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Post by anne12 on May 13, 2022 7:03:38 GMT
Having a traumatic birth of your child does not * necessarily * mean that something actually went wrong. From a clinical point of view. You may well have had a “normal” birth, but still feel that something is off.
Disappointment, postpartum reaction, the feeling that it was actually traumatic. And maybe you, like me, did not see the birth as traumatic. It only dawned on me 3 years later in a Breathwork session. And let me tell you why.
Because I want to give you the acceptance that the emotions you are sitting with are VALID.
Trauma is a bodily reaction to an experience that is for you - Too fast Too soon Too much
Has the birth been fast. Fast in the way that you have not been able to keep up with what happend.
If the birth started before you were emotionally / spiritually ready, something happened along the way that you did not consent to - examinations, too rapid penetration by vaginal examinations.
Has it just been overwhelming with the pain you have experienced.
All the people who were present. Change of doctor/midwife. The emotions. The loss of control (in my eyes it is basically a big loss of control to give birth because you as a woman have to go so much with the experience, which can be a big loss of control), all the emotions that are at stake. Or have you actually experienced complications. Times in childbirth where you felt abandoned or cut off from the world.
It is always a feeling that belongs to traumatic experiences - whether you are surrounded by people. It gives you the feeling of being alone in the world in that very moment. No matter what they said.
If you are sitting with the feeling that it was difficult, hard, complicated, overwhelming, etc., then I hope that with these words you can better TRUST IN YOUR OWN PERCEPTION OF YOUR BIRTH. In the next post, When the biological impulses feel interrupted, then it can be experienced traumatic.
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Post by anne12 on May 13, 2022 7:12:09 GMT
When the biological impulses can not be completed, you can experience it traumatic.
Because an interrupted reaction - especially the biological ones, often manifests itself as a trauma.
Which can be seen by:
-Chesarean section
-Forcing the birth in the form of stimulation or otherwise speeds up the process (yes, even if it was a necessity)
-Your child is taken away from you (even if it is only short-lived)
-Baby's breastfeeding and finding the way to the breast is not complete (even if you have chosen it yourself)
Everything can be rationalized as being normal, your own choice, the best for the course of the birth - but it does not change the fact that it can feel like an interruption and thereby a traumatic experience.
The birth of my son in 2014 was even such a one of a kind. I had prepared myself a hell of a lot with yoga and Painless Birth.
I had planned EVERYTHING for my home birth.
What ended up feeling like a traumatic part of the birth was: The huge loss of control I felt because I was so tormented, the birth was long and I did not sleep for 1.5 days because I could only sit or stand
I allowed the midwife to weigh him, even though deep down I did not want to - giving him away for a short time was so much against my biological instincts Breastfeeding did not work, we went home and I remember looking at him in bed and feeling powerless. Only after 24 hours. But the wildest thing that made his birth a turning point was: That I experienced sexual abuse as a child.
All of this led to me not daring to let go. The opening that happens in childbirth activated it all again. Because the body remembers, traumatic experiences accumulate in your tissues and can come to the surface in such a situation.
And opening my root chakra this way was so overwhelming.
That I only years later realized that women who have experienced sexual abuse - they need extra care, because boundaries, needs and consent are not a less natural part of their lives, which is ultra necessary in such a vulnerable time in life as pregnancy is.
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Post by anne12 on May 13, 2022 7:18:45 GMT
Trust that what you are feeling is VALID. Feel your emotions when they appear - you can release them in small steps (which is most gentle on your nervous system).
Feel where your emotions have a physical imprint in your body. If it's too difficult to have this contact, just sit and breathe calmly - preferably through your nose - when they appear. Because with the help of this, you begin to teach your nervous system and brain that it is possible to connect to the calming part of your nervous system. In this way, you reprogram your whole being so that it is possible to find peace, even when the memories, sensations, emotions, appear.
If you long to transform your births from the experience that it has been difficult to wisdom, to life experience and acceptance of your and your child's story, then I would recommend you to choose a therapist who can accompany you on the journey
It can be talk therapy as well as body therapy. But if you choose talk therapy, then choose one that ALSO includes the body. And understand how redemption happens.
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Post by anne12 on May 13, 2022 7:32:23 GMT
How do you get ready for a subsequent birth when the birth was traumatic before?
That question worried me a lot during my pregnancy:
To have the feeling that my body is not fit to give birth.
The fear of experiencing the tormented, traumatic, cut off from the world feeling again, made me very uneasy.
I knew it was time to transform this.
The feeling of insecurity invited me to turn the question within myself: How can I create security for myself?
My work with Trauma-Oriented Breathwork has taught me so damn much about trauma-oriented approach to life.
The most important thing you can do for yourself is to create safety.
When you are safe, you can open up physically - you do not tense up. When you are confident, you can open up emotionally - you are open energetically. When you are confident, you can open up to welcome your child into the world
I did this to create security in my pregnancy and around the birth:
I got my own, private midwife
I would not tolerate shift change, different midwives, where I would have to tell my story over and over again.
