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Post by anne12 on Mar 9, 2022 19:09:34 GMT
What do you do when your boyfriend gets stressed, when you ask him to correct, what he is doing?
Answer:
- he may not be stressed, but he may be afraid of losing the erection, if he slows down
- also some men are very sensitive to feedback, and feel criticized
- be curious and ask about what is happening in your partner. Explain that you are not criticizing your partner, but you are only expressing what you feel, that you need., to be able to feel good when having sex. Hear what your partner will suggest
These talks are necessary in a relationship, otherwise we will just repeat the same thing over and over again.
- What if my partner does not want to do, what I ask him to do?
Terry Real: "we have to find out if what I get in a relationship can outweigh the grief over what I do not get. How important is my need to me?"
- Another tip when I have to talk to my partner about sex, so that he dosent feel criticised:
Remember to have the conversation outside of the bedroom.
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Post by anne12 on Mar 9, 2022 19:17:48 GMT
Me and my boyfriend just had sex and then he moves away and I just want to cuddle. What is going on ?
When men are having sex their testoron level drops and they get more estrogen.
He moves away in order to build up his testoron again
Men with a lot of tetostorone will not get bonded as fast by having sex.
On the other hand most women produce oxytocin (the bonding hormone) when having sex and thats why they often wants to cuddle, spoon and maybe talk after having sex
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Post by anne12 on Mar 9, 2022 19:21:31 GMT
Men chasing orgasm:
Men can have an eagerness, when they are having sex. This can seem overwhelming to some women. 'Imagine sitting on a wild horse and imagine that you are pulling the reins by saying: "A little slower thank you. I'm sensitive, and I like it slower"
If a women compromise too often, if she has got a different sexuality, she will become dissatisfied. It's like always being invited out to eat sushi, when you'd rather have a steak.
It is not men who gives women the orgasm. (even if a lot of men - and women thinks so) but It's just a premise in the culture that we live in.
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Post by anne12 on Mar 9, 2022 19:23:59 GMT
Some) women are often surprised to learn that men love it when women initiate sex.
Many women are surprised to hear this because they have been turned down so many times. Or at least they think that's what happend. In speakning to their partners we found out that the men dident even know that they have been invited for sex. Why ?
Because how she invited him, dident register. He never even knew she was indicating a desire for sex.
One of the most important things to work out in a relationship is your "signal".
How do you indicate a desire for sex ? Does your partner know that's what that means ?
If you've ever felt like it was ignored there's a good change he or she dident know what it was.
The question to to ask each other is: “what's a good way to let you know that I'd like to have sex ?"
Once you know each others signals - wether it's high heels, a balloon tied to the bed or a direct statement like "I want you so bad" - there's a much better change you'll connect.
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Post by anne12 on Mar 9, 2022 19:29:19 GMT
The manual for the woman's menstrual cycle! When you as a man understand it (and use it actively), you are far ahead of all other men.
A womans Sex drive is affected by her cycle
As a man, you probably already know that it is not always that you and your partners sex drive are synchronous. Maybe yours is bigger than hers. Or maybe hers is bigger than yours.
But did you know that her sex drive often peaks around ovulation? Ovulation is about in the middle of menstruation, and this is where she is most fertile - that is, it is now that she can get pregnant. So nature has cleverly designed her so that she has even more desire for sex during this period.
This also means that there are other days when she does not have as high a sex drive. And that's okay.
Women often feel pressured to have the same desire every day - but that's not how they are designed at all. If a man understands - and contains it - then it gives her peace and space not to feel wrong. And there is nothing that acts as a greater aphrodisiac on a woman than to feel understood and loved as she is.
This does not mean that we women only want sex around ovulation. Because nature has also designed us uniquely that we can have sex at all times of the cycle (whereas most other mammals only have it around ovulation).
It just means she may need a different approach at times when the sex drive is not as high. If your girlfriend uses hormonal contraception such as birth control pills or IUDs, she probably has no cycle. They work in most cases by shutting down ovulation. She may still have a bleeding, but she will not go through the hormonal fluctuations that the cycle controls. She may still experience fluctuations and need care and support from you, but then there are often other factors that affect the shifts, such as crises at work or a bad night's sleep. Be aware that hormone contraception can also have side effects such as lowering sex drive and increasing the risk of depression.
