Expectation vs. disappointment at a hope not being realized

Hope is just a feeling, expectation is to actively work for something. Expectation includes hope, hope doesn't necessarily include expectation. That's how I see it.

I was struggling with this with my recent ex. I was hoping for a relationship but not expecting one. I was just taking one day at a time. I think he saw this as expectation, and that scared him.

So that's the difference for me at least.

I see expectation as entitlement, and intertwined with the “shoulds” of life, which to me are rubbish. People should or should not treat me this way, people should do this, etc. They’re all guaranteed recipes for disappointment and resentment.

I think it is part of the “dance” between APs and avoidants.....we feel hope, but to the avoidant, it is felt as an expectation. I do think there is expectation behind the hope...because the hope is oftentimes tied to something we did not get consistently..but hoped to...such as words of affirmation, consistency etc. But it almost a demand for it....a need that isnot overtly expressed...but carries with it a lot of weight. My mom and I are still reacting to each other...I react to what I perceive as her withholding with hope and sadness and she reacts to my hope with distancing and frustration.  I don’t think we will ever be at a point where there is not some level of triggering.  I usually end up feeling judged in the whole process of not being worth the effort...and I end up pushing my anger out to other drivers by being judgmental on the road.