Overcoupling and the stress response

Good stuff. I often shorthand this by saying projection. Good to know there's a more specific term.

mmm how is this different from being triggered? it sounds similar to me.

It's when unrelated things become related and develop a certain meaning for you. Say you broke your ankle severely 5 years ago. Painful traumatic history.

You're walking down the sidewalk on a sunny day, you step wrong and fall off the edge of the curb, and feel a sharp pain in your ankle. Some college students sitting smoking cigarettes on a nearby bench yell "Be careful!".

You think to yourself "Fuck you!" because you're really angry at their condescending remark- of course you know to be careful. But you're really activated in your sympathetic state, fight, because of the accident, pain, and past trauma.

Replaying the sequence, you had noticed walking, people, cigarette smoke, anger. Your nervous system can over couple some of that, create a relationship that doesn't have meaning beyond that event. You may now associate anger with people and smoking, and can go so far as to commit yourself to an anti smoking campaign, if you are not aware of the over coupling. Yes, it is a trigger but I wanted to explain the relationships, outside of what we think of as relationship triggers because it can happen with anything.

In undercoupling the opposite occurs. Things that would have a natural relationship to each other are not associated. For an avoidant yes that could be partner not associated with love. But it can happen with anything, naturally connected things becoming disconnected, because of some trauma or nervous system over ride and dampening of the nervous system. Someone who escapes reality through meditation and does not deal directly with problems (which can happen- escape meditation instead of insight) can have undercoupling, as can a jet pilot who feels no fear, etc.

I may not have everything exactly right as I am new to the concept and it was only recently explained to me. I find it very helpful.

Phobias, aversions, unhealthy attractions, etc might be understood through coupling dynamics.

Overcoupling and undercoupling can be resolved through work with the nervous system around the events that led to it. I'm experiencing some of both of these processes in SE therapy.

Yes, meditation can be a form of undercoupling.  My SE therapist gave that example as a zenned our meditator using escapism as a form of freeze, the avoidant adaptation .

Very likely he was stuck in freeze response.  For me, meditation is not a good practice because it can take me deeper to disconnection, even if that's not my intention.  I have to be careful to not just be coping with myself, a well worn pattern for me of going within to self regulate and isolate.  I have to practice sharing and connection.  Of course I value insight into my feelings and thoughts and that can be an outcome of meditation- but so can isolation and coping and distancing from the reality of the internal state.  Freeze. 

It's not a fault- it's a condition.  My nervous system isolates me due to conditioning.  Body awareness is good, and Somatic work helps me a lot.  But if I close off and just turn all my focus inward, I can lose myself to the habit of self regulating to the exclusion of connection. 

I think meditation may perhaps be very helpful for someone who has trouble self regulating.  For me, mindful practice of being in the moment while engaged in things outside myself is an avenue of growth.  Engaged and aware, and not just closed inside myself.  For now I am avoiding any meditation at all because it takes me the wrong way.  Mindful awareness in interaction is my key to emotional growth and awareness it seems. 

Bump!