There are also some women who experience increased sex drive up to menstruation - or during menstruation. It's individual, so it's about getting to know your woman. When does she take the initiative for sex? When does she feel less like it? It would not surprise me if you could start to see a pattern that fits her cycle. And when you know that pattern, then you know, for example, when to plan the weekend trip with the boys and when it's time to take her on a romantic weekend.
Step carefully as a man But what about love? In a long-term relationship, conflicts will inevitably arise, and it is often the same core conflict that returns again and again as a ghost that one cannot get rid of. However, there is one point in a woman's cycle where I would tread carefully as a man. It's the week up to her period. You can call it the ‘pick-a-fight’ week, because her fuse is shorter, she is more sensitive and more insecure about herself now. In short - she is almost self-igniting.
Around day 21 of the cycle, a hormone called progesterone peaks, which has a calming effect on her. But it starts to fall towards menstruation if she has not gotten pregnant. And when we take a sedative hormone away from the body, then it can give the feeling of anxiety and restlessness in the body. So it is not her fault or on purpose that she is sensitive and takes things a little more personally than she usually does.
However, it is important that the cycle is not used as an excuse to behave unreasonably. So feel free to remind her where she is in her cycle and encourage her to take care of her own needs. Be patient, but also remember your own boundaries. The hormones can affect and control her, but she should also use her cycle to learn to accommodate and love all aspects of herself. However, if she has very severe PMS, it may be due to a hormonal imbalance and then I would encourage her to seek help.
But men also have a cycle - a daily cycle, which is controlled by testosterone. Testosterone is highest in the morning and decreases slowly during the day. For example, it may make him feel that he has energy and drive in the morning, and in the evening is a little tired and has a focus on recharging.
Hormonally speaking, a man looks like himself from day to day. But he is not as predictable as we might think, because testosterone can be affected by many things. For example, what age he is, whether he is married or not, whether he has children, and whether he has seen an attractive woman that day.
But if you take any given woman with a normal menstrual cycle and find out where she is in her cycle - then you can quite easily predict how she will feel.
For What can you use the cycle ?
Personally, I think we could create far better relationships if the sexes started to understand each other a little better.
That men became curious about how a woman changes during the month - and that we as women do not try to make men women and think that they understand what it is like to have a cycle.
When a man shakes his head and says, "Can a cycle really affect you SO much?", We should not blame him. Because how could he know what it is like if he has never experienced it? Let us instead practice explaining to each other what it is like to be in our different bodies so that we can compliment each other and harness each other's strengths.
I was wondering how many divorces and relationship problems could have been avoided or reduced if we dared to talk more about the menstrual cycle. Unfortunately, it has been a taboo for a long time and something that few people are able talk about over the dining table.
So it starts with us beginning to understand how it affects us and talking about it with each other.
Of course, the cycle cannot explain everything. Crises and unforeseen events in life can all help to affect our relationships. But the cycle is an important factor that we do not talk enough about.
I would encourage you - man and woman - to see the menstrual cycle as a template.
If there was a manual for women, it's this one.
It is not about you as a man being subject to the fluctuations of a woman. But if you want a happier partner who feels loved and gives all her love to you, then you are far ahead of other men if you understand her cycle and design your relationship accordingly around this.
A hormonal expert, a hormonal yoga teascher
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Post by anne12 on Mar 9, 2022 19:34:16 GMT
Sex, love and goop - highly recommend!!! Netflix youtu.be/o4KO4mN2_FsNetflix Sex, love and goop Sexological Bodywork has made it to the mainstream media. Sex, Love and Goop. Jaiya Ma, and Darshana Avila lead couples through a process of recovering and discovering aspects of their sexual identities and erotic blueprint-- and so much more. Michaela Boehm explains to GP what Sexological Bodywork is! Let the unshaming continue. The trailer is flashier than the content in the show. (it's a trailer) this could be considered a positive replacement for porn, with actual people who love each other, trying to find their way back to each other. |
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Post by anne12 on Mar 9, 2022 19:40:04 GMT
When it comes to the differences between men and women, one place we see them for sure is in the bedroom. Neuropsychologist Dr. Louann Brizendine—author of The Female Brain—says it's all about timing.
