Post by lynnbracken on Mar 18, 2023 4:39:48 GMT
My DA ex and I were slowly reconnecting. He initiated contact by calling me a month after the breakup. He invited me over a couple of times, so on the third invite I accepted. He was making an effort to see each other at least once on a weekend night. During the week he would call every second or third day just to chat and the calls lasted anywhere between 45 minutes to an hour. It wasn’t all mindless banter; he spoke of his parents (both deceased) and spoke of the fun times we used to have. His invite included cooking me dinner. After dinner and the cleanup, I gave him a peck on his cheek and thanked him for cooking for me. He pulled away and gave me what I call his infamous deer in the headlights look. Dinner was great, we talked, grand time. Later we were lying down watching TV, Some chit chat, but he had his back to me the whole time.
Later when we went to bed, he turned his back to me and didn’t say a word. Cancer left him impotent, sex is out of the question. There was no cuddling, he didn’t even touch me. I don’t mind that he can’t do it and prefer cuddling and being entwined as we sleep. I guess intimacy for the DA is not limited to the act of sex. Maybe three or four hours later, he got up, went to the living room and slept in his chair. I didn’t say anything and went back to sleep. He’s an early riser, so a little after 6:00 AM he came into the bedroom, woke me and said he had things to do. “Things to do, busy, busy day, rise and shine”. He never said it, but it was obvious he wanted me out of his house. I practically lived in that house at one time and been there alone more times than I can count, but not this day. He was having some sort of DA meltdown. I could almost smell the anxiety in the room. Now get this, both up and outside, the “things to do, busy, busy day, rise and shine” was over and he asked if I wanted to go look at something in his barn! I wasn’t ugly, I just said, no and that I was going home to go back to bed and thanked him again for cooking for me. I didn’t hear from him on that day, Sunday, but he called Monday and we talked for over an hour (I think he called to see if I was angry for kicking me out so early). That was eleven days ago and I haven’t heard from him since.
He's the one who kept inviting me over until I gave in. WTF? I thought about texting him and asking him how long I was grounded, but I obviously triggered something and calling or texting him could make matters worse. Maybe it’s too early to be seeing each other. When he comes back (he’ll be back), I’m considering telling him that I think it’s best that we just talk on the phone, as no one should ever feel uncomfortable in their home. Later, if he’s cool with it and makes an effort to call, maybe we can start meeting up for lunch or dinner. I just feel that it’s more important to rebuild our rapport first and stay away from intimacy situations. Thanks.
Later when we went to bed, he turned his back to me and didn’t say a word. Cancer left him impotent, sex is out of the question. There was no cuddling, he didn’t even touch me. I don’t mind that he can’t do it and prefer cuddling and being entwined as we sleep. I guess intimacy for the DA is not limited to the act of sex. Maybe three or four hours later, he got up, went to the living room and slept in his chair. I didn’t say anything and went back to sleep. He’s an early riser, so a little after 6:00 AM he came into the bedroom, woke me and said he had things to do. “Things to do, busy, busy day, rise and shine”. He never said it, but it was obvious he wanted me out of his house. I practically lived in that house at one time and been there alone more times than I can count, but not this day. He was having some sort of DA meltdown. I could almost smell the anxiety in the room. Now get this, both up and outside, the “things to do, busy, busy day, rise and shine” was over and he asked if I wanted to go look at something in his barn! I wasn’t ugly, I just said, no and that I was going home to go back to bed and thanked him again for cooking for me. I didn’t hear from him on that day, Sunday, but he called Monday and we talked for over an hour (I think he called to see if I was angry for kicking me out so early). That was eleven days ago and I haven’t heard from him since.
He's the one who kept inviting me over until I gave in. WTF? I thought about texting him and asking him how long I was grounded, but I obviously triggered something and calling or texting him could make matters worse. Maybe it’s too early to be seeing each other. When he comes back (he’ll be back), I’m considering telling him that I think it’s best that we just talk on the phone, as no one should ever feel uncomfortable in their home. Later, if he’s cool with it and makes an effort to call, maybe we can start meeting up for lunch or dinner. I just feel that it’s more important to rebuild our rapport first and stay away from intimacy situations. Thanks.
