Post by anne12 on Jul 30, 2018 6:53:38 GMT
PROACTIVE: How to get out of negativity and victim role and into your autonomy and personal power
Have you noticed, that some people are really good at being in the "victim role"?
They are very concerned with what others think, do and expect. Or they just have to accept the conditions that are in their lives.
Perhaps you even know, that the external circumstances - people or situations - control your mood and your actions.
If you have a certain amount of ambivalent / nervous attachment, it can be especially challenging and frustrating.
Others may be good at maintaining their mood and living their lives in accordance with who they are. Also when they encounter adversity.
How to get control of your life (becoming proactive)?
Also called "to come home to yourself".
Depending on your luggage from the past, your terms and your habits, it may be easier or harder to do this. There may also be situations or times when it is easier or harder for you.
It is not always that you can or should redesign the external circumstances and not at all other people.
Here you will get 2 highly efficient and simple (but not always easy) methods for inner strength and control.
The paradoxical change method:
You are largely back to your autonomy and personal power, when you can empower yourself to feel your feelings - without having to "dump" them on others:
Allow yourself to feel the feeling, such as sadness or anger (= irritation etc.) by saying directly to the feeling, just within yourself: "You are allowed be here right now, now that you are here! "
If you resist this, give the resistance the right to be here right now.
Then you release the energy of life into the feeling. And therefore, it can be used as a fuel in a more constructive way. In addition, it feels more ok to be you.
Stephen Covey to be proactive in "7 Good Habits":
Maybe you can do something else?
If you can perceive the situation, yourself or the other, it can help you back to you and your power.
When you are in the victim role, this pattern runs:
Impact => Reaction (where you may think things are just happening to you - your felings and reactions happens automatically)
When you take control, that is, that you are proactive, you make a conscious choice between the influence and the reaction. It looks like this:
Impact => choice => (re) action!
Notice the situations that bothers you.
Look for where you could do something else, or think something else - be proactive!
The process BE PROACTIVE is simplified said:
You become aware of the situation - what happens?
What do you (or do not), think and experience (feelings and or sensations in the body) YOU?
What effect do your thoughts / actions have?
What could you do / think differently, which was better for you?
Decide to do it in the new way - to make a conscious choice
Practice - do it! (again and again .... you also did not learn to ride the bike, the first minute you put yourself on a bike ?!)
Have fun and remember to breathe along the way - to be here right now in the precent!
Have you noticed, that some people are really good at being in the "victim role"?
They are very concerned with what others think, do and expect. Or they just have to accept the conditions that are in their lives.
Perhaps you even know, that the external circumstances - people or situations - control your mood and your actions.
If you have a certain amount of ambivalent / nervous attachment, it can be especially challenging and frustrating.
Others may be good at maintaining their mood and living their lives in accordance with who they are. Also when they encounter adversity.
How to get control of your life (becoming proactive)?
Also called "to come home to yourself".
Depending on your luggage from the past, your terms and your habits, it may be easier or harder to do this. There may also be situations or times when it is easier or harder for you.
It is not always that you can or should redesign the external circumstances and not at all other people.
Here you will get 2 highly efficient and simple (but not always easy) methods for inner strength and control.
The paradoxical change method:
You are largely back to your autonomy and personal power, when you can empower yourself to feel your feelings - without having to "dump" them on others:
Allow yourself to feel the feeling, such as sadness or anger (= irritation etc.) by saying directly to the feeling, just within yourself: "You are allowed be here right now, now that you are here! "
If you resist this, give the resistance the right to be here right now.
Then you release the energy of life into the feeling. And therefore, it can be used as a fuel in a more constructive way. In addition, it feels more ok to be you.
Stephen Covey to be proactive in "7 Good Habits":
Maybe you can do something else?
If you can perceive the situation, yourself or the other, it can help you back to you and your power.
When you are in the victim role, this pattern runs:
Impact => Reaction (where you may think things are just happening to you - your felings and reactions happens automatically)
When you take control, that is, that you are proactive, you make a conscious choice between the influence and the reaction. It looks like this:
Impact => choice => (re) action!
Notice the situations that bothers you.
Look for where you could do something else, or think something else - be proactive!
The process BE PROACTIVE is simplified said:
You become aware of the situation - what happens?
What do you (or do not), think and experience (feelings and or sensations in the body) YOU?
What effect do your thoughts / actions have?
What could you do / think differently, which was better for you?
Decide to do it in the new way - to make a conscious choice
Practice - do it! (again and again .... you also did not learn to ride the bike, the first minute you put yourself on a bike ?!)
Have fun and remember to breathe along the way - to be here right now in the precent!