Post by tnr9 on Mar 26, 2020 3:01:52 GMT
Therapy is going well...and I have found myself less clenched recently...still not completely through it, but getting better.
i have also come to realize that my mom has really tight boundaries...those are hers and I am not responsible for them. She and I will never have a close relationship, which is sad, but....it frees me to stop trying to please her or feel like I am to blame. I just work around them to the best of my ability and try not to take her agitations personally.
iam beginning to see B and my mom with shades of gray versus viewing them as completely white and me as completely black. I feel less responsible towards my mom and thus less responsible towards B. I am finally on a path of realizing that the issues that B expressed while with me are likely still there and as much as loved his sense of humor, his attractiveness, his protectiveness and other traits, his shutting down, his use of alcohol, his dislike of talking about the relationship and other traits are not aspects that simply go away. Perhaps his new gf can handle it differently....but still....he isn’t healed as the stories in my head wanted me to believe. I am keeping in no contact and so far it has really helped.
i have also come to realize that my mom has really tight boundaries...those are hers and I am not responsible for them. She and I will never have a close relationship, which is sad, but....it frees me to stop trying to please her or feel like I am to blame. I just work around them to the best of my ability and try not to take her agitations personally.
iam beginning to see B and my mom with shades of gray versus viewing them as completely white and me as completely black. I feel less responsible towards my mom and thus less responsible towards B. I am finally on a path of realizing that the issues that B expressed while with me are likely still there and as much as loved his sense of humor, his attractiveness, his protectiveness and other traits, his shutting down, his use of alcohol, his dislike of talking about the relationship and other traits are not aspects that simply go away. Perhaps his new gf can handle it differently....but still....he isn’t healed as the stories in my head wanted me to believe. I am keeping in no contact and so far it has really helped.