I wanted a woman who would be able to follow me and we could put a plan together. + it was Covid times, so it was too insecure not to know how the country would lay when I had to give birth.
I made 3 lists.
A Wish list for home birth
A Wish list for possible transfer to the hospital
A Wish list for any caesarean section
All with focus on what I want deep inside when in my birth I tend to have a hard time feeling what I really want.
Especially when the energy peaks in childbirth and being so energetically open after childbirth. In the next post, I will share the rest of my list, which is so important around security, consent, boundaries and needs.
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Post by anne12 on May 13, 2022 7:39:29 GMT
When you want to prepare for the birth after a difficult experience from the previous birth.
In the last post, I shared with you why security is essential - the most important thing for you as a woman to be able to give birth more in tune with you.
Trauma-informed birth & consent
Since I as a woman have experienced sexual assault with a massive assault on my boundaries early in life, it has taught me that boundaries are incredibly important to communicate.
Therefore, from the first midwife visit, I wrote in my hospital record that I had a history of abuse.
Therefore, I did NOT want vaginal examinations unless it was vital. I opted out of the medical and midwife examinations, which to me just felt like unnecessary "let's measure this so we can see if you fit our schedule perfectly"
I told them it was important that they took TIME on examinations AND when they asked questions + eye contact is important.
Because when you are in a tTrauma Response, then you need to slow down + you know you are in a response when you have difficulty keeping eye contact.
I also got written into my journal and of course told all this to my midwife that my boyfriend is important to have by my side because he can see when I am in some kind of “Trauma Vortex / response”. So it's important they listen to him, as here I can experience it as being in a kind of …..
All of this is the most important part of what I did. SECURITY, communicate my boundaries in advance so I could give myself the opportunity to relax when the birth would be active.
Take all scenarios into account. There is a fine line between control and security in this.
But when it comes to creating security for yourself - based on a trauma-informed choice - that's what we call Orientation.
Orienting oneself in advance creates security. There's a fine line between that and control, but whatever works in such situations, right?
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Post by anne12 on May 13, 2022 7:45:36 GMT
coreawareness.com/womb-to-world-2/Working along side perinatologists, obstetricians, and indigenous midwives, Anna Verwaal RN, CLE has attended hundreds of high-risk hospital deliveries and natural births at home. Her research on the long-term effects of conception, nine months in the womb, and birth experience have evolved into an educational and healing perspective regarding the journey that shapes our lives. From Womb to World is a conversation between USA born Liz Koch and Dutch born Anna Verwaal concerning the assumptions, imprints, and traumas reflected in the cellular matrix of human beings that are expressed in the core tissue of the Psoas.
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Post by anne12 on May 13, 2022 7:45:47 GMT
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Post by anne12 on May 13, 2022 7:49:01 GMT
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Post by anne12 on May 13, 2022 8:00:29 GMT
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Post by anne12 on May 13, 2022 8:08:36 GMT
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Post by anne12 on May 13, 2022 8:11:39 GMT
worldpopulationreview.com/country-rankings/maternity-leave-by-countryMaternity leave refers to the period of time that a mother takes off from work following the birth of her baby. Many companies that offer maternity leave for mothers will allow the same for father, typically referred to as paternity leave. Parents expecting to take maternity should plan ahead financially for several weeks of no pay or reduced pay, in addition to the extra costs associated with newborn babies. Around the world, the number of weeks allowed for maternity leave and the percentage of pay varies by country. In the United States, the Family and Medical Leave Act (FMLA) is a law that requires covered employers to provide at least 12 weeks of unpaid family leave time after the birth of a child or after the adoption of a child. There are exceptions to this law such as the business being less than 50 employees, the parent being employed with the company for less than 12 months, and if the employee earns within the top 10% of wages in the company. While the law requires a minimum of 12 weeks of unpaid leave for new parents, companies have the option to extend the number of weeks and offer a partial salary to parents, although this is not required. The minimum required paid maternity leave in the U.S. is zero weeks. The U.S. has the fewest maternity leaves protections or benefits of any country.
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Post by anne12 on May 13, 2022 8:16:28 GMT
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Post by anne12 on May 13, 2022 9:27:27 GMT
Traumatized doctors are trying to control birth to avoid ongoing trauma related to death
(Most doctors could properly use trauma therapy themselves)
Gil Hedley
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Post by anne12 on May 13, 2022 9:46:58 GMT
Working moms, Netflix youtu.be/gk1vKFcUxyUWarm, loyal PR executive Kate and her longtime friend, no-nonsense psychiatrist Anne, attend a judgmental mommies' group, where they meet timid IT tech Jenny and blindly optimistic real estate agent Frankie. The four quickly form an unlikely friendship, sharing struggles of urban motherhood filled with the chaos of toddlers, tantrums, careers, and identity crises, all while trying to achieve the holy grail: a sense of self. The ensemble comedy is largely drawn from the personal experiences of star/co-creator Catherine Reitman ("Blackish," "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia"). |
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Post by anne12 on May 13, 2022 11:17:08 GMT
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