While men can take about three to five minutes, on average, to achieve an orgasm, it can take women up to 13 minutes. "Foreplay for men is everything that happens about three minutes before sex," Dr. Brizendine says. "Whereas for females, it's everything that happens the 24 hours before sex. Because if she gets upset or angry about something, then she's not in the mood by the time sex is going to happen."
Just thinking about or visualizing sex sends blood rushing to a penis. But it takes much more to put women in the mood. "Temperature and comfort are also very important to achieving orgasm," Dr. Brizendine says. "Researchers in the lab found that if they didn't keep the woman's feet warm, they had difficulty reaching climax. So cozy socks may not be sexy, but they get the job done
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Post by anne12 on Mar 9, 2022 19:44:08 GMT
Porn, striptease ect. Women rarely gets turned on by striptease, chippendales, magic mike, - as men gets turned on by striptease & porn. Why? Because our energy systems are different. According to Chinese medicine, men and women gets turned on differently. Men are sexually aroused via the kidneys, which pass through their vision Women are turned on through the liver, which goes through their emotions. Magic mike, chippendales and male striptease are rarely what turns women on, and I really think it's created from a notion that women's lust is like men's. Nope. It aint news that women need to FEEL that they are to be able to feel safe to lean back. To Open up. Knowing that the masculine will catch you and there is room for their feminine. ——————————————————————-=- John Wineland Sex, the nerveussystem and porn youtu.be/AtizkEHjdq0 |
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Post by anne12 on Mar 9, 2022 19:50:51 GMT
Women can lose their desire for sex, if they have lost the respect for their partner!
An example: The man may have a leader position at work , but he does not take intiative and co-responsibility at home , and leaves the responsibility to his partner.
Or he lets his partner make most of the dissions in the relationship. She can then loose respect for her partner, expecially if she is very feminine.
How can you as a woman continue to have respect for your partner ?
How can you, as a man, help your wife to keep having respect for you?
- do you as a man need to take more initiative ect. ?
Try to cultivate your masculine energy and make things happen, take initiative, surprise her, help her with household, duties ect.
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Post by anne12 on Mar 9, 2022 19:53:04 GMT
What is your erotic blueprint What is your erotic blueprint and what is your partners erotic blueprint Erotic blueprint is an arousal map that reveals your primary erotic language: energetic, sensual, sexual, kinky, or shapeshifter. Your Erotic Blueprint is a map to your own wiring and your own turn-on. People speak different erotic languages, and we can learn how to speak any of them. Discovering your Erotic Blueprint is a process that starts with asking yourself questions. And if you’ve watched the Netflix show Sex, Love & goop, you know there’s more pleasure to explore (solo or with a partner) once you’ve figured it out. What are the five Erotic Blueprint types: - kinky - shapeshifter - sensual - energetic - sexual The sensual type is someone who’s turned on by all of their senses being ignited. This is someone who loves tastes, smell. They want to walk into a beautiful setting when they’re coming into their erotic play. They bring the artistry. And so the superpower of sensual is that they have full-body access to orgasmic pleasure through sensations—it isn’t always a genital-focused orgasm. It could be something like somebody feeding you a delicious piece of chocolate while they lick the back of your knee. The energetic type is someone who is turned on by anticipation, space, tease, longing, yearning. You may be an energetic if you feel everything before the kiss happens. It’s like, Oh my god, oh my god, we’re going to kiss. We’re going to kiss, ah. That feeling. You are very, very sensitive, so it doesn’t take much to turn you on. It’s like dropping a pebble into water. If you drop the pebble into water, the ripples will go out. The sexual type is someone who is turned on by what we think of as sex in our culture. Nudity, genitals, orgasm, penetration—these are some of the things the sexual loves. The superpower of the sexual is that usually turn-on is pretty easy: You can go from zero to sixty quickly. It’s not that there’s a lack of depth, but there is a simplicity. It’s like, I love this. This is what works. Let’s do this. It’s