Post by Deleted on Jan 11, 2018 20:13:38 GMT
I shared this on another post where one poster had this to say and I wanted to share my personal experience
*Know that your brain chemicals have been altered and you will need to do a bit of neurological rewiring (metta/loving kindness meditations and a daily gratitude practice are fantastic ways to do this)
I do remember that just before my ex ended things I was dealing with a lot of stress. Family drama, serious issues where I felt a responsibility to be there and help these individuals more than usual. Then my best friend of 10 years did something that really hurt me. We had never had a REAL disagreement. I was difficult for me to confront her about it but I did and her reaction was to completely cut me off without as much as one conversation about the issue. The family members that I had spent so much time supporting cut me off too as my ex-best is dating my nephew. I now have no contact with that part of my family because of her reaction to my expressing my hurt about what she did. I was grieving this loss when my ex decided to end things. I was traumatized.
I don't get truly close to a lot of people so this was a large number of the people I was closest to that cut me off all at once.
I remember telling my friends that something snapped in my brain. I could almost pinpoint the exact moment when it almost felt like a circuit breaker tripped in my brain SNAP! This wasn't normal stress or anxiety. Something chemically felt off. I kept telling people, I'm not well and I was terrified! I had never felt like that before and I had been through some pretty traumatic stuff in my past.
I went to therapy but talking about it wasn't helping. I asked my doctor to give me antidepressants which alleviated some of the symptoms but the anxiety persisted. I battled looping thoughts and the feeling of operating on high alert longer than I felt was reasonable was making me feel insane! It was so miserable. I wasn't able to function in life or at work anymore. My brain had been chemically altered and I wasn't myself anymore. It truly wasn't something I was going to be able to just "talk out". This was PTSD.
I had dealt with trauma from my past by seeing a therapist who used EMDR, it doesn't work for everyone and I'm not making any medical recommendations, but it worked wonders for me.
This time though, I couldn't find a therapist that did EMDR withing my network that I could afford as I have a high deductible insurance plan. Ok TMI...any whooooose it....
Realizing this was not an option, I did seek the assistance of a super kind psychiatrist. Between him and my primary care physician we were able to find the right anxiety medication. I worked closely with them as one class of medications that deal with brain chemicals I am allergic to and had a very negative reaction to. But once I found the right one, the anxiety stopped being so persistent. Intrusive thoughts lessened greatly and secure thoughts, my normal thought process, returned.
He made sure he prescribed me a medication that I would not get addicted to and I was told by my doctor that I would not have to stay on these medications forever but that I was experiencing a high level of grief and when I had fully grieved these issues I could stop taking them.
The medication was just an aide to my healing process.
Some people feel a certain stigma is attached to those who take meds for the brain but I see it this way: I deal with a thyroid condition. Now, since my body attacks my thyroid so that it doesn't produce enough of the hormone that the body needs, I have to monitor those hormones about every 3-6 months and take medicine that makes up for the deficiency. No one judges me for needing thyroid meds. when they find out. I'm not ashamed of taking care of that part of my health.
Likewise, because something happened in my brain which caused my body to no longer the chemicals it needs to regulate my anxiety, I needed medicine for that. There is no shame in my game BABY! I'M BACK!
People have differing views about seeing medical help so again, I am not recommending any specific treatment for anyone here. But it is an option one might want to consider.
I just wanted to share my personal experience with using therapy and medication to help find my center once again.
*Know that your brain chemicals have been altered and you will need to do a bit of neurological rewiring (metta/loving kindness meditations and a daily gratitude practice are fantastic ways to do this)
I do remember that just before my ex ended things I was dealing with a lot of stress. Family drama, serious issues where I felt a responsibility to be there and help these individuals more than usual. Then my best friend of 10 years did something that really hurt me. We had never had a REAL disagreement. I was difficult for me to confront her about it but I did and her reaction was to completely cut me off without as much as one conversation about the issue. The family members that I had spent so much time supporting cut me off too as my ex-best is dating my nephew. I now have no contact with that part of my family because of her reaction to my expressing my hurt about what she did. I was grieving this loss when my ex decided to end things. I was traumatized.
I don't get truly close to a lot of people so this was a large number of the people I was closest to that cut me off all at once.
I remember telling my friends that something snapped in my brain. I could almost pinpoint the exact moment when it almost felt like a circuit breaker tripped in my brain SNAP! This wasn't normal stress or anxiety. Something chemically felt off. I kept telling people, I'm not well and I was terrified! I had never felt like that before and I had been through some pretty traumatic stuff in my past.
I went to therapy but talking about it wasn't helping. I asked my doctor to give me antidepressants which alleviated some of the symptoms but the anxiety persisted. I battled looping thoughts and the feeling of operating on high alert longer than I felt was reasonable was making me feel insane! It was so miserable. I wasn't able to function in life or at work anymore. My brain had been chemically altered and I wasn't myself anymore. It truly wasn't something I was going to be able to just "talk out". This was PTSD.
I had dealt with trauma from my past by seeing a therapist who used EMDR, it doesn't work for everyone and I'm not making any medical recommendations, but it worked wonders for me.
This time though, I couldn't find a therapist that did EMDR withing my network that I could afford as I have a high deductible insurance plan. Ok TMI...any whooooose it....
Realizing this was not an option, I did seek the assistance of a super kind psychiatrist. Between him and my primary care physician we were able to find the right anxiety medication. I worked closely with them as one class of medications that deal with brain chemicals I am allergic to and had a very negative reaction to. But once I found the right one, the anxiety stopped being so persistent. Intrusive thoughts lessened greatly and secure thoughts, my normal thought process, returned.
He made sure he prescribed me a medication that I would not get addicted to and I was told by my doctor that I would not have to stay on these medications forever but that I was experiencing a high level of grief and when I had fully grieved these issues I could stop taking them.
The medication was just an aide to my healing process.
Some people feel a certain stigma is attached to those who take meds for the brain but I see it this way: I deal with a thyroid condition. Now, since my body attacks my thyroid so that it doesn't produce enough of the hormone that the body needs, I have to monitor those hormones about every 3-6 months and take medicine that makes up for the deficiency. No one judges me for needing thyroid meds. when they find out. I'm not ashamed of taking care of that part of my health.
Likewise, because something happened in my brain which caused my body to no longer the chemicals it needs to regulate my anxiety, I needed medicine for that. There is no shame in my game BABY! I'M BACK!
People have differing views about seeing medical help so again, I am not recommending any specific treatment for anyone here. But it is an option one might want to consider.
I just wanted to share my personal experience with using therapy and medication to help find my center once again.