Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jan 21, 2019 0:35:06 GMT
Thought this was such a good article summarizing the dance of the insecure styles. tinybuddha.com/blog/prevent-fear-insecurity-ruining-relationship/We’re afraid we’re unworthy of love, so we push our partner away when things get too intimate. We’re afraid to be abandoned, so we try to control the relationship or smother our partner. We’re afraid we won’t be accepted as we are, so we don’t show our true selves.
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maryt
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Post by maryt on Jan 22, 2019 4:14:26 GMT
Thank you so much for posting this!! Exactly the reminder I needed today. I’ve been dating my DA/FA bf for almost five years. I run very much AP. We’ve come a very long way due to an inordinate amount of patience, understanding, and love on both our parts. (Did I mention patience?!). For the most part, I’ve learned how to pause at times when my AP feels triggered and think through my feelings before reacting to them...:or not react at all. For some reason, earlier today I was getting in my head more than usual...the fear can still creep in! So this was a perfect reminder that sometimes he still has his fears too. And that’s ok. As long as we deal with them together in healthy, compassionate ways that allow both of us to continue healing and feeling more secure. Good stuff.
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Post by leavethelighton on Jan 23, 2019 0:59:18 GMT
Also worth noting, it's not necessarily conscious. The conscious thinking could believe we're doing the opposite.
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