Sex, lovemaking, your sexual blueprint, attatchmentstyles

Low sex drive in young women - can it really be true?

Yes, young women can easily experience that. I would actually go so far as to say that it is much more normal than one might just expect.

1) Are you tired?
Too little Sleep or lack of sleep is really a sex drive killer, and it even one of the really big ones.
When you sleep, your body recovers.
It is during your sleep that your body recharges, cleanses toxins and waste products, regenerates, digests the impression of the day and in general gets the battery charged.
"You can sleep when you grow old", you have probably heard several times, but you should not listen to it - what you should listen to instead is your body.
Your body is wise, and the more you listen AND respect what it tells you, as well as meet the needs it has, the more you can expect it to cooperate and give you what you want.
You can easily tolerate having a few days in a row where you do not get enough sleep, but then you must also return to the good rhythm.
Studies show that among young people between the ages of 18 and 29, it is approx. 1/4 who sleeps far too little. 19% in the study indicated that they sleep an average of 6 hours, and a further 5% that they only sleep between 0-5 hours a day!
"Lack of sleep / a general sleep deficit over a long period of time can mean a mess in the relationship between the resource hormone DHEA and the stress hormone cortisol.
DHEA is the precursor to all our sex hormones, but lack of sleep and increased stress in everyday life in general, means that it is used to produce stress hormones instead.
Which of course affects the sex drive "

What to do next:
If you are one of the many who get too little sleep, then there is actually only one thing to do, namely to start going to bed earlier. It's actually not much anymore. During a first week, you will already feel a renewed surplus and over the next few weeks, you will quietly feel the sex drive come back.

2) Are you stressed?
As a natural extension of the section on sleep, we now need to talk about stress. 
If you experience stress symptoms just often enough, or if you have more than once within the last 24 hours .....
A recent report on "mental health of children and adolescents" showed, frighteningly enough, that the number of young women and men with anxiety, depression and stress has never been higher. The study also showed that the number of young women (16-24 years) who are often stressed has doubled in the period 2005-2013.

If you are busy for a while, it is rarely a problem, but if you start to experience definite stress and stress symptoms over a long period of time, then you should be aware that it can cause problems with sexual desire.

In addition, the sex hormone testosterone actually plays a role in women's sex drive, even though women on average only have 1/10 compared to men.
When we are very stressed and know that we should actually call our workplace and tell that we are sick, then the body is budy producing cortisol, which is the stress hormone that is produced when we go from busyness to stress - so to speak.

Cortisol and testosterone are built from the same building blocks, and the body actually considers cortisol to be most important. This is one of the reasons why both men and women can experience that the desire for sex disappears completely during a very stressful period.

Another reason why sex drive is affected during stressful period is actually also that stress takes place in the brain at the thought level and it is the thoughts that cause your body to react and run in extremely high gear. Your wise body really just cooperates with you and gives you a response to the thoughts you, more or less consciously, make you.

When your body is running in high gears and the engine is overheated, it can be difficult to just "cool the engine off" just because you lie down under the duvet.

In practice, this means that your body is still in stress alert when you go to bed, and in that state it is almost impossible for most people to experience the desire for sex because it does not make logical sense for the body to reproduce and go into pleasure-pussy-cuddle mode when she thinks she's on the run or needs to solve an important task.

What to do next:
If it is you who is stressed and with low or no sex drive, then you need to get your stress level down.

There are many ways you can do this.

Some find joy in meditation, some yoga, some take a few hours with a psychologist or therapist and are taught to "control the mind so the mind do not run wild", some report sick and pull the plug for a period, some change jobs, some work less hours per day, some start going to bed an hour earlier, to better handle the day's tasks.

One thing is for sure: make a plan and follow it. Find out what is stressing you and start dealing with those problems while giving your body the opportunity for recovery, then it should probably start going in the right direction, and often quickly.

3) How are you really doing?
As the study showed us, there are a lot of young women who are actually not feeling very well.

In addition, there are a lot of young women who struggle with both self-esteem and self-confidence, and who are constantly in doubt about whether " am I good enough" or "can I do this well enough".