very straightforward in some ways; it’s easier to access arousal through the genitals. The kinky type is someone who is turned on by the taboo. There are a couple of different kinds of kinky types: One is more psychological, where it’s about the power dynamics. One is more sensation-based, where it’s more about the feeling of ropes on their skin or impact play or intense sensation that arises. It’s not necessarily what we think of as kink, though; it’s about what’s taboo for you. The shapeshifter type is someone who’s turned on by everything the sensual, sexual, kinky, and energetic types are turned on by. The superpower of a shapeshifter is that they can shapeshift to be an amazing lover to anyone. They can say, “Oh, my partner is a sensual—I’ll shapeshift to be a sensual.” And they’re turned on by that. What are the shadow sides for each type: The sensual’s shadow: The shadow side of the sensual is getting caught in your head. It’s that everything in the room is not right. The pillow’s crooked. I’m worried about my body. It’s those things that distract from the sexual, full-body erotic experience. The energetic’s shadow: Oftentimes people say to an energetic, “Oh, you’re frigid,” but it’s just that there’s so much sensation that they short-circuit. Part of the shadow side is that they can short-circuit very easily and shut down because it’s just too much stimulation. If you’re throwing giant boulders in the water over and over and over again, it’s too much for the energetic. They just need a pebble. The sexual’s shadow: The shadow side for the sexual type is that they get too focused on the genitals and too focused on the orgasm and too limited in their definition of what sexuality is. They’re missing the rest of the journey, oftentimes because they’re so focused on getting to the end goal of the orgasm. Oftentimes sexuals say, “Well, what? It’s all good. We’re having an orgasm,” when their partner brings up that they want something more in the bedroom. Everything else is too complex to them. The kinky type’s shadow: The shadow side for the kinky type is tied to the sense that what turns you on is taboo, and you can feel shameful about it. It’s like, Oh, I shouldn’t be doing this. So then shame can come up. That can prohibit you from fully enjoying the pleasure. An interesting piece here is that the shame can be a part of the turn-on, but it can also be part of the shadow if it’s inhibiting you. If it’s something that’s like, “I can’t do this thing or I can’t get out of my head because I’m thinking about how naughty this is,” then that can be an inhibitor to the turn-on. The shapeshifter’s shadow: For the shapeshifter, the shadow side is oftentimes that they’re not fed. They feel like they’re too much. Somebody somewhere in the past usually said something like, “Why can’t you just be satisfied with this? Why do you want more?” The shapeshifter loves more, more, more, more. There’s a hunger. I find oftentimes the shapeshifters are starving because they’re shapeshifting to please other people and not being fed themselves. LEARN YOUR EROTIC BLUEPRINT™ TYPE TO GET DEEPER CONNECTION AND GREATER SEXUAL SATISFACTION. Learning an erotic language to express what turns you on and turns you off is a first step. missjaiya.comtheblueprintbreakthrough.com |
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Post by anne12 on Mar 9, 2022 19:58:19 GMT
Can men learn to ride the wave?
Yes, they can. The more we have been riding the wave, the better orgasms we will get in the end.
Everyone can learn to ride the wave. It is about being present in what is happening in the precent moment.
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Post by anne12 on Mar 9, 2022 20:09:31 GMT
For many men, lack of sex drive is taboo. It is a masculine ideal to be a potent and virile lover who is always ready to make his woman happy.
Therefore, many men experience decreased sex drive as something shameful. They do not feel like talking about it, but it leaves the woman confused and insecure.
11 typical reasons why a man does not want sex:
He does not want to adapt to his desire
He fears being rejected - low sex self-confidence
He is bored
He does not feel like a man
He is hurt and angry
He wants to be regonised
He's tired
He's stressed
He prefers porn and masturbation
He has performance anxiety
His testosterone level is low
1. He does not want to adapt his sex drive to the womans needs
Men's and women's sex drive is often different. And therefore men and women have different desires for sex and intimacy.
Often the woman is allowed to decide, because the man most often has the greatest sex drive, and therefore more or less voluntarily submits to the woman's wishes.
