Post by kailani on Feb 2, 2023 18:55:06 GMT
Hi. I have posted here before but I would love feedback. Prob past history can show it. But I was blindsdided a year ago, and we were not speaking but never removed each other social media. Never really heard from him for 8 months except once he texted. Since about 9 months after the breakup we wound up living near each other, in the same social circles, and even some mutual friends and activities. He was civil but 1:1 still completely ignored me which hurt (bc I thought it crazy not even to say hello like strangers after 2 years and 3 years knowing ). Also, in that time on occasion he would join my friend and I to eat, until one time I got upset and said he was not welcome since he ignores me otherwise. I use the term ambush bc the breakups were, and when he did talk to me or joins us, it is no notice he just joined.
Anyway, over the holidays I had planned to write a letter. I never did. I believe he has some other issues besides AT and just had a hunch it was not the best time and even not rue how to word things based on the other issue besides AT.
Anyway, in the past week, I was walking and he ran up to me and on the spot wanted to talk, told me it is really important he needs to talk. He needs to apologize and it;s really important we speak (again an ambush). I truly had to make a call in 15 minutes..a vital call. I was in a lot of stress from that and he kept persisting on it. I said no I can’t now, but he kept up till finally I did get angry and told him no it won’t be this way again, it has to be when it is good for both. I was pretty harsh. Then he wanted to text and I said in a couple weeks. I kind of explained why I was having a hard time but he insisted. He looked sad. I left and made my call.
I wound up texting that night apologizing bc I was rude- that I do want to talk I just had a moment and it is better if we are both in the mindset. He was saying things like he deserved it, his fault, and he understands bc he always does this and he knows he has been very distant.
Since then he is texting me a lot, and answers when he sees it. I felt it was unfair to make him feel bad bc I think it has taken alot fo him to approach or speak to me, or even interact. Plus it was wrong on me to behave that way.
I have said before that I do want this person in my life…at this point friends, esp since we do share alot of interests, friends, and despite that blindside, our relationship was really pretty nice. I have no anger towards him, but I did want him to know how this blindside, ignoring, etc affected me, and just talk about some things. I realize we are doing this backwards, talking before the TALK. But in some ways I feel it is making it easier for both of us to break the ice so to speak and be comfortable. IT was not meant to be that way…it just happened.
Is this normal to receive an apology this way and how would myletter be received?
I don’t know what he is going to explain/apologize.
I really don’t want it to come off as blaming ..To me, it is just I think he does not realize some things and how they impacted me the WAY it was done. I am definitely going to hear waht he has to say, but I was thinking a lettter bc it is better for me..and maybe even for him too.
And..I am guessing he is DA..I always waver. Sometimes I think FA. I am glad he did reach out to me, and hoping we can mend our friendship.
Anyway, over the holidays I had planned to write a letter. I never did. I believe he has some other issues besides AT and just had a hunch it was not the best time and even not rue how to word things based on the other issue besides AT.
Anyway, in the past week, I was walking and he ran up to me and on the spot wanted to talk, told me it is really important he needs to talk. He needs to apologize and it;s really important we speak (again an ambush). I truly had to make a call in 15 minutes..a vital call. I was in a lot of stress from that and he kept persisting on it. I said no I can’t now, but he kept up till finally I did get angry and told him no it won’t be this way again, it has to be when it is good for both. I was pretty harsh. Then he wanted to text and I said in a couple weeks. I kind of explained why I was having a hard time but he insisted. He looked sad. I left and made my call.
I wound up texting that night apologizing bc I was rude- that I do want to talk I just had a moment and it is better if we are both in the mindset. He was saying things like he deserved it, his fault, and he understands bc he always does this and he knows he has been very distant.
Since then he is texting me a lot, and answers when he sees it. I felt it was unfair to make him feel bad bc I think it has taken alot fo him to approach or speak to me, or even interact. Plus it was wrong on me to behave that way.
I have said before that I do want this person in my life…at this point friends, esp since we do share alot of interests, friends, and despite that blindside, our relationship was really pretty nice. I have no anger towards him, but I did want him to know how this blindside, ignoring, etc affected me, and just talk about some things. I realize we are doing this backwards, talking before the TALK. But in some ways I feel it is making it easier for both of us to break the ice so to speak and be comfortable. IT was not meant to be that way…it just happened.
Is this normal to receive an apology this way and how would myletter be received?
I don’t know what he is going to explain/apologize.
I really don’t want it to come off as blaming ..To me, it is just I think he does not realize some things and how they impacted me the WAY it was done. I am definitely going to hear waht he has to say, but I was thinking a lettter bc it is better for me..and maybe even for him too.
And..I am guessing he is DA..I always waver. Sometimes I think FA. I am glad he did reach out to me, and hoping we can mend our friendship.