All that uncertainty is thoughts that can drive one insane!

It's actually really hard to do something you really want to do if you constantly focus on "whether I'm good enough".

It does not matter if it is when you have fun with your girlfriends, ride a horse, go out and buy clothes, or you have sex with your partner.

If the thoughts are constantly grinding in the background, and you are basically insecure about yourself, well, then it actually often affects the desire to feel like going to bed with your boyfriend.

Because if I'm lying in the bed and am insecurel, I do not feel at all that I'm in any way nice enough or good enough for this, and it just ends up with a so-so experience anyway, where I still could not relax properly, well ....

So why have sex?
The body can simply start saying, "No, thank you - why should I go in for another bad experience, I just feel even worse with myself?"

"If you are unsure all the time about whether you are good enough, beautiful enough, sexy enough, delicious enough, then it can be really hard to feel what you really want.
Precisely because you are constantly focused on your thoughts, and not on the signals your body tells you - they are actually drowned out.
Seek a therapist and get your mind under control and regai  confidence, and when it's in place, it also helps to be able to feel and react to the body's signals again. "

What to do next:
If you are struggling with your self-esteem and self-confidence and you very often have negative thoughts about yourself, then I would recommend that you commit then over the next 12 months, that should change.

4) Do you affect your hormones? (without knowing it)
Our hormones help to control our spontaneous sex drive, how quickly we become turned on, horny and "ready", but also how fast we are "ready for" and want sex again after the last sexual experience.

Namely birth control with hormones ...

Several studies in recent years show a  picture (which both doctors and gynecologists have known for years), namely that some women actually lose the desire when they start taking birth control pills or taking other forms of birth control prevention with hormones.

According to doctor Marilyn Glenville, birth control pills reduce the amount of testosterone, and then we are left with the same trouble as with stress and lack of sleep.
At the University Hospital of Tübingen in Germany, a study was done of 1000 women's desire for sex. The women who took birth control pills generally had less desire for sex than all the other women in the study.
At the Sexological Clinic, Psychiatric Center Copenhagen, the cases have also been investigated. The first results have already been published in "The Journal of Sexual Medicine", these results show i.a. a link between the level of testosterone in the blood and sex drive.

What to do next:
If you suspect that it is your birth control that may be to blame for your low or lack of desire, then try to change the form of birth control prevention for a period of time and see if it has an effect.

5) Do you take antidepressant medication 

it is important to know that the medicine can affect sexuality, and I have talked to a number of people afterwards, where the doctor just forgot to inform about this.

Just try to consider what it might mean for the life of the individual patient (maybe you) that the doctor forgot to state this!

The medicine can affect your ability to ejaculate and orgasm, your ability to get turned on and horny, your ability to lubricate (that is, get wet), and it can affect your ability to feel your desire.

There are many alternative forms of help for both anxiety and depression.

One could be MetaCognitive Therapy.

What to do next:
If you suspect that it is your medication that is affecting your sex drive, talk to your doctor about whether you can change brand, or whether it may be time to get a lower dose and test whether it has an effect. You can also consider whether there are other ways than using medications you want to work on your anxiety or depression.

6) Do you have problems in the relationship?

That we experience problems, solve them together as a team (even though it is sometimes difficult for dogs!), And come out on the other side - together - stronger.
Either you find it difficult in some way, or your partner does, or there are just some things in the relationship that you can not agree on, or that can not be decided, or something completely different, and that lies and rodents for a period of time.

But sometimes, one party in the relationship has some inappropriate ways of behaving - e.g. not wanting to take responsibility, for hurting the other, saying something that made you sad, etc.

Maybe your partner will not help solve the problems you are experiencing - but sticks his head in the sand.
Maybe your partner will not listen to you when you say that there is something you miss and seem uninterested in helping to meet your needs.
Maybe you do not feel loved at all.
Maybe your boyfriend would rather sit 5 hours in front of the computer every night than just occasionally watch a movie with you, have a good dinner, have a deep talk, go for a walk, go to bed early - or some other "you and me-time" "

There can actually be many really good reasons why you not only lose your sex drive, but that you lose the desire for your boyfriend. In fact, low sex drive in young women is often the result of a bad relationship that does not really move in a better direction even if you really try.

