The power of gratitude

it truly is a habit.
part of my breathing practice is to stop thinking a minute to recognize the very basic ways my needs are met.
i can then acknowledge many ways my wants are satisfied.
It really makes it possible for me to feel a sense of joy, and relaxation, that gives me a perspective even if i am facing a major stressor or painful experience.
It's a fundamental practice for me.
But it IS a practice. that means, it takes practice to be able to do this regularly and in spite of any difficulty that may be ovwrwhelming.
I recently was hospitalized with a deadly emergency that was completely unexpected, rare, which could not have been detected nor prevented.
It shook me up, not only was the pain excruciating, it required a major abdominal surgery and left me for 5 days waiting in hospital for an answer as to whether or not i had malignancy.

I was on fentanyl much of the time, but i could still think.
and any time my thought turned to the fear that i may be discharged to fight a battle with cancer, i laid still, breathed in and out, and was thankful that i was safe, they had saved my life, many people came to my aid with practical help and to comfort me, i felt loved and supported, and even if i had to fight cancer i was alive right now to fight it my way.

It turns out, there is no malignancy. I am healed up, it was 8 weeks ago. The outcome was not the worst case, and i am glad i did not dwell on that while i could have done nothing about it yet.

as it was, i learned some things there. openness to whatever my day has, good or bad, is the path that brings me daily peace. am thankful for the whole experience and can name the very positive things that came from it, which would not have happened the way they did without the terrifying and painful ordeal.

perspective is so powerful, for good or for bad!!