Post by sunshine400 on Mar 3, 2023 10:19:59 GMT
6 months ago I met a man. There seemed to be something off with him but I didn’t know much about attachment styles, I presumed it was because of his mbti which was INTP. Anyway at first he helped me out with some things, I don’t speak the language here fluently so he helped me a lot, he wasn’t a big texter but he would message or call at least once a day. He seemed really caring even though he wasn’t very talkative.
At the 3 month point things began to change. He would disappear for days, he would call everyday for a week then not call again for weeks. He stopped wanting to meet as often, and if we did meet, it was less like a date and more something practical. He told me he had broken up with his ex of 6 years suddenly because he wanted his freedom. He would regularly say he wanted space, freedom and to be alone. He didn’t have many friends. The issues started when I would show my emotions or raise a problem. He would shut down, told me he hated emotions or emotional things and was unable to talk or communicate normally. He would shut down and disappear instead of having a conversation.
Deep down though it felt like he cared, but I was unable to understand his hot and cold reactions. It confused me till I went from secure to anxious. At the 6 month mark he suddenly announced he wanted to study abroad. He is a man in his 30s with a good job but he wanted to abandon it all. He couldn’t understand why this upset me and stated multiple times it was his life and his freedom so why could I understand.
About a week after that he sent me a message to say I was selfish, shocked, I called him several times. He went crazy saying he couldn’t talk to someone led by their emotions, and that I wasn’t normal, and that he wanted to be left alone. I then asked simply if I could have my stuff back. He said yes, then no, then yes, then no and blocked me everywhere.
im left feeling confused and shocked, I have no idea if he is likely to come back or not? I’m the past he would come back after a week or so but only when approached, I obviously can’t approach him now. I also saw he was on dating sites already.
At the 3 month point things began to change. He would disappear for days, he would call everyday for a week then not call again for weeks. He stopped wanting to meet as often, and if we did meet, it was less like a date and more something practical. He told me he had broken up with his ex of 6 years suddenly because he wanted his freedom. He would regularly say he wanted space, freedom and to be alone. He didn’t have many friends. The issues started when I would show my emotions or raise a problem. He would shut down, told me he hated emotions or emotional things and was unable to talk or communicate normally. He would shut down and disappear instead of having a conversation.
Deep down though it felt like he cared, but I was unable to understand his hot and cold reactions. It confused me till I went from secure to anxious. At the 6 month mark he suddenly announced he wanted to study abroad. He is a man in his 30s with a good job but he wanted to abandon it all. He couldn’t understand why this upset me and stated multiple times it was his life and his freedom so why could I understand.
About a week after that he sent me a message to say I was selfish, shocked, I called him several times. He went crazy saying he couldn’t talk to someone led by their emotions, and that I wasn’t normal, and that he wanted to be left alone. I then asked simply if I could have my stuff back. He said yes, then no, then yes, then no and blocked me everywhere.
im left feeling confused and shocked, I have no idea if he is likely to come back or not? I’m the past he would come back after a week or so but only when approached, I obviously can’t approach him now. I also saw he was on dating sites already.