If your boyfriend makes you uneasy in some way, or you doubt if it really should be the two of you due to the state of the relationship, it can be really hard to feel like being intimate with him, and lying there in bed, naked , bare and vulnerable.

In fact, studies show that women's sexual desire is more influenced by psychosocial factors (eg whether they are comfortable in a relationship) than men's sexual desire. And of course you have to take that into account when you experience low sex drive.

What to do next:
Ask yourself the question: "Have I lost the desire for sex in general, or is it only the desire for my partner that I have lost?" - Consider whether there is "something" in your relationship that needs adjustments, something that really gets you going. Something you miss, want more of - or less of, for that matter. And then you have to insist that it be looked at. Maybe you can solve the problems yourself, maybe you need to drop by a couple therapist. But take responsibility for taking your relationship to the next level and explain to your boyfriend how your sex drive is affected by the state of your relationship.

7) If you have said "A", you must also say "B" - the syndrome
Am I allowed to say no?

What happens if I feel like it at first, but then I lose it - or actually do not bother anyway?

Sex should be enjoyable - sex is not, has never been and should not in the future be "something" you "just do" because you "should".

STOP!

Just try to make "the reverse" - would you want to have sex with your boyfriend if he really did not want to?

No, well!

It's true that you can feel good if you just give it a try - use your knowledge of your body and trigger your ignition and otherwise feel like being intimate with your partner - but sometimes, you really have no lust - and it's actually ok!

Many young women have learned that when you have said A, you must also say B ...

Therefore, you may have had a lot of sex that you did not really want - or that was uncomfortable for you, but you should "just get over with".

I can promise you that if you use that strategy, you will not feel like it in the long run ...

What to do next:
If you are one of the (many) young women who repeatedly have sex that you do not feel like, then you should practice saying "no thank you", and if it is really difficult for you, then I would recommend you to seek professional help. Remember that - sex should be great. 
The nicer it is, the easier it is to say "Yes, thank you" - and the easier it is to feel that you want to take the initiative.

A clinical sexologist, phd, couples councelor

A mature couple has been out to eat, had some wine, looked each other in the eyes, and a wonderful moment has arisen. A crack in everyday life and routines. They laugh and flirt and fall over on the bed and kiss. Jo’s husband, Rob (played by Christopher Eccleston), then goes straight to the point, pulling the panties off her and put his hand down between his wife’s legs. Here he discovers that she is not wet and that the sudden touch hurts her and then says something along the lines of: "I think we will need the good old…", while he finds a tube of lube.

Vaginal dryness is definitely not something we usually see treated in popular culture. It's more something that girlfriends whisper to each other or do discrete google searches on. In any case, I have never seen the subject covered on TV before, maybe a little with Samantha in ‘Sex and The City’, but not quite down in the panties as with the scene in ‘Close to me’.

In porn, women are almost always poked and pushed into lube as something naughty and part of a game, while there is a whimsical contrast between the non-needs of young porn models and the very tangible needs of mature women for add moisture.

Back to ‘Close to me’ where Rob asks Jo if he should lubricate and she says no, gets embarrassed and angry and starts lubricating herself. And cut. The opportunity has passed and we sense that there will be no more hanky panky happening that night.

But what would have happened if the two people had given themselves a little more time and space for the new vulnerability that has moved into their love life? If Rob had been less busy, if Jo had felt less wrong. If they had a language for what Jo is experiencing? 

