Post by esperanta on Nov 10, 2023 11:41:21 GMT
Hello everyone and thank you so much for your messages! I agree that this is a situation where one party doesn't want to change anything but also doesn't want to take responsibility for breaking up. My therapist is back from his vacation, and we had a powerful session similar to the one you just suggested Anne with the two chairs.
The outcome was that I need and want real, honest connection with my partner in order to feel fulfilled in a relationship, and that he is trying to avoid that at all costs.
The words suddenly popped into my head during the session: "someone who doesn't want to look at themselves also doesn't want to be truly seen by others". It became very clear that not only does he not want to change anything but isn't able to because it's too frightening for him.
This realization has brought me some peace which I couldn't find for the last days. Knowing that I am asking a person for things they will never be able to give me is sad but also empowering. I am willing to end the relationship, and I won't let it happen by being ghosted.
The outcome was that I need and want real, honest connection with my partner in order to feel fulfilled in a relationship, and that he is trying to avoid that at all costs.
The words suddenly popped into my head during the session: "someone who doesn't want to look at themselves also doesn't want to be truly seen by others". It became very clear that not only does he not want to change anything but isn't able to because it's too frightening for him.
This realization has brought me some peace which I couldn't find for the last days. Knowing that I am asking a person for things they will never be able to give me is sad but also empowering. I am willing to end the relationship, and I won't let it happen by being ghosted.