I'm mad at myself.

It's only been (almost) 4 months since the whirlwind romance began. A month ago he was assigned a travel project that would have him gone quite a bit. I was apprehensive to stay together bc I was feeling that while we bonded, it wasn't sticky enough. He reassured me that it would work bc we can explore different cities together, talk nightly, text. The first time he was to come back, he said he couldn't due to work. I had to ask. The second time, same incident. I got mad. I broke it off. He texted, I bent, it was slow moving conversation over Thanksgiving while he was visiting family. He was to come back this weekend. We're not at 5 weeks away. We had a nice chat in a long time a couple days ago, then he disappeared for two days. He texted today saying he hasn't heard from me in 2 days and hopefully I'm doing well. I eventually responded and told him it's been crazy around here. He wanted to know why. I simply explained my dad was very ill and the doctors didn't know what was wrong. I said it's looking like everything will be ok though. Radio silence since 1:30pm. WTF??