Menopause is a 10-year period in all women's lives, where everything changes physically, mentally, physically, but which is still invisible and taboo, and that is why it is so important that a beautiful, strong, sexy woman like Connie Nielsen takes menopause with her. into h this TV series

Connie Nielsen herself has said in interviews that she thought it was important to show a woman's menopause. For Jo is a woman in crisis, but she is also a woman in transition from one phase to the next. We feel her pain over the children moving away from home. That she is suddenly in the grandmother category. She fills, like so many other mature women, her newfound time with book club, girlfriends and volunteer work, while at the same time she mourns a disappearing desire and misses a look at herself that she has been used to in the first part of his female life. She fantasizes about young men. About sudden sex and surprising lust while lying sweaty and sleepless at night, rejecting her husband's slightly clumsy touches.

youtu.be/H1uEo11OPmM

Stress and sex

Do you live a stressful life?

Have you ever wondered how it affects your sex drive?

If you’re stressed for extended periods of time, chances are your sex life will begin to suffer, which only adds to your to already high stress levels. Your mind is no longer focused on the things you need to get done, but instead on questions such as:

Where has my sex drive gone?

Why does it take me longer to get in the mood?

Why do I lose my focus?

Why am I having difficulties having an orgasm?

Myths do more harm than good
Let’s be honest, people tend to keep stress to themselves. And the thing is, if you manage to muster up the courage to talk to someone about what you’re experiencing, you may find that their response only increases your anxiety about your frustrating sex life.

I’ve heard many myths about stress and sex over the years working with more than 1,000 individuals in my private practice. Here are three of the most common ones.

If stress affects your romantic feelings for your partner, you may as well get divorced.
Once your sex drive disappears, it doesn’t come back
If your partner doesn’t desire you because they’re stressed, this means they don’t love you anymore.
These myths are devastating, because as soon as you convince yourself that “the damage is done,” then what’s really left but to throw in the towel? Give up? Admit defeat? You end up either surrendering to a passive attitude, where you don’t look for help, or worse, you file for divorce.

This is why it’s extremely important to seek proper guidance and learn how stress affects your sex drive. Familiarising yourself with the ins and outs makes it easier for you to navigate through these problems as a couple. One thing is absolutely certain: the stressed partner is not the only one who suffers.

Why stress affects your sex drive
If partners can’t manage stress as a team, the relationship suffers. Here are three ways stress affects your sex drive.

The two nervous systems
Human beings have two nervous systems. The sympathetic nervous system is the accelerator and the parasympathetic nervous system is the brake. We use the accelerator when we experience difficulties and challenges in life.

Whenever this happens, our stress response (the accelerator) is released in our bodies. This happens physically: your heart rate increases, your palms get sweaty, you experience inner discomfort. All of these things are really just your body providing you with a shot of energy to either fight the problems or to run away from them.

As soon as the challenge has been dealt with, and the danger has passed, the accelerator will be relieved by the brake. Ah, another challenge has been solved. Now you can relax.

But…

When we experience stress over a long period of time, it may actually feel as though our accelerator has gotten stuck. Our body is working overtime, all the time, and we never actually allow our brakes to kick in.

Our sexuality goes hand in hand with our brakes. Naturally, and biologically speaking, it does not make sense for us to enjoy an erotic touch or to lie around kissing our partner if our stress pedal is hitting the metal. Stress and sex drive do not mix. You simply cannot have a head full of 120 worries while also having great sex.

Your hormones change
When the accelerator has been in overdrive for a long period of time, you body will actually begin to produce more cortisol – this is known as “the stress hormone.” The building blocks used in this process are the very same building blocks used to produce the male sex hormone testosterone. Therefore, for most people with long-lasting stress symptoms, their testosterone production is reduced.

According to Norwegian doctor, psychiatrist, and clinical sexologist Haakon Aars, testosterone is the sex hormone with the greatest significance to sex drive in both men and women. This means that your sex drive decreases due to completely logical physiological reasons.

Closeness is replaced by absence
Your sexuality is not only affected by hormones, but also by social, relational, and psychological factors. When the stress hormones kick in, closeness is replaced by absence. It is nearly impossible to be present – to listen and to be interested in the people around you – if you’re feeling stressed out. It’s hard to deal with anyone but yourself.

The stress hormones pumping through your body are encouraging you to either fight or flight. This can even lead to you being aggressive towards your partner. You might start to snap at them or yell at them. The people you normally love having around you can suddenly feel like a source of irritation because they demand time with you.