But if the man always feels that he has to adapt his sexuality, in order to please the woman, he loses the desire.
The man's sex drive is typically more physical and less emotionally oriented. This means that when he has an erection, he really just wants to get started without too many detours. That is why many men are npt interested in a long foreplay.
In addition, the man is typically more goal-oriented. He wants an ejaculation, and then rolls around on the side without having to have a bad conscience.
Finally, men do not always understand the woman's need for love and emotional closeness. He has heard that he has to make sure to warm up the woman during the day, flirt, send sweet text messages, etc. But he does not really understand why.
He does not need emotional closeness to have sex. For him, intimacy may come only during or after sex.
So if you as a woman experience that your husband no longer bothers to have sex, consider doing it more in his way.
For example, you can offer him a morning blowjob, give him a handjob while you watch porn, have sex in the car when the urge comes over him, agree to a quickie without talking, etc.
Ihe suggestions are only meant to kickstart his lack of sex drive. Once your sex life has gained new energy, talk about your different needs and desires.
I recommend many couples that they occasionally take turns to "decide" how they want sex. It's an easy and fun way to vary your sex life, and both parties show each other their sex drive without having to adjust it.
2. He fears being rejected
Often the man takes the most initiative when it comes to sex. But if the woman rejects him again and again, he will stop taking the initiative
He gets bad sex self-confidence and stops taking initiative. Instead, he suppresses his lust, or gets his lust satisfied through porn and masturbation.
Think about how often you reject him and consider whether you can reject him in a better way. Instead of just avoiding him, say, “I do not really want sex right now because I'm tired. But tomorrow morning we can have fun. ”
Also remember to tell him that you are happy that he covets you and often takes the initiative for sex.
Many men miss their woman taking more initiative in sex, so if you miss sex as a woman, do not just wait for him to do something. Take the initiative yourself.
3. He's bored
When you have been together for a while, the sex life often becomes routine. There are the same 3 positions in 10 min - its like watching the same movie over and over again.
For some, it means familiar security, which opens them up even more to sex and eroticism. For others, on the other hand, the routine gives them less sexdrive.
It depends i.a. whether sexual desire is driven by dopamine or oxcytocin.
Here are some suggestions for change:
Buy some naughty underwear and surprise him
Visit a sex shop together and get inspired
Try a new position
Have sex somewhere else than in the bedroom
Take a weekend trip in a cottage or hotel
Kiss, flirt and touch each other in the kitchen, car, forest or other new place
Share each a fantasy
Think back to the naughtiest sex you've ever had
Face each other during sex
Have romantic love sex where it's all about giving love
Have wild sex where it's about being as horny as possible
Have slow sex when it comes to being present
Role play
4. He does not feel like a man
The feeling of boredom can also be related to lack of polarity. Polarity is created when both parties behave (and perceive themselves) as male and female. The problem is that modern gender roles sometimes become a little too neutral in an ordinary everyday life.
Therefore, both the man and the woman are responsible for ensuring that everything does not become grey. The man must occasionally find his inner warrior, king or male, and the woman must occasionally find her inner whore, goddess or queen. Every time
As a woman, you can help your husband, by encouraging him to spend time with other men, go to sports, correct him less (so he does not feel like a naughty boy), give him a place in the house that is his, where he can do as he wants without you interfering etc.
You can also awaken his masculinity by being more feminine when you are together. By flirting, being open, luminous and loving. Or tell him you're happy to have sush a masculine strong boyfriend who can take care of you so that he feels like Tarzan.
5. He is hurt and angry
Both men and women can lose sex drive if there is emotional distance. But unlike women, men are often bad at putting their feelings into words. Therefore, they rarely take the initiative to talk about things.
If your husband does not feel like having sex, it may be a sign that he is hurt. Ask about his feelings, but do not expect him to want to talk about it.
A better strategy is to give him love so that he feels accepted and loved. Cuddle yourself into him, give him a massage so he calms down.
Do not try to force him to have sex, but be open, loving and patient.
6. He wants to be recognized
For many men, sex drive and potency are related to feeling strong, successful, competent and good.
