Post by Deleted on Dec 15, 2017 0:58:10 GMT
I think that after these types of experiences, we often wonder a lot about what went wrong. My ex who displayed FA tendencies did give me some good advice (just after he told me he no longer loved me) "Learn from the person and from yourself and apply it to the future". Granted he was rationalizing his own actions but I appreciate the truth in what was said even if it came from someone who had just drop kicked my heart.
What have you learned about yourself so far? What did you do RIGHT in your relationship?
People who attach anxiously, What did you do right?
People who attach avoidantly, I feel for you because you are often aware and plagued by your struggle to connect. So you have probably, according to the theories, been in more relationships. So in what areas have you improved over the course of time?
I'll go first:
I was able to identify some red flags and address them promptly.
I was able to identify my personal needs.
I was able to express those needs.
I was open to listening and compromising whenever I possibly could.
Once I received his truth, I was able to accept that truth as painful as it was to hear.
I am able to sympathize and love a person who says they don't love me without bitterness or shame.
I was able to open up to friends and family during my grief and explain to them what I needed.
I was able to find out who else in my life is truly secure and who is not.
I gained a better understanding of myself and the way I process emotions....
I was able to take responsibilities for my own actions.
This list goes on....
Your turn!
What have you learned about yourself so far? What did you do RIGHT in your relationship?
People who attach anxiously, What did you do right?
People who attach avoidantly, I feel for you because you are often aware and plagued by your struggle to connect. So you have probably, according to the theories, been in more relationships. So in what areas have you improved over the course of time?
I'll go first:
I was able to identify some red flags and address them promptly.
I was able to identify my personal needs.
I was able to express those needs.
I was open to listening and compromising whenever I possibly could.
Once I received his truth, I was able to accept that truth as painful as it was to hear.
I am able to sympathize and love a person who says they don't love me without bitterness or shame.
I was able to open up to friends and family during my grief and explain to them what I needed.
I was able to find out who else in my life is truly secure and who is not.
I gained a better understanding of myself and the way I process emotions....
I was able to take responsibilities for my own actions.
This list goes on....
Your turn!
