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Post by 8675309 on Dec 2, 2018 2:14:17 GMT
I read Attached.
Wired for Love was just delivered to me today so I'll start it this week, its an attachment style read. I'll update when I get through it.
Not sure if its one you'd be interested in/would help you but I'll update none the less.
"conflict is inevitable and actually healthy" it is, it makes you closer/stronger with people majority of the time. It can come to a head at times and things end or you agree to disagree and move on from it. You have an understanding even if its a disagree.
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Post by epicgum on Dec 2, 2018 3:40:38 GMT
I read Attached. Wired for Love was just delivered to me today so I'll start it this week, its an attachment style read. I'll update when I get through it. Not sure if its one you'd be interested in/would help you but I'll update none the less. "conflict is inevitable and actually healthy" it is, it makes you closer/stronger with people majority of the time. It can come to a head at times and things end or you agree to disagree and move on from it. You have an understanding even if its a disagree. Thanks for your thoughts...yes it is a lesson learned the hard way for me for sure. Im not sure why, but conflict would terrify me. Seeing conflict in other peoples relationships made me feel scared for ::their:: relationship even!! I'm striving to be as honest as possible in my relationships now (romantic and otherwise, and especially on this forum), even when it will involve saying something that people wont want to hear, I am striving to train myself to do this, while still being considerate and respectful. |
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hannah
Junior Member
Posts: 67
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Post by hannah on Dec 2, 2018 11:43:42 GMT
I read Attached. Wired for Love was just delivered to me today so I'll start it this week, its an attachment style read. I'll update when I get through it. Not sure if its one you'd be interested in/would help you but I'll update none the less. "conflict is inevitable and actually healthy" it is, it makes you closer/stronger with people majority of the time. It can come to a head at times and things end or you agree to disagree and move on from it. You have an understanding even if its a disagree. Thanks for your thoughts...yes it is a lesson learned the hard way for me for sure. Im not sure why, but conflict would terrify me. Seeing conflict in other peoples relationships made me feel scared for ::their:: relationship even!! I'm striving to be as honest as possible in my relationships now (romantic and otherwise, and especially on this forum), even when it will involve saying something that people wont want to hear, I am striving to train myself to do this, while still being considerate and respectful. I'm learning that too! Weeks ago I saw what a healthy conflict looks like and it was... wow!!! At the end the two people were there "- are you satisfied with this discussion or do you have anything to add ? - I'm done, thank you, you're great. - You too." In my mind I was WTF!? Don't you guys hate each other? Will you remain friends, no resentment ? It's nice to surround myself with these examples now as I grew up on lots of dysfunction. |
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Post by 8675309 on Dec 3, 2018 10:40:26 GMT
Forgot about this book, I found it at the thrift store and its old so not sure it is still in print. It has an attachment element in the book but in a different way. Its a self esteem book. It talks about you're Not ok Child, The Nurturer, The Criticizer, The Adult and The Controller. What reel of those do you run during situations and why. I think it would help avoidants along with the APs. Both types the Not Ok Child predominates most of the time.
Celebrate Your Self- Enhancing Your Own Self-Esteem by Dorthy Corkille Briggs.
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