Post by anne12 on Jul 23, 2020 11:32:38 GMT
Make contact with your body
Inhale deeply through your nose and exhale slowly through your mouth (or nose). Do it 3-4 times, it activates your parasympathetic nervous system and therefore makes you more present here and now
Feel that the chair carries your weight (if you are sitting down), that you can safely let your body sink into the chair, it will carry you.
Feel what sensations that are in your body. There will be different kinds in different places in the body e.g. cold - heat, restlessness - calm, heaviness - lightness, tension - relaxation, contraction - expansion, trembling, tingling, growling, electricity, pain, champagne bubbles, etc.
If it is difficult for you to feel the sensations in your body, check out what moods you are feeling. Moods can e.g. be sadness, joy, lightness, liveliness, heaviness, loneliness, abandonment, hopelessness, desire, playful, energetic, optimistic, etc.
Now focus on what you want to make a choice about:
See it, hear it, think about it,
Feel as objectively as possible the sensations in your body and / or your moods when you imagine that xxxxx
There may be several sensations and moods in play at the same time, which can be confusing, but it is as it should be.
Things are rarely either-or but both-and! - or shades.
Either way, there are usually pros and some cons to All things.
You may want to switch between one option and then the other option:
How is it felt in your body / your mood if you choose A ?
How is it felt in your body / your mood if you choose B ?
If it is difficult to distinguish, put 2 chairs infront of eachother..:
When you sit on one chair, it is option A - when you sit on the other chair, it is option B.
Then take turns sitting on one chair and the other chair.
Notice what sensations and moods (not thoughts) and
possibly write down what sensations you feel in the body and the moods you are feeling.
Interpretation of your sensations / moods:
What will your feelings / moods tell you?
The reason why it is good to feel body sensations is that they are relatively without interpretations as opposed to emotions and states.
-agitation in the stomach can e.g. interpreted as fear but also as energy, as a positive excitement that something (new) can happen.
-heaviness can be interpreted as abandonment, but also as "I am here".
Remember that there can be 2 opposing impulses, moods and emotions.
There can also easily be a conflict between head and heart, between reason and emotion
I would recommend that both your head and your heart allowed to influence your choices!
It gives you a more whole and thus satisfying life.
Therefore, listen to what they each say and think about both options
Feel into one side and into the other side.
It's pretty much like communicating in a relationship 😊
Common misinterpretations ”:
Resistance to change aka the unknown is dangerous:
You interpret unrest, feelings of fear and discomfort as a "no" to that possibility, even though it would be really good for you to say yes.
This one can tease you because our old part of the brain (brain stem / reptile brain + midbrain) is focused on survival.
You have survived until this moment by doing what you usually do and possibly. what your parents and perhaps grandparents used to.
This part of the brain will have resistance about doing something new.
Although the new is much more positive for you!
It is called "Resistance to change" and can prevent you from taking exactly the steps that could give you the love life, work life ect that you dream of.
You may know it from the time you said goodbye to a job or a home because you had found something better.
Even though it was obvious that it was better for you, you could have moments of doubt, or unrest or be sad or even afraid of the new…
The known is safe:
It is really the same mechanism as the above just with the reverse sign
It unfolds when something that is NOT good for you feels safe and comfortable,
for example. someone who is reserved towards you / does not really want you, if that was how you experienced your parents.
If you are characterized by the insecure attachment patterns, it will be harder to get a clear and unambiguous response from within through your body.
If you are characterized by the ambivalent attachment pattern, doubts will often cause problems - even if it is a right decision for you.
Yes sometimes WHEN it's the best decision.
Unfortunately, you can not conversely conclude that if you have ambivalent attachment pattern, that then it is a yes when in doubt…
If you are characterized by the disorganized attachment pattern, confusion will typically make you very confused - even if it is a right decision for you.
Yes sometimes WHEN it's the best decision.
