Post by lovebunny on Aug 1, 2024 19:12:20 GMT
I'm disorganized/AP, he's AP, together 6 months.
Fight was over sex (not money) those are the big two? Mostly it was because we were misinterpreting each other's motivations. It came on the heels of a very bonding weekend, which got me all wondering if one of us is trying to sabotage. It was only our 2nd disagreement, the last one was sort of a foreshadowing of this bigger disagreement, but didn't go on as long.
I'm learning that he's not a great communicator, as in he waits too long while he's figuring out if he should really be upset instead of just telling me what's upset him. Thus, he lets resentments pile up, then unloads them at once. I'm reasonable about the first thing, by the "and another thing," I'm done listening.
He's learning I don't have a very good filter and say things that may be true but aren't always kind or necessary. I ding him sometimes without it being my motivation for saying the thing that dings. I will have to work on self-censoring.
After this disagreement, we were able to text it out reasonably, but I'm struggling to muster up enthusiasm to see him again.
I guess I knew, logically, that we'd have conflict at some point. And I know he's done nothing that is a "dealbreaker," I've had an awesome 6 months. But now I'm feeling like what's the point? Why get in a relationship when it just leads to fighting and feeling like I'm not good enough? Deflated is the only word I can use. I guess it's normal, end of honeymoon phase? I feel like there's often bumps right around 4 to 8 months....Trying to remember that just last weekend, I was absolutely nuts about this guy. Today I'm feeling FA.
Fight was over sex (not money) those are the big two? Mostly it was because we were misinterpreting each other's motivations. It came on the heels of a very bonding weekend, which got me all wondering if one of us is trying to sabotage. It was only our 2nd disagreement, the last one was sort of a foreshadowing of this bigger disagreement, but didn't go on as long.
I'm learning that he's not a great communicator, as in he waits too long while he's figuring out if he should really be upset instead of just telling me what's upset him. Thus, he lets resentments pile up, then unloads them at once. I'm reasonable about the first thing, by the "and another thing," I'm done listening.
He's learning I don't have a very good filter and say things that may be true but aren't always kind or necessary. I ding him sometimes without it being my motivation for saying the thing that dings. I will have to work on self-censoring.
After this disagreement, we were able to text it out reasonably, but I'm struggling to muster up enthusiasm to see him again.
I guess I knew, logically, that we'd have conflict at some point. And I know he's done nothing that is a "dealbreaker," I've had an awesome 6 months. But now I'm feeling like what's the point? Why get in a relationship when it just leads to fighting and feeling like I'm not good enough? Deflated is the only word I can use. I guess it's normal, end of honeymoon phase? I feel like there's often bumps right around 4 to 8 months....Trying to remember that just last weekend, I was absolutely nuts about this guy. Today I'm feeling FA.