All of this doesn’t leave much room for closeness with your partner, and slowly but surely, the intimacy starts to fall away. As days turn to weeks, what you’re usually depositing into your Emotional Bank Account, as Dr. John Gottman calls it, becomes less and less.

When your presence and your intimacy fade away, and your aggression and irritation skyrockets, it’s only natural for insecurities to increase. In most cases, this equals a considerably lowered lust for intimacy and sexual contact.

What can you do?
When your sexuality is giving you a hard time, you need to address the underlying problem. Here is what I recommend that you do.

Talk to your partner about stress

Anyone can experience stress and there’s absolutely nothing to feel ashamed of. We’re all at risk of experiencing stress. Have a daily stress reducing conversation.

Decide to handle this as a team
The more of a team you are, fighting this stress together, the better. It will not only increase your sense of unity but also show you that this is something you were are able to get through together.

Accept that your sex drive will fluctuate
Your sex drive will be low sometimes and that’s okay. Accept that it might take a little while to get back into the swing of things. This is perfectly normal and if you can accept this, you can still have a lovely sex life during this time too. What you need to remember though is that it’ll take longer for your body to feel aroused, and you will need to focus on allowing the ‘brake nervous system’ to kick in.

Focus on activating your brake
The more you can do this, the more you’re actually fighting the stress itself. This is where cuddles and kisses, hugs, and other loving touch can help. It simply forces the body to go from stress to relaxation, if you allow this. Kiss your stressed out partner a little bit more and hug them for 20 seconds longer. You could even offer them a nice 30 minute massage etc.

The manual for the woman's menstrual cycle! When you as a man understand it (and use it actively), you are far ahead of all other men.

A womans Sex drive is affected by her cycle

As a man, you probably already know that it is not always that you and your partners sex drive are synchronous. Maybe yours is bigger than hers. Or maybe hers is bigger than yours.
But did you know that her sex drive often peaks around ovulation? Ovulation is about in the middle of menstruation, and this is where she is most fertile - that is, it is now that she can get pregnant. So nature has cleverly designed her so that she has even more desire for sex during this period.
This also means that there are other days when she does not have as high a sex drive. And that's okay.
Women often feel pressured to have the same desire every day - but that's not how they are designed at all. If a man understands - and contains it - then it gives her peace and space not to feel wrong. And there is nothing that acts as a greater aphrodisiac on a woman than to feel understood and loved as she is.

This does not mean that we women only want sex around ovulation. Because nature has also designed us uniquely that we can have sex at all times of the cycle (whereas most other mammals only have it around ovulation).
It just means she may need a different approach at times when the sex drive is not as high. If your girlfriend uses hormonal contraception such as birth control pills or IUDs, she probably has no cycle. They work in most cases by shutting down ovulation. She may still have a bleeding, but she will not go through the hormonal fluctuations that the cycle controls. She may still experience fluctuations and need care and support from you, but then there are often other factors that affect the shifts, such as crises at work or a bad night's sleep. Be aware that hormone contraception can also have side effects such as lowering sex drive and increasing the risk of depression.

There are also some women who experience increased sex drive up to menstruation - or during menstruation. It's individual, so it's about getting to know your woman. When does she take the initiative for sex? When does she feel less like it? It would not surprise me if you could start to see a pattern that fits her cycle. And when you know that pattern, then you know, for example, when to plan the weekend trip with the boys and when it's time to take her on a romantic weekend.

Step carefully as a man But what about love? In a long-term relationship, conflicts will inevitably arise, and it is often the same core conflict that returns again and again as a ghost that one cannot get rid of. However, there is one point in a woman's cycle where I would tread carefully as a man. It's the week up to her period. You can call it the ‘pick-a-fight’ week, because her fuse is shorter, she is more sensitive and more insecure about herself now. In short - she is almost self-igniting.
Around day 21 of the cycle, a hormone called progesterone peaks, which has a calming effect on her. But it starts to fall towards menstruation if she has not gotten pregnant. And when we take a sedative hormone away from the body, then it can give the feeling of anxiety and restlessness in the body. So it is not her fault or on purpose that she is sensitive and takes things a little more personally than she usually does.