Where love might be what women most want from their partner, it gives a man the feeling of being skilled, good, competent and strong.
If you criticize too much, and praise too little, he loses confidence as a man, and therefore he also loses the desire for sex.
Every time you criticize or correct him, remember to praise and acknowledge him twice.
7. He's tired
If he is tired and exhausted, he does not have the energy for sex.
If fatigue is a problem, then finding a time for sex in the morning or in the middle of the day is a simple solution. Many people's sex lives have been ruined by the fact that it only takes place at 11pm, when both are tired.
In fact, the man's testosterone peaks in the morning. So that's another good reason not to wait until the evening with sex.
Make it a habit to go to bed half an hour earlier and set the alarm half an hour earlier. Use the extra 30min to cuddle, and to have sex.
8. He is stressed
Stress puts the body in an alarm state, which makes it physically impossible to get an erection.
Many men are stressed without knowing it. But the body sends a clear signal in the form of lack of sex drive and erection difficulties.
If he is stressed, it only becomes worce if he feels pressured into sex, because it only makes him even more stressed.
Remember, his lack of sex drive has nothing to do with you. So do not take it personally
9. He prefers porn and masturbation
Some men (and some women) become addicted to porn. It's easy, safe and he can get it the way he wants it.
Of course, he decides for himself what he sees on his computer screen, but if porn takes up too much space, it goes beyond your sex and love life.
You can possibly suggest that you watch porn together. That way, porn does not become something that creates distance. Instead, the experience can be used to strengthen the sexual and emotional contact.
Porn addiction can be hard to get rid of. Therefore, I also recommend professional help in the form of couples therapy and sexological counseling.
10. He has performance anxiety
Most men have performance anxiety in one form or another. Because men rely much of their self-esteem in the ability to get an erection and perform, he does not dare take the initiative to sex if he is not 100% sure he can perform.
The more sex only consists of in and out movement, the greater the performance anxiety will be.
Therefore, you need to show him that sex consists of much more than penetration. The better he becomes at giving and receiving without penetration, the less the disaster becomes when the erection fails.
Suggest that you have a nude date, where you lie under the duvet and cuddle, watch movies and talk without penetration. It's a great way to give closeness, love and touch without being stressed about having to perform.
Be careful not to be too outgoing sexually. It can be scary if he suffers from performance anxiety.
It is better that you show your openness and let him come to you. That way, he has control over the situation so he does not suddenly feel he has to perform when he is not ready.
11. His testosterone level is too low
Lack of sex drive may be related to low testosterone levels.
There are several reasons for a low testosterone level:
First of all, testosterone levels are affected by age. The older, the less testosterone the body produces. Therefore, sex drive typically decreases with age.
In addition, being overweight is one of the major causes of low testosterone levels.
Low testosterone levels can also be linked to zinc and magnesium deficiency. It can be easily investigated, by taking a dietary supplement for a period of time, and noticing if it has an effect.
Sleep, exercise and a healthy diet can also contribute to a higher testosterone level, a better relationship with one's body and a generally higher sex drive.
A male sexologist and therapist specialised in working with men groups
Last Edit: Apr 2, 2021 at 6:13am by anne12
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Post by anne12 on Mar 9, 2022 20:11:44 GMT
Best time for men to have sex is in the morning or up until around the middle of the day.
Testorone is rising in the morning and thats why men often wake up with a morning erection. At the end of the day their testorone level goes down and they can become tired and just want to go to sleep. You can say that they are in their "menstrual phase" at this time of the day.
Thats why it is better to wait for the next day as a woman to ask her man for sex than after 10pm in the evening, so that the man dosent get interupted in his 24 hour testorone production cycle.
There can be several reasons for mens low testosterone level:
testosterone levels are affected by age. The older, the less testosterone the body produces. Therefore, sex drive typically decreases with age.
In addition, being overweight is one of the major causes of low testosterone levels.
Low testosterone levels can also be linked to zinc and magnesium deficiency. It can be easily investigated, by taking a dietary supplement for a period of time, and noticing if it has an effect.
