Got ghosted and blocked

While he's probably FA, there's more that was going on here for you to consider. I don't want to focus on him too much, but I'll start by saying FAs aren't "broken." They have a lot of trauma, issues, and fears to choose to address and heal IF they want to, and like anyone with an insecure attachment style, when unaware they're very bad romantic partners for anyone who wants a secure and solid long-term relationship. If that's what you're looking for, over time they're probably not a good match because they don't have the same needs and can't provide you with what you're looking for, which is fine. Look to date and choose other types of potential partners who are a better match and wish them well, but you don't need to blanket label them as broken instead of as people.

Now, in terms of the specific situation. It sounds like he was attracted to long-distance because he has intimacy issues and doesn't want a close, real relationship, even if he didn't say as much. His actions said it. I don't believe in actions always speak louder than words, but I do believe in if actions aren't matching words aren't matching feelings, then the inconsistency reveals someone isn't ready for a full relationship and you should "listen" to the aspect that is the most "negative." He can say whatever he wants, but in actions he never followed through on meeting you and eventually blocked you without warning. Especially so quickly, within just the first few months. That's a guy who wants validation, sexy talk, and a pen pal at a distance for connection, not a real relationship. WHY this was the case doesn't matter, because it was the case before you even started talking, so it had nothing to do with you.

You should ask yourself what you're looking for and were hoping to get out of this, and if someone who told you who they were and what all their issues were is the type of person to get you to the goals you're looking to accomplish. Someone who is at the same life stage as you and is truly open to a mature relationship is going to be a much better choice to explore a connection with than someone who doesn't know if they can love and wants to talk about and engage in sexting and kinks before you even meet or know each other. If you're only looking for casual and hooking up that's fine, but if you're looking for more, then all the actions this guy displayed were not it. Especially since he's 40, so it's not like he isn't old enough to know himself and his own mind and be emotionally mature. Even if he's not ready to date yet and still on the rebound from his divorce and his lack of emotional availability is temporary (it can easily take a couple years to be ready to date for real after a divorce), saying at that age the fearful things he said to you are red flags if you want more than a casual hookup or pen pal. I'd also wager his issues aren't due to a recent divorce, and it's more likely his divorce was due to him and his ex having their own issues going into the marriage, but how the ex ended up choosing to handle it didn't make anything better. I'm making some assumptions here of course, but it sounds like now he's wallowing and trying to distract himself instead of making changes to recover. Again, the important takeaway: his behavior has very little if anything to do with you specifically.

You mention a narcissist ex, and I strongly suspect you will find better connections with new men if you do more to heal from your past bad experiences first. When you've been in an abusive situation, your self-esteem and standards can end up on the floor without you even realizing it. Which leads you to have lousy standards for your future dates and how they treat you. You're more likely to continue to accept crumbs and less than you deserve because compared to someone all out abusive, they treat you somewhat better, so it's an improvement? But your opinion of yourself, any hypervigilance and projection onto others to protect yourself from getting involved with someone like your ex again will backfire. Because the pain and fear from the past will push you into more unequal relationships with people who don't want to be full partners, as open and available people will sense all your walls up and have trouble building a connection with you. So if you haven't put a lot of time or effort into examining your own attachment style and its origins, into healing from the damage your ex did, and into looking to see if YOU'VE got any past dating patterns of behaviors, you'll find yourself drawn to non-starter situations like this more often without hearing if your instincts are telling you it's not working and to walk away.

I'm not saying long-distance can't work and always is a red flag. I met my husband long-distance during pandemic lockdown because distance didn't really matter right then. But we escalated (from messaging to phone to video chat until we could start making it work to spend lots of time in person when things were safer) and always had momentum to move forward and a plan to close the distance. There's a difference between that and one or both people desiring long-distance because of the built in space and fantasy aspects it offers in place of in-person connection, so that's what you'd need to look out for in a distance situation if you're seeking something serious.