT
It really does seem some habits/patterns are so ingrained in me and refuse to budge, so I am having to adjust to them....for one thing..the looking for patterns in a finite and fixed amount of data. The specifics do not matter...it is the fact that I can be so certain in my assessment of the situation that it is invariably a result/reaction to me and then I react emotionally to that picture that I created. It is like I crave some ability to "know" when that "knowing" does not serve me.
Tnr9, do you think some of this is because we want an explanation for things and so if one is not available, it can be difficult to really accept that we just can't know? We want to KNOW, you know? Yeah, I can relate.
It does help to think about several alternative interpretations, so as to keep reminding one's self, that one really just doesn't/can't know.
I do think there is a part of wanting to "know"..but it is a knowing that really is not a knowing..it is a guessing....and with a negative, paranoid spin. |
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