Showing emotions when avoidants drink

I actually enjoyed my ex when he was relaxing with a drink.
It appeared a time when he let go of self.
The trouble is he always woke up beating himself up about drinking to much and needing to change but never did anything to change.
We would sing and dance and have lots of fun.
There we're a couple of occasions when I got very upset whilst drinking gin and he couldn't cope and would leave me.
I have major regrets over my behaviour as drink is at the root of us breaking up.