Post by scheme00 on Oct 25, 2017 19:35:01 GMT
I was "exclusive bf/gf" for one month after about 1.5 years of dating my avoidantly attached now ex-girlfriend. I tried so hard to get her to love me but it was always a losing battle. We had so much fun when we were together but we would only see each other about once per week and she only wanted to text every few days. I took her on many fun trips and always planned amazing dates and evenings together. 3 months ago (before we were "exclusive" she went to France and when she came back she told me she was going to move there with her friends. During our relationship we had a few conversations to which I was made aware that she knew she had a problem connecting and getting close to people. I told her that I understood she needed more space than others and I always made an effort to do so with her which I think she could see.
However, She would not want to have sex after not seeing me for a week and it became infrequent unless I took her on a weekend getaway somewhere. She did not put in any effort into the relationship and never was very interested in knowing me on a personal level. But she liked the attention that I gave her. She loved the fun dates I take her on and spontaneous trips on her weekends off to Las Vegas or San Diego and Santa Barbara. But I'm DONE with putting in effort for this woman. The straw broke the camels back was when i sent her a text at 1pm and she didn't respond until the next day at 11AM because she was out partying with her male friends at the bar. (I stumbled upon via Instagram) She told me she "missed my text, sorry hun." I drove to her house that day and told her the following: "I love you to death but this relationship is not going where I want it to and my needs are not getting met. You are more emotionally distant than I need so I can not see you anymore." Her response was "I know I am more emotionally distant than you need and I know I can not give you that and it sucks because you're such an amazing man." I gave her a hug and got up and left. Fifteen minutes later I got a text message from her that said "thank you for being so patient and understanding with me. You are truly one of the best men that I know and u deserve the same attention and care that u always showed me." I did not respond to the last message.
Im actually doing better than I had anticipated with the breakup but some little part of me has a sliver of hope that she will call or text me and say that she realizes she messed up and wants to try to make it work." That is the only thing that I am struggling with and I am trying to move forward but this breakup has got me in a rut. I put so much patience and time into her.
Thanks for letting me vent.
However, She would not want to have sex after not seeing me for a week and it became infrequent unless I took her on a weekend getaway somewhere. She did not put in any effort into the relationship and never was very interested in knowing me on a personal level. But she liked the attention that I gave her. She loved the fun dates I take her on and spontaneous trips on her weekends off to Las Vegas or San Diego and Santa Barbara. But I'm DONE with putting in effort for this woman. The straw broke the camels back was when i sent her a text at 1pm and she didn't respond until the next day at 11AM because she was out partying with her male friends at the bar. (I stumbled upon via Instagram) She told me she "missed my text, sorry hun." I drove to her house that day and told her the following: "I love you to death but this relationship is not going where I want it to and my needs are not getting met. You are more emotionally distant than I need so I can not see you anymore." Her response was "I know I am more emotionally distant than you need and I know I can not give you that and it sucks because you're such an amazing man." I gave her a hug and got up and left. Fifteen minutes later I got a text message from her that said "thank you for being so patient and understanding with me. You are truly one of the best men that I know and u deserve the same attention and care that u always showed me." I did not respond to the last message.
Im actually doing better than I had anticipated with the breakup but some little part of me has a sliver of hope that she will call or text me and say that she realizes she messed up and wants to try to make it work." That is the only thing that I am struggling with and I am trying to move forward but this breakup has got me in a rut. I put so much patience and time into her.
Thanks for letting me vent.
