|
|
Post by 8675309 on Nov 3, 2019 11:48:05 GMT
I thought this was a great video.
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Nov 3, 2019 12:16:05 GMT
8675309 this is a fantastic video! I haven't seen him before, I like him!
|
|
|
|
Post by 8675309 on Nov 3, 2019 16:09:24 GMT
He has some great stuff. Geared towards women but men can benefit too. The video dives past crumbing too.
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Nov 3, 2019 16:28:01 GMT
He has some great stuff. Geared towards women but men can benefit too. The video dives past crumbing too. Point 2 is what I liked the most- he moves it away from a victim mentality and into urging corrective action on the part of the person accepting such treatment. That's where the answer lies. I like how he acknowledges that the situation sucks and is difficult to correct, but that ultimately, it's up to the one being breadcrumbed to choose their own actions in it. Like he said, it only takes ONE partner to reciprocate. If you spend all your time stuck with someone who isn't, then you arrest your own progress toward the one who will. Also, I appreciate that he acknowledges that it's possible and preferable to walk away from an imbalanced situation, with balance. It isn't necessary to demonize someone for not being available- if you are truly available and secure you can wish that person the very best, and release them and wish them well. Again, he acknowledges that this can be difficult and painful but that lots of things in life are difficult and painful. It's a very mature and empowered point of view. Thanks for sharing! |
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Nov 3, 2019 18:03:55 GMT
|
|
|
|
Post by 8675309 on Nov 3, 2019 19:32:23 GMT
I dont want crumbs I want the whole cake! LOL Ive strait said that to my avoidant.
I liked you cant pave with crumbs.
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Nov 3, 2019 19:40:02 GMT
I dont want crumbs I want the whole cake! LOL Ive strait said that to my avoidant.
I liked you cant pave with crumbs.
Right? That was funny. I can't remember exactly what he said but it was like "The road to (a mutual, committed relationship) is not paved with breadcrumbs." I've said nearly same to flaky suitors... If I am going to be in something I want it to actually be something. I am not a relationship-by-text person. Anyway, I really like this guy. I'll look up more of his stuff. I have adult children that I like to have resources for as well, I think my daughter would enjoy this video. She has learned so much in her dating experiences, and actually has been able to apply her knowledge of attachment theory (now that we all talk about that as a family) to step out of situations that weren't healthy for her. |
|
|
|
Post by 8675309 on Nov 3, 2019 19:43:25 GMT
Some others to look up. Coach Craig Kenneth Susan Winter The School of Life Dr Todd Grande, Personal Development School - Thais Gibson Alan Robarge / Attachment Trauma Therapist The Love Chat The Dating Guy Psych2Go Ross Rosenberg
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Nov 3, 2019 19:47:20 GMT
I've seen Thais Gibson (❤️) and I like Todd Grande too. I'll check out some of the others!
I had NO teaching about relationships and self care from my parents, which isn't surprising due to their lack of emotional health. But it's part of the neglectful upbringing, and I really am trying to give my children exposure to all of these concepts so that they can navigate their relationships with awareness. So far it's been helpful. It's one way that technology opens doors to better relating, which is kind of funny because it also inhibits healthy relating in so many ways. But that's another can of worms. Lol!
|
|
|
|
Post by 8675309 on Nov 3, 2019 19:52:48 GMT
I wish this stuff like this was around back in my 20's when I dated that narc. This was 25 years ago. Nobody can prepare you for a true narc and I had to get through it alone not understanding. Narcs can hit any attachment style!
I hear ya on unhealthy relating, its one of the reasons I ditched personal social media.
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Nov 3, 2019 20:01:01 GMT
Social media can be detrimental to relationships, especially if time is spent scoping out an unavailable person. Also, communicating via text vs voice and in person contributes a lot to the problem of unavailability. Both people are unavailable in my opinion, if the relationship only involves texting. There are a lot of things I wish I had available earlier in life, but actually some I wish I didn't. Ah well, live and learn!
|
|
|
|
Post by pebbles on Nov 5, 2019 1:16:22 GMT
Great video. The part about the addictive part of the relationship is spot on. I come here every time I am tempted to sample breadcrumbs and all of you help me so much.
|
|