Unfortunately, you can not conversely conclude that confusion is a sign that it is the right decision.
Inhale deeply through your nose and exhale slowly through your mouth (or nose). Do it 3-4 times, it activates your parasympathetic nervous system and therefore makes you more present here and now
Feel that the chair carries your weight (if you are sitting down), that you can safely let your body sink into the chair, it will carry you.
Feel what sensations that are in your body. There will be different kinds in different places in the body e.g. cold - heat, restlessness - calm, heaviness - lightness, tension - relaxation, contraction - expansion, trembling, tingling, growling, electricity, pain, champagne bubbles, etc.
If it is difficult for you to feel the sensations in your body, check out what moods you are feeling. Moods can e.g. be sadness, joy, lightness, liveliness, heaviness, loneliness, abandonment, hopelessness, desire, playful, energetic, optimistic, etc.
Now focus on what you want to make a choice about:
See it, hear it, think about it,
Feel as objectively as possible the sensations in your body and / or your moods when you imagine that xxxxx
There may be several sensations and moods in play at the same time, which can be confusing, but it is as it should be.
Things are rarely either-or but both-and! - or shades.
Either way, there are usually pros and some cons to All things.
You may want to switch between one option and then the other option:
How is it felt in your body / your mood if you choose A ?
How is it felt in your body / your mood if you choose B ?
If it is difficult to distinguish, put 2 chairs infront of eachother..:
When you sit on one chair, it is option A - when you sit on the other chair, it is option B.
Then take turns sitting on one chair and the other chair.
Notice what sensations and moods (not thoughts) and
possibly write down what sensations you feel in the body and the moods you are feeling.
Interpretation of your sensations / moods:
What will your feelings / moods tell you?
The reason why it is good to feel body sensations is that they are relatively without interpretations as opposed to emotions and states.
-agitation in the stomach can e.g. interpreted as fear but also as energy, as a positive excitement that something (new) can happen.
-heaviness can be interpreted as abandonment, but also as "I am here".
Remember that there can be 2 opposing impulses, moods and emotions.
There can also easily be a conflict between head and heart, between reason and emotion
I would recommend that both your head and your heart allowed to influence your choices!
It gives you a more whole and thus satisfying life.
Therefore, listen to what they each say and think about both options
Feel into one side and into the other side.
It's pretty much like communicating in a relationship 😊
Common misinterpretations ”:
Resistance to change aka the unknown is dangerous:
You interpret unrest, feelings of fear and discomfort as a "no" to that possibility, even though it would be really good for you to say yes.
This one can tease you because our old part of the brain (brain stem / reptile brain + midbrain) is focused on survival.
You have survived until this moment by doing what you usually do and possibly. what your parents and perhaps grandparents used to.
This part of the brain will have resistance about doing something new.
Although the new is much more positive for you!
It is called "Resistance to change" and can prevent you from taking exactly the steps that could give you the love life, work life ect that you dream of.
You may know it from the time you said goodbye to a job or a home because you had found something better.
Even though it was obvious that it was better for you, you could have moments of doubt, or unrest or be sad or even afraid of the new…
The known is safe:
It is really the same mechanism as the above just with the reverse sign
It unfolds when something that is NOT good for you feels safe and comfortable,
for example. someone who is reserved towards you / does not really want you, if that was how you experienced your parents.
If you are characterized by the insecure attachment patterns, it will be harder to get a clear and unambiguous response from within through your body.
If you are characterized by the ambivalent attachment pattern, doubts will often cause problems - even if it is a right decision for you.
Yes sometimes WHEN it's the best decision.
Unfortunately, you can not conversely conclude that if you have ambivalent attachment pattern, that then it is a yes when in doubt…
If you are characterized by the disorganized attachment pattern, confusion will typically make you very confused - even if it is a right decision for you.
Yes sometimes WHEN it's the best decision.
Unfortunately, you can not conversely conclude that confusion is a sign that it is the right decision.