Fury

For me, the key was just really accepting that this has happened (to me). Beginning to heal really just means... to stop picking at the scabs of the past, wash it out, let it be. Healing happens almost automatically, when you start taking care of the wound and letting it be (as opposed to picking at it and blaming yourself for having it in the first place). Getting rid of the scars formed from healing (i.e., dont have baggage) is the real work! It's like popping a pimple then constantly picking at it. Even after it does heal, you gotta start applying creams and lasers to get rid of scars. lol.

I think that having awareness of this emotion and the motivation behind it is the first step to healing, and now it's time to FEEL the emotion because you still THINK it. Allowing all that suppressed emotion to be expressed i.e., feeling it and accepting it, is like washing out the wound - youre getting rid of all the dirt and sand in your wound so that it can start its own process.

for classification, i started with childhood emotional neglect, since I had also identified parental origins. Also, you should have a think about your mum or other parental figures in your life, besides your dad, and how they might have helped or contributed to the situation. Most of my anger directed at my mum, but honestly, my dad was also part of the equation; understanding how their relationship worked and how they were as individuals, a couple, and as parents, and how all of that related to me, was helpful in identifying that I wasn't the core problem, but that we all have just a small part to play in the web of things.

psychcentral.com/blog/how-childhood-emotional-neglect-affects-relationships/

seeking, I understand exactly what you mean. I also struggle with that fury and rage in the face of rejection, to the point where I've wondered if I'm a narcissist, or borderline. I simply cannot let it go in my own mind, I do not know how to not take it personally. When someone rejects me or breaks up with me, the very sight of them online or in public sets me off for YEARS after the fact. I don't wish for their happiness. I don't forgive them. I can only have positive feelings for an ex if I'm the one who left.

Outwardly, I'm (almost) always gracious and polite to those who left me. But inside I'm seething, envious, and vengeful. I definitely felt rejected/neglected by my parents, but of course, as a small child, I couldn't rage against them, so I suppose that's where it stems from.

As for what attachment style? Personally, I lean towards AP, but sometimes swing over to FA when pursued. I'm definitely learning to seek out people who seem "lit up" by me, and moving away faster from anyone showing half-hearted interest. So that's progress.