However, it is important that the cycle is not used as an excuse to behave unreasonably. So feel free to remind her where she is in her cycle and encourage her to take care of her own needs. Be patient, but also remember your own boundaries. The hormones can affect and control her, but she should also use her cycle to learn to accommodate and love all aspects of herself. However, if she has very severe PMS, it may be due to a hormonal imbalance and then I would encourage her to seek help.

But men also have a cycle - a daily cycle, which is controlled by testosterone. Testosterone is highest in the morning and decreases slowly during the day. For example, it may make him feel that he has energy and drive in the morning, and in the evening is a little tired and has a focus on recharging.
Hormonally speaking, a man looks like himself from day to day. But he is not as predictable as we might think, because testosterone can be affected by many things. For example, what age he is, whether he is married or not, whether he has children, and whether he has seen an attractive woman that day.
But if you take any given woman with a normal menstrual cycle and find out where she is in her cycle - then you can quite easily predict how she will feel.

For What can you use the cycle ?
Personally, I think we could create far better relationships if the sexes started to understand each other a little better.
That men became curious about how a woman changes during the month - and that we as women do not try to make men women and think that they understand what it is like to have a cycle.

When a man shakes his head and says, "Can a cycle really affect you SO much?", We should not blame him. Because how could he know what it is like if he has never experienced it? Let us instead practice explaining to each other what it is like to be in our different bodies so that we can compliment each other and harness each other's strengths.

I was wondering how many divorces and relationship problems could have been avoided or reduced if we dared to talk more about the menstrual cycle. Unfortunately, it has been a taboo for a long time and something that few people are able talk about over the dining table.
So it starts with us beginning to understand how it affects us and talking about it with each other.

Of course, the cycle cannot explain everything. Crises and unforeseen events in life can all help to affect our relationships. But the cycle is an important factor that we do not talk enough about.

I would encourage you - man and woman - to see the menstrual cycle as a template.
If there was a manual for women, it's this one.
It is not about you as a man being subject to the fluctuations of a woman. But if you want a happier partner who feels loved and gives all her love to you, then you are far ahead of other men if you understand her cycle and design your relationship accordingly around this.

Share the following chart together as a couple:

- Follicular - Dry phase, libido moderate - do something new together, preferably outside and physical to generate oxytocin (bonding hormone) as foreplay
- Ovulatory - Wet phase, testosterone surge, libido high, verbal/social centers of brain active - talk about fantasies, go out on a date with another couple or friends, go to a party or event, so much pleasure easily at your fingertips to create for your partner - don’t miss any spots
- Luteal - Wet phase, testosterone waning, libido still high - do your version of Netflix and chill, maybe pick a more erotic show to get you both thinking about sex at the same time, do not go out with friends this phase, be together, cook together, do things together, need 20 min at least on clitoral stimulation to achieve a climax
- Menstrual - Dry phase, all hormones low, many women love having sex during this phase, but lube needed, and plenty of attention given to clitoris before any vaginal stimulation would take place, spend more than 20 minutes just on clitoral stimulation

A hormonal expert, a hormonal yoga teascher

Tantra massages connect with parts and aspects of yourself which usually don’t get much attention. get in touch with your feminine nature, sensuality, pleasure, and your ability to be ecstatic!

Benefits
HEALING EFFECTS
BIGGER CAPACITY FOR PLEASURE
ENHANCED ORGASMIC-NESS
EXPANSION
Awaken your erotic energy and unlock your potentials
It helps in awakening your sensuality, having a peaceful state of mind, enjoying the pleasure, and feeling love in the present moment.

You are highly likely to experience your endless ecstatic potential. But all reactions are equally welcome. The best is to simply observe them without reacting to any of them.