Sleep, exercise and a healthy diet can also contribute to a higher testosterone level, a better relationship with one's body and a generally higher sex drive
Tim Gray is a male biohacking coach in the UK.
Biohacking men can try to slow down their sexual arousel or try to not ejaculating at all when having sex with their partner.
For women it is different. It depends where she is in her menstrual cycle.
If she is in her ovalutory phase or xxx
Women can use their many nerve endings in their clitoris (women got 8000 nerveendings compared to mens 5000 nerveendings) to turn up their level of oxytocin, nitric oxcide ect. Thats why women sould practise self pleasure as often as possible. The female orgasm is the best biohacking tool for woman.
Women and men can therefore try to understand eachothers biological needs
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Post by anne12 on Mar 9, 2022 20:15:37 GMT
Life crises:
The sexual act is the place where men label themselves the most '
When we are in a life crisis, the importance of bodily contact and physical intimacy cannot be underestimated, neither in men nor women. The experience of feeling valued and loved means that we produce stress-relieving hormones and at the same time regulate our nervous system, says sexologist.
While many women lose their desire for sex more quickly and instead prefer conversation, care and closeness as another form of intimate contact when they end up in a crisis, it is often the opposite for men.
“For many men, the sexual act is the place where they feel the most. This is where they really are in touch with their emotions and here they can sense themselves on a deeper level. If men experience a stress load over a long period of time, they will therefore have more desire for sex, '.
But for some men, the opposite happens in a life crisis, so the discouragement can instead cause them to lose their desire completely or become impotent.
Yet the importance of bodily contact and physical intimacy when we are in a crisis cannot be underestimated, and this applies to both men and women. For the body contact and the feeling of being appreciated and loved, we produce stress-relieving hormones and at the same time regulate our nervous system. "
According to a sexologist, sex drive lies in our DNA, with men especially in the male sex hormone testosterone.
"Sex gives him discharge and makes him relax more, not least in a crisis."
The fear of losing one's masculinity.
“The woman wants the man to read her thoughts and feel how she feels and what she needs. He wants physical contact, like sex, but not just sex. And while she has suffered from their sexual intercourse and may have completely lost touch with her body, the man still has the drive, but may at some point feel like a sex monster. "
"In our culture there is an expectation that a real man is one who can more or less always perform sexually, which is a completely distorted picture."
According to the therapist and sexologist, it is still a taboo for men to talk about their feelings. Even though today there is a much greater acceptance that it is allowed to talk with his friends when things are not going well with the sex life.
“There are still many men who are not trained to put words on their emotions, while women easier for women.When a man ends up in a crisis, part of the explanation may be that he feels he has to perform across the board, yet still considers himself inadequate. He must be caring, present and present in the family, cultivate his friends, train his body and make sure he is insightful.
Women who are in a life crisis have often neglected their own needs for a long time to be as good as possible for others and at work. Common to men and women is that they do not feel that they are striking and that they have overheard their body's signals for too long. "
So if You are a woman and your boyfriend is stressed
out and he wants sex, give IT to him. (But not if You cross your own boundaries). By helping him regulate his nerveussystem through sex, he can be more precent with you afterwards (and less strressed)
For some they want too much sex because of stress so that IT becomes too much for their partner. Then IT is No longer lovemaking but sex.
Then IT can Be a good idea to find out what are the stressors in your life and make some changes.
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Post by anne12 on Mar 9, 2022 20:17:16 GMT
The rigid caracter structure.
Our body can show what happend to us and where we got stuck in our development as a child.
If you've got some of the rigid character structure which developed around 4-6 years old, you can have a split between your heart and your sex. You've got rejected by the opposite sex parent.
You are either able to have sex with or you can love your partner. But it is not possible to combine the two together at the same time. Either one is good at opening one's heart or one is good at being sexual and seductive. Both gives problem in relationships. This can only be healed in a relationship. (The fifth caracter structure)
According to a attatchment/SE teacher the best way to work with this is in a committed relationship combined with other kinds of techniques..
m.youtube.com/watch?v=uT1patJfSh8
Do the yang breath where you breathe through your penis/genitals/uterous and up and out through your heart
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