Triggered

Yeah you're probably right.

I've been happy on my own for a while now but recently started desiring companionship. Because it was a relatively weak desire I thought that meant it was ok to peruse.

I have quite strong feeling for this person already and usually I would rush in blindly. But now I'm feeling very scared and I think that's because I risk losing the relative happiness I've created alone.

I really don't trust myself it my own intuition. I think that is my main problem.

Low self esteem is something that AP and FAs share.  He is not better than you. 💕💕

I said a very similar thing today to my friend...I don't have feelings for him, I cant yet, it's my self esteem and attachment issues. That helps.

Do you know what, I think I'm triggered cause he's just not into me. I'm gonna trust my intuition and leave it.

I think this board has a lot of "they're just not that into you" answers, and people take that on as a general mindset.

I used to think this, and that it was helpful "tough love" for myself even if it triggered me as a concept (which it always did, personalizing rejection even if I hadn't done anything crappy to the other person or objectively wrong), but now I don't. Because, assuming the potential partner isn't a malicious or garbage person:

If the other person is secure, they'll let you know their level of interest directly either way. Especially if you just ask. If they're not sure yet, they'll tell you they need more time to get to know you.

If the other person is insecure, they may be into you but so scared of intimacy that it doesn't matter, and they'll still act inconsistently.

If you are the insecure person, there's so much projection and self-defensive game-playing, it's really difficult to tell what's real when you're getting to know someone. Especially if you're FA or AP, because you've got a negative self-narrative.

Not sure if you're still looking for advice about how to figure this out, but I'm going to offer some anyway, in the vein of approaching it through self-acceptance and maybe trying to be more secure.

Don't guess, don't assume. Communicate and ask. If this seems too scary, explore why that is. I used to be scared of answers I didn't want or imagined the other person could think I was a nag or desperate or hadn't had enough time to get to know me yet, the list of why I didn't communicate or ask goes on and on. I had to work through not feeling shame, such as ashamed for (in my case) wanting a relationship in a culture that pushes casual, and to work on feeling okay if I did get an answer I didn't want / didn't meet my expectations. In the end, it just ended up resulting in me wasting tons and tons of time with people not looking for the same things as me.

If you say what you are looking for and ask the other person (calmly, and not constantly in bids for reassurance, just authentic curiosity to learn more about the situation) and get a confusing response that doesn't get clearer or more consistent over time and as the honeymoon period cools off, then the other person probably has insecure attachment also and you just have to figure out if that works for you without triggering you every which way.

The other reason I suggested maybe you've got more work to do before you really jump back into dating is to get more comfortable with being able to communicate in these ways and handle disappointment and rejection without also getting triggered anxious or avoidant on top of it.