|
|
Post by faithopelove on Dec 11, 2018 22:18:03 GMT
Yes, I agree with all your AP points, and I feel like I’m getting to that place now of laying my needs before my ex and if he’s not willing or able to step up then we just agree to disagree and go separate ways. I didn’t have the security to contemplate this before but I’m heading there now. I texted him last week that I don’t want us to be just physical and if that’s how he thinks of me then I have to do what’s right for me. He responded that he doesn’t think of me as just physical but understands if I need to move on bc he knows he’s not right. I do believe he has feelings for me but the past year since our break he’s been shut down emotionally. So, even if he has feelings beyond physical- it doesn’t really help bc he doesn’t communicate this. All we do is go to his house, no dates or phone calls- it feels only physical to me. I wasn’t sure where to go from there so I pulled back and figured he can contact me. My last text was “It’s not that I don’t think you’re right, but I think you’d feel better if you talked to me or someone else about things pushed down inside, and...if I’m not just physical, then prove it!” He hasn’t responded and that was 5 days ago. I think it's also that as anxiety goes down and security goes up, when you have an insecure attachment styled partner or romantic interest... you may be attached but you can start to really believe, "wait. It IS you not me," and accept that since the other person has to fix their own issues because they're unrelated to you, it becomes more intuitive to walk away. Alexandra- yes, everything you said about AP in the comments on this page resonate so strongly with me, I feel like you’re in my mind! Definitely as I’m doing all my work I can see the problem lies with him and not me because he’s not willing to open up or do any work. If he was willing to move from avoidant, we could do this. The way he is now, he’ll just continue his pattern of destructive and broken relationships. No matter what- I’m tired of ignoring my own needs for him. |
|
|
|
Post by alexandra on Dec 12, 2018 1:27:22 GMT
faithopelove, you've been doing a great job and have come a very long way from when you started posting. You were a lot less open to taking the focus off your partner a few months ago, but I'm glad you gave yourself some time to let everything you were learning sink in then took it to heart. Definitely think you're on the right track for yourself, no matter what happens with your DA ex 
|
|
|
|
Post by faithopelove on Dec 12, 2018 2:40:26 GMT
faithopelove, you've been doing a great job and have come a very long way from when you started posting. You were a lot less open to taking the focus off your partner a few months ago, but I'm glad you gave yourself some time to let everything you were learning sink in then took it to heart. Definitely think you're on the right track for yourself, no matter what happens with your DA ex Thanks, Alexandra!! It’s a journey 💗 |
|
