I am ok, even if I feel ignored or disconnected

Last week was a opportunity to observe my patterns with my family..specifically my mom and while I am still processing through that...this week B responded to an email of mine with a very caring yet letting me down gently response.  I will admit that even having that small, rather impersonal connection made me feel more calm for several days....and it is only now starting to wear off and I sense the fear, anxiety and sadness of being disconnected creeping back in.....and it is ok.  I think far too often I have distracted myself in moments like these or discounted them...but what we stuff down eventually comes up and I don't want this to build....so I am reminding myself in the most gentle way possible that I am ok....even in the sensation of disconnection...I am still ok.  It feels unacceptable..and it was...when I was a baby, a toddler, a little girl...this truly was unacceptable...but B is not responsible for me...he is not responsible for my feelings...and he does not owe me any contact.  Do I want to focus on him?  Heck yes.  Do I want to do all the things I usually do when I feel like this?  Yes. But patterns do not change if we are not willing to try something different.  I am ok...I am safe...I am responsible for my feelings....so I will spend time feeling both the pain of it and telling myself, it is ok...because it is.