Yoni massage – Awaken as a woman
Yoni massage - a revival of your femininity

A yoni massage is a gentle and respectful massage of your yoni (vulva) with the purpose of awakening your entire femininity.
Your masseur will ask you during the massage if you want to receive a yoni massage (if you have chosen package 2 or 3). It is important that you feel for what feels right for you in that moment.

If you choose to receive a yoni massage, the masseur starts with a gentle touch of your yoni's outer parts, followed by a loving and respectful massage of the inner, where the masseur uses his fingers. Of course you have the option to stop the massage if you wish along the way.

Benefits of yoni massage
HEALING OF PSYCHO-EMOTIONAL TRAUMAS
REVITALIZATION AND BALANCE OF ENERGY
GET IN CONTACT WITH THE FEMININE ESSEN AGAIN
INCREASED SENSITIVITY IN SEX
AWAKENING OF INNER PASSION AND ORGASTIC ABILITY

Chose a place where they are respectfull and have got good recomendations.

Recommended by a female se-attatchmenttherapist and a sexologist

Low sexdrive:

Cause & treatment

Low sex drive can manifest itself in a lack of urge for sex, very few sexual thoughts or fantasies and difficulty in getting aroused and maintaining the desire. It can contribute to frustrations both in oneself and in a relationship. More women than we think, especially in the 20s and 30s, experience low sex drive, and over 40% of all women have experienced periods of low sex drive. A study also showed that approx. 20% of women under 35 experienced low sex drive and another study showed that 15% of men experience low sex drive.
There can be several reasons that contribute to low sex drive:

Stress
Cortisol affects the sex hormones, and can help lower testosterone, which among other things drives sex drive. On the other hand, sex reduces stress because it increases the hormone oxytocin.

Overweight / self-conscious
High amounts of body fat can mean increased estrogen in the body. Too high levels of estrogen can reduce the amount of testosterone. If you also have difficulty with what your body looks like, whether you are overweight or not, it can also help to lower your sex drive.

Systemic inflammation When inflammation is increased in the body, its focus is on healing rather than reproduction, and it may be during periods of illness or chronic inflammation that you experience lower sex drive. Inflammation increases cortisol in the body, which can lead to lower testosterone. If you experience that this is the problem, I would focus on digestion to lower the level of inflammation in the body.

Lack of body fat / overtraining When our body lacks fat or if we exercise more than we can handle, the body may interpret it as a sign that survival is threatened and it may lower sex drive and focus on reproduction. If we do not have enough fat, we may also have more difficulty in the production of the sex hormones, which are formed by cholesterol. Overtraining increases cortisol, which we have seen can help lower testosterone. If this is the reason behind, it will be a good idea to focus on turning down exercise and, among other things, turning up fat intake well.

Birth control pills, especially over a long period of time Birth control pills increase SHBG (Sex-Hormone-Binding-Globulin), which is a substance that binds to testosterone. Research shows that your SHBG levels can be elevated up to 6 months after stopping taking birth control pills (and possibly permanently), so birth control pills can also affect sex drive after you quit.

Medicine Some types of medication such as antidepressants, antihistamines, beta-blockers and drugs such as cannabis can also help to reduce sex drive. Get help from a doctor or other healthcare professional to assess if there is another solution if you want to get out of these types of medications. Follow if necessary. Kelly Brogan for more information.

Medical conditions Diseases and conditions such as PCOS, low metabolism, diabetes and cardiovascular disease can also lower sex drive. Low metabolism and cardiovascular disease can increase inflammation in the body, which in turn leads to lower sex hormones. Although PCOS increases testosterone levels, too much testosterone can also lower sex drive.

Diabetes can affect the nerves in the vulva and make it harder to achieve orgasm. Chronic high blood sugar also helps to lower testosterone.

Low estrogen During menopause, women may find that as estrogen decreases, so does their sex drive. Lower estrogen will often lead to decreased sensitivity around the clitoris, vaginal dryness, less blood flow to the vagina and more difficulty in achieving orgasm. 

Libido killer no. 1 and 3 steps on how to get yours back

Tips from a sexologist

youtu.be/Q5bdUjX-he4