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Post by tnr9 on Nov 13, 2018 16:29:19 GMT
Are you playing a chill / cool girl with this guy ? Like " yes, yes, you can drop by whenever you want, my door is always open - I am a cristian cool girl.... ", " I do not have any needs or boundaries", "I am not the bitchy controling type of woman, like other w....", "Yes, it´s fine with me, you go to the church" ect. ?Yes and no.....trying to be chill, open....but, I think back to what happened when he showed up at the beach and I did not expect him.....I hid....I couldn't face him....that was not showing a cool girl but instead was a scared girl. |
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Post by faithopelove on Nov 13, 2018 21:12:36 GMT
Epic- I can tell you...I’ve had “replacements” literally my whole life and they just don’t work...they are simply a band aid that will eventually lead to more turmoil in the future. They are usually more than a band aid- they are destructive. That’s why for the first time I am choosing to be alone and foster self-love within. I can foster friendships, but I don’t want another romantic partner to take the place of S so I can “monkey branch” to another form of insecure attachment. At my age, I figure it’s finally time to grow up emotionally and learn to be autonomous and find my love and security within...once I’m happy and content alone, I’ll have the love, security and confidence within to share with someone else. Yes, replacements dont work. Like that saying get on top of another to get over another, I found years ago this did not work at all! haha Learning to love the self and being alone is a gift. Im good alone and even being ok alone you'll still be lonely sometimes and thats ok too. The loneliness passes because you got you and in time someone else will come. You'll have good days and bad days. When you let go, cutting those energetic cords to another person and grow alone, the universe will send good things. Cutting cords allows the universe to send someone emotionally balanced and with cords still attached its just hindering what the universe wants to send you as you're not learning the lesson still having cords attached. Gosh darn it... its so damn hard to cut cords! It really is but we all got this! [imgsrc="//storage.proboards.com/forum/images/smiley/smiley.png" alt="  " class="smile"]
Its also you cant be happy with another until you're happy with yourself. This doesnt mean your life has to be perfect nor you. We can still be happy even if things still need work, etc.
Yes, we’ve got this!!! Day by day! 🙂💗 |
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Post by alexandra on Nov 14, 2018 0:18:06 GMT
tnr9, it's still a one step back, two steps forward kind of healing, but I know you've been doing better about B. Have you recently had any other new stress come up? Sometimes it's easy for an AP to project on an attachment figure when unrelated stress starts. It's almost like you're "used" to the stress feelings you get from the dysfunctional dynamic and it can be easier to focus on those than whatever else is happening... anything like that going on that may coincide with this new AP episode?
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Post by tnr9 on Nov 14, 2018 2:23:12 GMT
tnr9 , it's still a one step back, two steps forward kind of healing, but I know you've been doing better about B. Have you recently had any other new stress come up? Sometimes it's easy for an AP to project on an attachment figure when unrelated stress starts. It's almost like you're "used" to the stress feelings you get from the dysfunctional dynamic and it can be easier to focus on those than whatever else is happening... anything like that going on that may coincide with this new AP episode? Interesting that you should ask alexandra.....I had dinner with my family on Saturday night.....and there are always ripples when I see my mom. I really should have predicted the regressed, needy state that I found myself in on Sunday. I always miss B more and have less capacity after I see my mom. It did not help that I developed a cold, started my period and had to get up at 6 AM for work on Sunday. Today I am back to feeling grounded and ok. |
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Post by faithopelove on Nov 14, 2018 2:33:18 GMT
tnr9 , it's still a one step back, two steps forward kind of healing, but I know you've been doing better about B. Have you recently had any other new stress come up? Sometimes it's easy for an AP to project on an attachment figure when unrelated stress starts. It's almost like you're "used" to the stress feelings you get from the dysfunctional dynamic and it can be easier to focus on those than whatever else is happening... anything like that going on that may coincide with this new AP episode? Interesting that you should ask alexandra.....I had dinner with my family on Saturday night.....and there are always ripples when I see my mom. I really should have predicted the regressed, needy state that I found myself in on Sunday. I always miss B more and have less capacity after I see my mom. It did not help that I developed a cold, started my period and had to get up at 6 AM for work on Sunday. Today I am back to feeling grounded and ok. Glad you’re feeling better! One day at a time is all you need 🍂🌺🍂 |
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Post by lilyg on Nov 14, 2018 11:18:19 GMT
tnr9 how are you feeling today, sweetie? Happy non-birthday! It helps me to get over someone when I keep myself active and I enter new, exciting people. Maybe some meetups could help? I know it's very cliché but it makes me feel on the first stages of healing that I'm moving foward.
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Post by tnr9 on Nov 14, 2018 12:45:46 GMT
tnr9 how are you feeling today, sweetie? Happy non-birthday! It helps me to get over someone when I keep myself active and I enter new, exciting people. Maybe some meetups could help? I know it's very cliché but it makes me feel on the first stages of healing that I'm moving foward. Hey lily...I am good...wistful...but in a good way. Thank you for the non birthday wish...🙂. Right now, with this cold and feeling icky..it has been me and Netflix but hopefully I can get back into things. I do have plans on Friday and Saturday. |
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