Superhero Love: Crippled Rescuers
Jul 17, 2019 15:37:14 GMT
via mobile
ocarina and persephone like this
Post by Deleted on Jul 17, 2019 15:37:14 GMT
I have learned about Superhero Love. It's the biggest deception.
I see the underlying currents here. I've seen them in my own life. Codependent attachment fantasies. How can I understand and support him? How can I show her the help she needs?
Varying levels of denial, fluctuating emotions, Rosy optimism followed by desolate loss of hope, while those who suffer try to save everyone else in order to save themselves.
There is no Superhero Love. If you are avoiding your own tough choices trying to accommodate and make do with a partner who is unavailable to you, you are doomed to fail. Behind all this altruistic tolerance and compassion, understanding and accommodation, lies a cruelty to yourself. Turn your powers to you, you need them more than anyone.
What about you? What about when you have a hard day and need a soft place to land? How about when you suffer, and your unavailable partner is no where to be found? How about when you are lost and confused and dismayed and you need a wise voice of compassion providing you with understanding, healing perspectives, and encouragement?
Are you needless? You are not. Are you complete and able to offer others your abundance? You are not, and will not be until you turn that compassion inward. Turn the wisdom inward. Turn the courage inward, call up your ability to face your own abandonment, your own sadness, your own disappointment.
There is no Superhero Love. If there were, you'd be fine. You would already be rescued and ready to rescue. You aren't. You won't be. It's a long process of breaking down the old and building the new and you cannot do that for another person. They cannot do it for you
Can you heal with a partner? Sure. You sure can. If they are side by side with you with the same aspiration and willingness. Otherwise, you can experience a lot of growth and the annihilation or your own illusions while you discover your limitations and theirs, walking through a dysfunctional , imbalanced and ultimately terminal insecurely attached entanglement.
I'm not talking about those relationships with two people aware and trying. I'm talking about the rescue situations that crop up over and over here and everywhere else.
None of us can do it alone, and none of us can do it for someone else.
I just am putting this here to remember, as I guide myself and my children through life.
I see the underlying currents here. I've seen them in my own life. Codependent attachment fantasies. How can I understand and support him? How can I show her the help she needs?
Varying levels of denial, fluctuating emotions, Rosy optimism followed by desolate loss of hope, while those who suffer try to save everyone else in order to save themselves.
There is no Superhero Love. If you are avoiding your own tough choices trying to accommodate and make do with a partner who is unavailable to you, you are doomed to fail. Behind all this altruistic tolerance and compassion, understanding and accommodation, lies a cruelty to yourself. Turn your powers to you, you need them more than anyone.
What about you? What about when you have a hard day and need a soft place to land? How about when you suffer, and your unavailable partner is no where to be found? How about when you are lost and confused and dismayed and you need a wise voice of compassion providing you with understanding, healing perspectives, and encouragement?
Are you needless? You are not. Are you complete and able to offer others your abundance? You are not, and will not be until you turn that compassion inward. Turn the wisdom inward. Turn the courage inward, call up your ability to face your own abandonment, your own sadness, your own disappointment.
There is no Superhero Love. If there were, you'd be fine. You would already be rescued and ready to rescue. You aren't. You won't be. It's a long process of breaking down the old and building the new and you cannot do that for another person. They cannot do it for you
Can you heal with a partner? Sure. You sure can. If they are side by side with you with the same aspiration and willingness. Otherwise, you can experience a lot of growth and the annihilation or your own illusions while you discover your limitations and theirs, walking through a dysfunctional , imbalanced and ultimately terminal insecurely attached entanglement.
I'm not talking about those relationships with two people aware and trying. I'm talking about the rescue situations that crop up over and over here and everywhere else.
None of us can do it alone, and none of us can do it for someone else.
I just am putting this here to remember, as I guide myself and my children through life.
